Hi Nell, have you tried ‘Child Bereavement UK’? They were helpful to us with counselling xx
I didn’t know about them. I will look online. Thank you x
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I’m sorry to hear your granddaughter had to witness her mum pass away. It’s hard enough as an adult to process it all let alone a child. I just hate to imagine the images they have in their little heads. The school just don’t/can’t seem to understand how much he’s struggling. They made a comment about treating him like everyone else, but he’s not the same as everyone else. No 2 people are the same and even more so in our situations. If he had ADHD or something like that they would try and manage the anger issues in a different way so surely that’s the same with anger he has through grief. They have promised us so much, in school counselling, a therapy room that he’s supposed to be allowed to go to when things get to much in class, but like you say they don’t follow through with any of it! As an adult we’re allowed to go to the doctors and get signed off work for depression etc but as a child they are expected to just carry on and it’s wrong!! You moan as much as you like because I agree with everything you’ve said. I feel like we have been handed a leaflet for a child bereavement charity and left to deal with it all alone. I never realised how little support there actually is until I found my own family needing it.
We’re on waiting lists for 2 different charities and we have finally got the doctors to agree to see him to assess him for PTSD. So fingers crossed we may finally be getting him the help he do desperately need. I will also have a read up on the other charity you have mentioned. Thank you so much for your reply it really does help speaking to someone who understands. Take care 
x
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I agree totally with your comments about Mental Health provision, my 39 yr old daughter attempted suicide and spent 6 days in hospital, she was reviewed by psychiatrists, mental health crisis team and GP. However they discharged her to my home and 5 days later she left to end her life in the local park. Why did the specialists not consider her high tisk or spot that she was experiencing a psychotic episode?
Mental health has been hugely underfunded even well before covid. There are far too many mums and dads grieving their son or daughter when timely, kind active, professional help might have meant things turned out differently. I saw my daughter suffer for years trying to get help, it was always too little, too late. The turnover of staff meant she had to spend months with a new professional getting to know her, only to find they’d leave and another temporary one would want to start from the beginning but once again, leave before any benefits. The crisis line frequently had no one responding to calls and if she was lucky enough to get a reply they either suggested she had a cup of tea or promised to come round and it was a guess whether they’d show up, they frequently didn’t. So many times we hear of their failings and they ‘will learn lessons’. In my experience the staff are exhausted and overloaded and too underfunded to run any useful service for most people. They seem to avoid helping if they possibly can, I don’t blame them I blame the government who lie about the state of mental health services. Xxx
Its been a year and 2 months since my 21yr old son took his own life …today i got a letter about attendending an adverse review…they dont know what i know …firstly he was under the mental health system from the age of 5yrs old he was the youngest of 5 children loved and brought up exactly the same …tho i noticed he had difficulties…hence the help i tried to get from authorities…i noticed different behaviour patterns…he never lacked intellect …just struggled socially…to cut a long story short i banged on dòors for medical help for him since he was that little boy trying to heal the parts i didnt understand or was not able to understand…i was scared as him mum too …for his wellbeing …as he grew to a teenager i tried to guide him independently and he got his own flat …and he loved it …he was enrolled in college passed all his IT courses got offered an apprenticeship…he never lacked intelligence…we are a very close knit family and myself and his four siblings kept intouch everyday …we knew Nathan was intouch with his local doctors and psychiatrist …when he took his own life we realised how much he was failed and i have evidence…firstly he attempted suicide a week before…on a friday. Dials 999 (ive got evidence on his phone tho authorities say he didnt)…they let him go …i was his registered carer and not informed(was told hes an adult tho obviously not in right frame of mind )…they knew he lived alone …the following wednesday…he goes to A&E again asking for help …they keep him waiting …he walks after checking in …still nobody follows up …ive asked for his medical records they will not release them …many discrepancies that i have evidence for …my son screeamed for help
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I’m so very sorry about your lovely son. My son took his own life in 2020 he was 26. the circumstances sound very similar to my sons experience, my son was let down badly by the mental health services and his passing could have been prevented if he had received the care he needed. I tried my best to fight the mental health services and the NHS just to get an apology about what happened but they told so many lies and tried to cover it up, the fact he had tried to take his own life twice in the week leading up to his death didn’t seem to matter. We had a serious incident review meeting to discuss what had happened it was like talking to 3 robots the report was full of lies and cover ups My son was sectioned the night before he died after the police took him in because he was so poorly but he was sent home the next day alone and in a right state 
. Their excuse for sending him home was that he still had capacity as he knew his name and address and the name of the present prime minister.
. If they had kept him in I honestly think he would still be here now and I hold them fully responsible for his death. Iv spoken to other parents who have had similar experiences and whose children have been let down. Its absolutely heartbreaking its hard enough losing a child but when it could have been prevented it rips you apart every single day I really hope its different for you and you get some answers, sending hugs x Doms mum xx
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My daughter of 19 years of age took her life under Section 3 in hospital. She was highly intelligent, creative, artistic, beautiful. Fab sense of humour and social. Unfortunately hospital is not the answer either. My daughter lost all hope. If we had been listened to by so called professionals she may well be with us now. She wanted to live.
This link below is probably a good way forward, but it needs skilled staff, experience and a proper caring attitude not staff that just want money and go home. It’s also just a small part of what is needed.
I hope we can all find a way to at least get some respite from the grief in years to come, time is no healer though. I don’t know what is but everyday is sad, everyday is difficult to get through, everyday is a challenge.
Xxx
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Im not sure what to say as sorry is insulting in my prospective, my son suffered so long from the age of 4 with mental health and was the yougest of 5 siblings …i banged on doors for many of years and was his voice to which was all in vain …i lost him in 2021 at the age of 21 ,i cant look at pictures,visit his grave or pick a headstone(i feel so bad about this tho i know its my tombstone too as i will be burried with him one day ) i cant talk about what happened im completely switched off in this world and totally heartbroken beyond consoling
I requested his medical records wanting to see a month prior around his care treatment before his demise to see if he had the care and support he desperately needed and although professionals stated i would get them as i was his carer
i was soon denied…tried local M.P Richard Lochhead he too was denied
Went to a significant adverse review which was horrific as all they kept asking was how and when he obtained the materials he got to end his life…when i asked for a copy of their conclusion of review …again they denied me any information and i was there purley to help thieir failures and improve thier services …still no answers …i feel i have no other option than local media or social media naming names as my boy was failed without a doubt and i have evidence …im disgusted he was my beautiful baby boy no drink or drug abuse ever! just very poorly
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Was there not an inquest. I would certainly look at seeing if you can get a solicitor.
Good media coverage may help eg the Guardian.
Getting the truth is not easy all the health services try to hide their failures.
It’s torture on us especially when we are already grieving and having to fight system again.
Xx
I have a friend whose son was suffering from mental health problems. He ended up in A&E, was ‘assessed’ and sent home on his own, where he sadly ended his life. If his mother had known, she could have gone straight to the hospital, , scooped him up and looked after him. But she did not get that chance. I think the rules of confidentiality need looking at again in these situations.
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Hello
So sorry for your losses I totally agree about confidentiality and contacting family both my sons would still be here if the had contacted us
Im not just a grieving mother i also want answers and i know when im being fobbed off from authority from being told he didnt make a 999 call (to which i have proof from his phone) to being told he never presented himself at A&E prior the week to his demise (again i have proof) these big wigs to which we put our faith in to take care of our children when out of our parental knowledge to understand and in hope to make them better for us to understand let not just us down but more importantly their patience OUR CHILDREN they need to take responsibility for failures too! A diploma in your area of expertise should help and aid the prevention of suicide right?
You should not turn a blind eye? it doesnt give you a pass to aid or commit a suicide if proven otherwise you should face consequences of criminal charges! To which in my sons case is 100% failer and cover up …time to name and shame these so called professionals …who by rhe way have told me i can have his medical records…then denoed…significant adverse review…told again i would get a copy so i went …got denied again…if nothing to hide SHOW ME
I lost my son 17 days ago. I found him and I was unable to save him. The pain is unbearable and I cannot get the image of him from my mind.
Everyone tells me it will get better.
It will never ever get better till I die. Then I can be with him. He was my one true love.
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Michelle, I am so sorry to hear what’s happened to your boy and to you. It really is beyond tragic and no words can express how you must be feeling. You will find others on here who have also experienced loss of their child by suicide. Right now you are experiencing absolute shock, trauma, grief and despair. Don’t expect too much of yourself too soon. Just keep on keeping on for now. Take it a day or an hour at a time. You can come on here 24 hours a day and there’s plenty of people who really ‘get it’ cos it’s happened to them. Sending love xxxxx
Michelle I’m so sorry. I lost my son on the 30th November 2021 I will never get over losing him but you do live with it. My thoughts are with you no parent should go through this pain xx
Thank you Neil, for getting in touch and your kind words. I don’t know how I’m supposed to go on without him.
Hi Rachel, I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your son. It’s the most awful thing that can happen to a mother. I wish I could rewind time and have him back with me. He was my world.
He was my world to. He’d been living back home with me after he split from his partner of 12 years. He never got over not being there everyday with his children. I just wish they knew how many people loved them. My life will never be the same I keep going for my youngest daughter. For a long time I hated how people carried on living whilst I was dying inside. Last year I organised a charity event in Robert’s memory for Papyrus a suicide support group and I’m arranging another one this year just to keep his memory alive and let people know it can happen to any family.
Hi Rachel,
I feel exactly the same as you. It’s really nice of you to get in touch and share your experience. I would be dead too if I didn’t have two other children to live for.
In time I would like to fundraiser and raise awareness in the community. In Liams case the mental health let him down. He had severe OCD and had been waiting for treatment for over 4 years. Passed from pillar to post
What he needed was inpatient care at the National OCD unit which is the only one in the country that has 24 hour care. However they only have 10 beds. He had no hope no chance of ever living his life.
Sending my love and thoughts to you xxxx