How right you are I live my family and feel lucky to have them they have lost there dad and grandad they have there family and future ahead of them they don’t realise how hard it is for us getting used to this life that we did not ask for only feeling half a person it’s hard and we are trying hard to manage it for them it’s hard going and a very lonely journey
Hope we find the strength but it’s night time and have no strength xxx
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You’re right, they don’t have any idea of how hard it is when you lose half of yourself and half of your life in every way. I hate night times too, i just want to get through the day and the night so I can go to bed.
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i feel the same no one knows how lonely it is when you have lost your husband/wife till it happens to them
your family can only be there some of the time and with them having their family and still being a couple never really get the grasp of what it feels like to sit on your own day and night without someone to come home to or speak to
i have never gone around speaking to myself so much in my life as i do now think my dog thinks im going crazy
stick to my routine that i had before so i can keep track of what day it is
longerdays are helping more now so not so much darkness
helps me get out more with my dog and all the markets are comeing back not as good as before but still some where to go
keep plodding along and look after self
pat
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Today it’s much harder to keep the resolve as I feel so weak and broken. I’ve dreamt about Keith and it’s like he has just died all over again. It feels as raw as it did that terrible day 22 weeks ago
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I feel the same as you. The pain is unbelievable. I physically ache for my Derek. Last night I went out to a leaving do. First time in three years and without my Derek who would have laughed because I would be up dancing so much, he would tell me I looked lovely and kiss me. Last night there were couples all around and it hammered it home. We were together 49 years and married 48. How can I exist without him. When I got home I couldn’t sleep and put my thoughts on paper:
I loved that man, he was my hope and my delight
but
He died, and then the sun went out
My days are grey now and I have no love and laughter
because
He died and then the sun went out
I try to get my footsteps on a path which leads me somewhere into light
but
He died and then the sun went
My heart is aching, I long for him so much
but
He died and now the sun is out
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Beautiful words x I feel exactly the samex take care x big hug x
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i think you have just put everyones thoughts and feelings into words
take care
pat
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This is beautiful xxx
Looking for Hope.
I too went out last night to a Motown night. It was a great night and I danced with my friends and had too much to drink. I managed not to think about my Ron.
When I got home I went to sleep straightaway but woke early and suddenly that awful depression set it. I realised I will never get over this feeling of being half a person. I have sat around all day and done nothing even though I have all my shopping to do.
No matter what we do, or how we feel on a good day it always comes vaccine, this truth that we can’t ignore. That we are alone. Xx
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sorry for typis. Hope you can read message OK.
Thank you so much. You too xx
Looking for hope such true words some of you on here are so good at putting your feelings into words I read them and feel the same I find myself coming in here to see how all you are copping with the day it helps to know that I am not alone in the same feelings it is horrible for us it’s so very hard going places as a single person I avoid it most time as it’s so upsetting another Saturday hard sitting in alone we used to live snuggling up watching a film speak latter xxx
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Oh Rose45 thank you so much for your kind words. I’ve just had another sad Saturday too - sort of frozen and not really doing anything I should be. I’m not great with technology but if you ever need to reach out - I’m here, my dear fellow traveller on this lonely road. You take care xx
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Beautiful words, sums up my feelings exactly, I’m starting 2 weeks of annual leave but don’t know what to do with myself as my husband used to take his holidays at the same time and we would have days out or binge watch box sets, but now the next two weeks will be very lonely.
Shazz9. I know how hard it is when we have time on our hands. The hours stretch ahead, yet even when I fill them doing “stuff” I still can’t enjoy it because he is not there, and my heart is so heavy. At least we know we are not alone, that other kind, lovely people out there truly understand. I know I will find happiness again, but I would like to find some peace, find a time when memories don’t cut like ice. It is so hard xx
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Oh it is so hard especially when you have annual leave I hear people planning holidays and days out I don’t have things to plan any more or things to look forward to I was thinking today would we have booked up a holiday to go off in our camper van we liked to do that now nothing I miss him so much
It’s so sad to think of you all in this sad place with out our soulmate but know we are not alone thanks for all your kind words and sharing your messages all so sad that we are in so much pain
Hope you can sleep missing my cuddle I always have cold feet he was always warm xxx
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Dear Lookingforhope
Thank you for your friendly words it helps to speak to you as we feel the same came only hope that you have a better Sunday I keep busy sort off van not do much in the house as if I tidy cupboards I know I will find thinks of my husbands and get upset can not part with any thing or move any of his belongings they will stay where they are I just was not ready to be in this position he was taken too soon
Take care xxx
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Hi Rose
my husband used to love nothing more than looking for days ,weekends or weeks away for us as we were both retired it used to give him something to do that he enjoyed remember the times hed be looking at holidays on the internet find one book it and we would be off a few days later once he seen one booked it and we were off 4 hours later how i packed so quick i dont know without forgetting something its lovely memories to think about but sad those days are gone now
its hard when you think about it i just keep myself as busy as possible so when i get to bed im so tired i usuall drop off straight away for about 3/4 hours then wake up
take care
pat
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Yes we have memories that I am thankful for I went out for a eight mile walk like you said so I am shattered and hopefully full asleep it does not always follow my family tell
Me I should get a dog but I’m not ready for that commitment not sure what my life in future will be we was both retired took early retirement glad we did had six years but he never reached his pension age died 5 months before we was looking forward to getting it now I don’t get any of it either so unfair paid all those years life is so unfair take care xxx
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It is hard, but it’s good to know that we’re not alone and chatting on here helps.
Sending love and hugs to everyone xx