Thank you Barbara yes I thought of you being in the situation of caring for Mark and benefits its really not fair is it they all just pull the rug away so to speak and leave you to sort everything whilst you have just lost your partner its unbelievable really in this day and age the psychological trauma of it all you feel like your heads about to explode
Take care Barbara
Suzanne x
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My husband was also a paramedic and I was and always will be so proud of him. There were so many ambulance staff at his funeral in November all in their green uniforms. I was dozing in front of the tv last night and thought he had touched me to wake me up . He would always say âTaylor, you were falling asleepâ I really felt he was there and had said it. Iâve had sinusitis recently and being unwell but having to carry on doing everything even when I donât feel up to it is hard.
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I wasnât sure where to post this, but I Miss being Us probably fits.
Last night scrolling through my phone, I had a pop-up - your Google Timeline.
Oh my, did I cry and shout. Every journey weâve done since 2016 was there in the history. Every day and every time I arrived at work, every visit to my elderly late Mum & Dads house, every single holiday Uk & overseas my husband and I went on. Every route we took. Every restaurant we were in. Every B&Q visit every garage for our MOTs. Every run in our wee convertible.
In one way painful but there was so many things I canât remember, no one to remind me and this filled in so many blanks. And it also linked to the photos in my gallery.
I now have a journal of our last years together.
Bittersweet indeed.
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I feel like that too, itâs only been 6 weeks but itâs so bad the pain as Iâve lost my anchor /my world. I feel so bad crying all the time whilst itâs not helping my daughter & her husband, but they have each & will cope. I feel so lost & lonely. Iâm just not coping with my love not being here & you canât do anything about it.
Bless u my heart goes out to you. Xxx
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Am so sorry for your loss, Neil was my anchor too . But you cry when ever you want or need too. Nearly 4 months for me. I wont say it gets easier because it doesnât you slowly learn to live with the pain. You may go for a few days and think your doing well then it hits you all over again. My advice is let I found holding things in doesnât help at all. The loneliness is the worst of all I hate being a me not an us anymore. Take care love to you xx
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Bless u for you kindness xxx
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sorry about your loss 6 weeks is early in your grief yet and you will cry but crying is all the process of grieving i had days at that stage of having days i couldnt stop crying its expected and when you need to cry just cry without feeling bad about it and you will feel lonely even if there was a hundred people around you
i am 6 months into my loss of my husband of being together 56years married for nearly 54 and i still have bad days where i can still cry for the least thing and still feel lost and lonely
do what you feel is right for you and dont hold the tears back just let them flow
take one day at a time with baby steps and keep posting it does really help to know so many people on here understand how you feel
take care
pat
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Thank you for your words xxx
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i know what you mean
some things are hard not to keep doing its a routine that you get used to doing 2 of everything and its so hard to remember its one now
when i talk to people i still forget and say we instead of me
but i still class myself as mrs and think i always will
pat
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I feel that exactly too, loved being part of a team, definitely a Mrs, hate the term âwidowâ. I will always wear my wedding ring. Shopping for one is so painful, it makes me cry everytime. Xxx
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I feel the same I hate it this single life I will always wear my wedding ring come hard as people think you have a husband but I have just apart now how long for I hope not long as itâs too painful Iâm weak with out him Brocken people think you will get better well I want itâs not like a stomach ache is it can never be better how can it be lost best part in life another day to cope alone with out him I struggling xx
HI Rose
i am the same will never take my wedding ring off i am still mrs and always will be i am only a widow on paper they may not be with us any more in body but still with us in soul and i still talk to him and constantly think of him i have his watch i n my bag so like as if i have a part of him everywhere i go people that have never lost a husband/wife dont understand and think we are crazy but they can think as they like we are the only ones who know what it feels like by loosing half of you and feeling so empty and lost
take care
pat
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Morning Looby thanks for reply yes people think we crazy as you say they do not understand
Hope you manage to have a ok day take care xx
Every morning it refreshes everything only 6 & a half weeks pain is intense any tips on easing the memories that flood in every morning so you canât even function & then it taints your day. Trying so hard to focus on the present moment but itâs not happening. Not sleeping even with sleeping tablets. Xxx
Couldnât agree more, cant bring myself to say My or Mine, when I used to say our or ours, it really hurts me not to say our or ours, its been 2 months since I lost my wife, it was suggested that I have a photo of my wife and to talk to her that way, which perhaps on a good day it may help and little, but on a bad day theirs no replacement at all, I just want my wife back to our life we had. Take Care.
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Itâs been 25 weeks since my husband passed away and pain of grief is worse than ever,still not sleeping well,I hate mornings find it hard to get out of bed just lie here thinking of my husband I have no motivation for anything
Iâm struggling with this awful new life alone miss him so much canât imagine it ever getting easier Itâs so hard for us all never imagined this happening
Take care
Christine x
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Hi Christine. I too struggle every morning. I donât think I would go out if it wasnât for smudge needing his walk. Heâs there every morning licking my face waking me up at six o clock. I sleep but only with pills. I still wake up every morning feeling scared and face another day. I talked to a man in the park. There was a sleeper there today and I wonder what his story is. I wish I could wake up not feeling scared and face the day with a smile but this on our own life feels so alien and I think that is a long way off. If we were closer we could all go for coffee and chat x
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Morning to Mickeyboy and other friends who have not been on for a while. Thatâs the only thing about the site. If we donât hear from people for a while they could have managed to start a new life Decided not to post or died and we just wouldnât know. How sad is that x
I am 6 years passed in February. The pain can be so intense but and I still wear my wedding rings and always will. I talk to my husband and also write in a journal and it makes me feel closer to him. When sending birthday/Christmas cards to my adul children I always put from Mum and Spiritually Dad. I think k the only way to deal with the pain is to speak of them when you can and incorporate (my hubbyâs name) (John) into the conversations and you still feel them near. There is no miracle to take the pain away itâs something we have to live withâŚThinking of everybody at this moment who is feeling lonely and missing their loved one. X
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These are all my feelings exactly finding it hard to function I know I have a long way to go as my husband died only 6 & a half weeks ago, but everyone I know is getting tired of my depressed state. I just canât rise up in any way. I feel like Iâm on a different planet Itâs so awful.
Xxx love to you all in your pain.
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