It is hard going isn’t it life changing xx
it cetainly is
pat
We always watched the golf open together. I loved to watch the golf but didn’t like to play. Well couldn’t. My hand eye coordination is crap. H was a good golfer since the age of nine. He loved it but lost the grip in his hand and could no longer play. I think a little light went out in him. But I can’t watch the golf yet I get too upset x
I miss being us it was Carole’s birthday today she would have been 62. So me and the girls went to faro for a long weekend something Carole I always did go away for her birthday it was so hard not having her there going for walks holding hands and giving her hugs not that it not hard any other time but we always tried to do something special.
So like many others on here this is her first birthday since she died 7 months now.
I’ve had the first Christmas ,my birthday, valentines day and now her birthday all of them hard but today was extremely hard and now I’m back at home alone 
feeling sad for myself.
I miss being us in so many ways miss been told off for getting angry when doing something stupid (made me laugh) miss her at the allotment telling me what to do (she was the gardener I did the digging) just talking, asking how her day was when she came home from work as she did untill the last 6 months of her life .
I’ll sign off now as it’s making me sad to think of all we’ve lost in that fine loving wife and mother.
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Iwas reading the posts and read about not doing the things you did together I.e. watching football cricket etc and other tv shows we watched together I feel the same I haven’t watched anything we watched as a couple and don’t know how to get past this apart from taking every day one day at a time. I have no answers only questions everyone stay safe and well
John
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Hi John
i used to the cricket we always watched it together and the foot ball but i just cant watch it at all now no interest at all just not the same as one
same as he loved having a bet on the horse racing and we always picked a horse each in the races he bet on but couldnt even watch it now its something i wont go to either now but always enjoyed a day out at the races and taking a picnic
and never go to greece because i always classed it as our holidays and could never face it as just me
pat
I feel your pain every thing is hard when we have lost our partner love of our life I don’t see a future with out them our memories can never be taken but sad that we can not have many more with them x
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Yeah it was strange going to Portugal with only the girls apparently the next is to go somewhere myself but it will take a while for me to do that. We also used to bet on football I still do with no real interest it just a habit . We used to do super 6 one of my daughters do it now but not the same.
It’s a terrible place to be.
John
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I feel everybody’s pain as apart from Cricket ( Scottish thing) we did football bets watching footie and all the lovely holidays what terrible pain this is as although I am 6 years on I still hold all these memories close to my heart. Just have to March in but it’s a sadness and a loneliness and yearning that never leaves you. Thinking of you all.
Lynda
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So sorry you ate going through all of this it’s so hard. Neil was into his music massively, played his guitar everyday. I can’t listen to any of the groups he liked not yet. I am dreading his birthday next month he would of been 50 we had so many plans to celebrate we were going to go to Port Merrion. People keep saying I should go but I just can’t what’s the point if he isn’t going to be there. Take care x
I understand what you mean, I do listen to music now but certain songs I have to turn off or skip because the memories are so vivid and painful. The same with tv and films, my husband was a great film fan, now I tend to watch things he didn’t particularly like or never saw, but avoid our favourite ones. It’s my husbands birthday next month too, he would have been 49, I’m also dreading it. I have been through my birthday, our wedding anniversary and Christmas, we didn’t celebrate valentines, but rather our first date which was on the 18th of feb.Our daughters 18th earlier in the month, next is his birthday then Fathers Day which will be awful for our kids then finally our sons birthday in July, that will be all the ‘first’ although I’m expecting all the subsequent ones to be just as painful x
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It’s so hard isn’t it. Yes I find myself watching things we didn’t watch together as well. I’ve had my first Christmas, Valentines. I have my birthday, our anniversary and the day we met to come. Not looking forward to any of them xx
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I’ve just completed my firsts of everything, but I’m in no doubt that there will be more firsts that were just personal to Quentin and myself. I hate every minute of it. It doesn’t get easier you just have to try to adapt which is a massive deal.
Life is rubbish, I’m about to get to the 1st anniversary of Quentin 's passing and I’m really really struggling,
People tell me it’s time to move on but I’m still stuck on the same day he passed. Can’t see how I’m going to get past it.
Sorry for rambling but it’s just how I’m feeling at the moment xx
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Hi Shazz
you ramble all you like and even angry if you like no one has the rights to tell you when its time to move on
they dont know how it feels to lose some one and its very hard to become one instead of two
all you do is cope everyday with the loss and the knowing you are on your own
you never get over it you just learn to live with it
take care pat
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So sorry Shazz.
Those people who are telling you to move on have no idea what they’re talking about. It’s a massive deal and so difficult to come to terms with.
As Pat so rightly says, we never get over it, just learn to live with it.
I do hope you have some support from family or friends.
Sending you strength
Janey x
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Thank you all, it helps to know other people understand how I feel 
xx
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Well I just wanted to write how I’m feeling I know on here people understand as you are going through the loss I really struggling today life is rubbish it is coming up to the 1st anniversary of loss of my husband how have I hit this far is crazy how do I get through weeks years ahead it is awful no one I feel comfortable to speak to they think I should be over it now I miss him so much nothing is the same I loved him so much it was so sudden I seem to be going backwards don’t want to be here with out my love one just no one understands the lonely ness that we find ourselves with just needed to get it off my chest hope some off you are having a ok day
Take care xx
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Hi I know exactly how you feel what is the point of all this heartbreak it getting worst each day . Why has this happened to us . How long do we have to endure this till we are with our loved ones again . I wish I had the answers but even more I wish hubby was here with me . Take care x
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It’s the anniversary of my husband having his cardiac arrest tomorrow. I don’t know how I will cope. It brings back a normal day turning into a nightmare in seconds. The disbelief The CPR. The ambulance and the waiting. The begging and pleading that he would be okay. Then the never ending tears. The sadness is all around me It’s palpable
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Dear Rose,
I’m so sorry for you, I’m feeling the same, it’s 18 weeks for me and I also feel like I’m going backwards.
Initially people were very supportive but I feel already that they are sick of me and I’ve been told I need move forward but I wish it was that easy.
I went through Petes beside cabinet this afternoon and cleared it out, it’s just so hard, I was in floods of tears.
This is the only place I feel comfortable enough to say what I feel.
I do think that having that true love is quite a rare thing and wonder if thats why some people don’t understand how devastating it is especially when it happens so suddenly.
Pete was very fit with no health issues and had a massive heart attack completely out of the blue.
Sending you a hug
Muldool
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