Hi Nell,
I’m so glad you got your statement sorted out to say what you wanted to say. As it happens I didn’t get to make mine today as the policeman rang to tell me he couldn’t get away so will be round sometime at the weekend. Just as well really as we were having a washing machine delivered and installed and they arrived early…at the time he would have also been here. Even having the washing machine done was sad as Andrew was a gas heating installer and plumber and he always did it all for us 
.
His older brother came round to see us yesterday…we haven’t seen him since the week Andrew died. He didn’t mention Andrew at all but I didn’t push him to talk about him as I think it’s his way of coping with it all.
Sorry to hear about your wall but I totally understand what you mean about it not being worth worrying about. It seems that since losing our children everything else is pretty much irrelevant and not worth stressing over.
I hope your chinks of light continue to grow larger…I find I’m crying less now and have been doing a little gardening.
Love to all the other ladies and gentlemen too…thinking of you all
Sue xxxx
Hi all i did a statement for my sin back in December and have not heard a thing from coroner except they are waiting on a reply from hospital xx
Hi Welshie,
It’s all very stressful isn’t it? I’m so sorry you’re going through it all too. It’s so sad…your son was the same age as mine too 38 yrs old.
The Norfolk coroner has been so helpful and nice to talk to. He has let me know the date the inquest is set for in October.
He’s also asked for a statement from me which he needs by 27th June…this is in addition to the one the police will take.
I don’t mind writing one but I do have a tendency to be very long winded and it’s taking me a long while to get it right.
He did also give me the results of the blood and tissue tests so I know why Andrew died.
I expect different areas must have longer waits due to the backlog caused by all the covid cases.
It’s just another hurdle to overcome before gaining a little respite from the sadness of it all.
Thinking of you…and everyone
Love Sue xxxx
I hope your chinks of light grow too. Doing a bit of gardening is a chink of light I think. Xxx
Thanks Sue. I know these things take a long time and i do want to know what happened on the day that Neil passed but am a bit apprehensive as things will be so final and sometimes i think i dont want to know, just a bit all over the place atm xx
Hello ladies , do hope your all trying to be kind to yourself been a while since anyone has posted . I am just coping by cutting off with the world we live in . The months are rolling in but I’m still in the same place . Such a weird feeling it’s like your in your own little bubbles. Xxx I must say the medication I’m taking does seem to be helping .
Hi Teddy, so good to hear from you again. I’m glad the medication is helping I’m pretty certain that my medication must be helping me too as I feel I’m coping so much better. In fact I worry that I’m coping TOO well.
I’ve decided to go to a metal detecting rally this coming weekend. As you probably know from my other posts this was the hobby I shared with Andrew. We used to go out together every weekend and were due to go out the morning I found him . I didn’t think I’d ever go again but I saw our group out in a field a couple of weeks ago and stopped to chat. It’s like our detecting family and I realised I missed them and the peace of walking around in the countryside. The dig is actually only a couple of miles from my house…they’re usually at least 20 miles away so perhaps this was meant to be. Hopefully I won’t have a complete set back but I need to try.
I know what you mean about being in a bubble though. I don’t go out much and have a feeling of detachment as I still haven’t gone back to work. That in itself is nice…all the pressures of work just don’t exist for now. Are you still off work Teddy?
I have been reading everyones posts…hope you are all experiencing some brighter days.
Love and hugs to all…Sue xxx
Hi sue , no I too haven’t gone back to work and if I’m totally honest do t think I will . I totally agree you become so detached from the world and I believe it’s our way of coping . I just spend time with my kids and grandchildren they are my life . I have been having counselling session and all I talk about is my kids just can’t still really talk about Daniel just not ready . Life is so hard !! Glad your going to try and get back to your metal detecting as you said all you can do is try . This is our life just trying to get through the days as I always say going to war xxx
Hello Teddy - it’s good to hear from you. Sending hugs xxx
Lovely to hear from you too xxxx
Hi all . Oh Teddy great youve posted i did wonder how you are . Alot of the ladys post on lost son at 27 … thats me 14months on i just live for jess and family . Life eill never be the same again . I miss sam every minute . I too take medication it slows you down which is not a bad thing . . Much love to you all . Welcome back teddy …well done sue andrew woill be so proud you going detecting. Hope you enjoy it . Our lifes have to go on . We just have this sad empty wanting waiting xxxx love to all zoe 
Hi ladies, hope you are all well. Didnt think anyone was posting so stopped for a while. Reasurring to see familiar names and hear what you are doing. It is hard but we will get through in our own time. Sending hugs xxx
Hi Welshie,
I think it’s because a lot of us post in Loss of our Son aged 27.
I always check and read posts on both threads. We’re all still here!
How have you been? I know your son was 38…the same age as Andrew when we lost him. Are you having any brighter days?
Love Sue xxxx
Good morning all.Its hard to believe that when I joined this group It was only 4 weeks since I lost Louise.Now it’s nearly 8 months on. In the beginning someone said you seem to have got over it now.I was devastated. I will never get over it.I am sure even on my death bed I will still wish she was here to see me off. Difference now if it was said I wouldn’t care less what she thought. I Still suffer from anxiety but I can go out and socialise
.I can smile more at the memories.I get pleasure from reading a book and gardening.Last year was our golden wedding we didn’t celebrate because Louise was poorly. But in 3 weeks we will be going on a cruise that was postponed I will probably be anxious about it but I will try my best.Sue I a hope you get the same pleasure from detecting as you did with Andrew.Teddy hang in there You are in my thoughts.Sending peace and hugs to all
Kath xx
Thank you Kath…I feel sure Andrew will be walking beside me when I’m out in the fields.
I have a new friend…she is actually one of Andrew’s friends that I’d never met until we lost him. He used to tell me about her, she’s married to another good friend of his. He always said I’d really like her…even though she’s a bit loud 
.
She loves all the things I love, she goes to a Healing group meeting and she’s a very positive, optimistic person…sees the beauty in everything.
She called round yesterday evening with a gift for me…4 lovely crystals…before going on to her group. Later she sent me a voicemail (I was on my phone) to say when they were at the group her healer said to her…“There’s someone standing beside you Tasha, I’ve seen him twice now” ." He’s big…really tall". Andrew was 6 ft 2and half ins tall. Tasha said she’d just been to see me and her healer said it would certainly be him…
It’s only a meditation group…just that this person has the ability to see things but it’s not what they go for.
Well…just wanted to share that…I hope I explained it properly.
So Kath…I do hope you have a wonderful time on your cruise. It’s this kind of thing…me detecting, you going on your cruise that we think would never have been possible. In the beginning it feels that life will never be worth living again…but it is, all be it with a sadness which never disappears. This is the message that we’re passing on to those who are still in those early days of grief. You don’t believe it but you do smile again…you do remember beautiful memories and smile or even laugh instead of crying.
Well I’ve waffled on enough
Love and hugs to everyone …Sue xxxx
Lovely reading your posts ladies , definitely gives you some peace . So thankful to be able to post and for all the support we all give each other . Big hugs to all xxxx
Hi all,
I have just been reading your posts and they give me hope and inspiration, thank you. Kath its so nice to hear that you are now smiling more and taking pleasure in reading and gardening, I am hoping to follow your footsteps in time.
Well done Sue for going detecting again for sure thats what Andrew would have wanted and Im sure that he will be there beside you, guiding you. I hope it brings you great comfort.
Thank you all again for such inspiring messages and support.
Sue xxx
Hi Sue i have gone back to work, working from home but only part time, i find it helps take mind off things, and have had some good days which sometimes seem a bit easier till you get a trigger and then it floods back i cant believe how the time has gone by as its now 10 months since i lost Neil. I hope your days are getting a bit brighter too!!
i have just been activated on kidney transplant list as my first transplant is failing after nearly 25 years but not feeling to bad atm. Its lovely that all the ladies still post and the connection we have is still there xxx
Today was the day i have been dreading hearing the serious incident report of my sons passing. Well the hospital made numerous mistakes with his treatment ultimately leading to his death. Was then told they will learn from this so it doesn’t happen again. I feel like he has been taken away from me all over again its heartbreaking. Love you for my beautiful son Brandon forever 19 x
Omg that is awful ! As I often say cruel world xxxx