Yes am getting through ok Glad u Teddy and Zoe . Adrian girlfriend had a party for him .I did not go to this though .I am sure they would have had more interesting stories to tell if I was absent . I know I have felt a bit angry thinking 'WASNT ONE enough to whomever. But I feel a lot better now the evening is setting in. Love to u allxx
Wouldnāt blame you for dealing angry, god knows how you keep going . Thank you all ladies for your lovely messages . Xxxx
Hi ladies ive cried non stop all day my head spinning this sick wicked world we live in .its so wrong x
I totally agree Zoe , xxxx
Zoe I was like that yesterday.It started when I went to see my Grandson in his new house.His mum would have been so proud.Sometimes itās good to cry yourself out.Its exhausting and unfair.But itās better than bottling it up. Big hugs.
Thank you kath .feel so angry got councilling in 10 mins cant be bothered would rather speak on here xx little steps kath this crazy new life we been given x
Hi kath just read through your posts so sorry about your daughter .must be so hard for you with your beautiful grandson .my thoughts are with you .look after yourself much love zoe xx
I donāt think councilings for everybody. I donāt know how anybody whoās not walked in our shoes can help. Mostly itās just text book stuff.
So true how can people understand if they havenāt been through it . The truth is I donāt even know nothing no more . Just canāt even think about nothing no more . Xx
Iāve just been to take the donations from my daughters funeral. She would have wanted it it to go to a Recovery college Itās a place that deals with mental health.She used there services in the past.They are going to get a bench for the lovely garden that the service users have created.I have been told I can go whenever I want .I thought it was a nice gesture.she would have loved that.
Ah thatās lovely . Xx
Thats such a lovely thing to do kath you will be able to go when you want xxx
Teddy such early days nothing makes sense .day at a time lovely big hugs xx
Dear Jenna
Iām so desperately sorry youāve lost two sonsā¦and in such close succession 
You are so brave speaking about your losses. Iāve lost one son and Iām only just feeling like meā¦nearly 30 months since Henry died.
Keep postingā¦people here are beyond amazing. I meditate- it stopped me going completely madā¦I had a complete breakdown and my emotions were uncontrollable.
Henry is always with me - I will carry him forever. 
Much love and hugs
Purple
Thank you Purple I appreciate your post and I am sorry for your loss Yes it is an overwhelming loss and I have a feeling that I have not quite taken in the enormity of it all .
I keep wanting to wake up and find out itās all a dream a big awful mistake, but of course it isiānt and this reality is very hard. I have one other son and in a way we keep other going withe basic every day tasks but he is suffering too . I try not to look to far into the future or even tomorrow, that is when I feel the worst. It was Aid bday yesterday so have felt worse recently. I do empathise with other peopleās pain. My partner died a few years ago, my brother died when he was 25 and of course my parents. Thank you again for your
Compassionate post.
Morning ladies , feel like crap today , honestly canāt cope with this pain . I feel so numb and lost and the thing is I canāt even think about what has happened as I feel I will crack up . How are you meant to go on when your so lost inside and really do t want to be here anymore . I know people try and help but itās too hard . X I know I have other children who I love dearly and they do give me strength . I hate it when people say your doing well . What does that mean ?? Xxxx
Iām thinking about speaking to my GP and maybe get some anti depression medicine. Xxx
Teddy do go to see your GP .They will be able to help. I get through it because my daughter suffered for 6 months in the end all she could move was her head. What I canāt get my head round is how? Can someone so healthy within 2 days of having the covid vaccine go downhill so fast.Please think about your other children .They will be missing their loved one too.Its hard but we have to get through each day as it comes.
Thank you Kath , I am trying to be strong
Its so hard ladys ladys im 10 months on and this week is awful .i cant stop crying reliving this time last year .its so wicked. Go doctors i take tablets and sleeping tabs in the beginning.its just not right just keep coming on .its the only thing that helps me xx
Thanks Zoe , canāt talk to doctor until next Thursday !! I just donāt know nothing no more just trying to battle each day to get through . I honestly think there can be nothing worse then what we are all going through as mothers . Cruel world and the thought of not having them in just frightening xxx