That is just like me everything you say, my neighbours are a load of shit apart from one old man nexct door at no 10 why does ALL the GOOD people go first? a lot of people say that over the years all the old buggars are still here it is most annoying never catch a cold or anything how do there do it c
Hello
I do that with the pillows just makes the bed feel full
I no there a empty place but the pillows do the trick
Xx
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Hi Toppy, That sounds like something I could try. I’ll let you know when I’m ready and have given it a go.
I really do want to be back in there and feel sad at not being, as if I have somehow deserted him. Xxxx Love and hugs xxx
Hi Debbie, yes I really feel it helps me. I do the pillows at 6pm as my hubby always went to bed a bit before me and when I go to bed now with the hump of the pillows there it looks like he’s laying there. Call me daft but psychologically it helps me. Xx
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It as help me to hope it helps a few more people
Going thru this heart break xx
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Hi Jacko
What I’ve learnt in the 23 wks is everything needs to be done in your time. Forget everyone else, it’s whatever makes you feel better and can cope with this massive loss we’ve all had. When you feel you could try it, that’s the right time for you. Yes please keep in touch, let me know if it helps. Xx
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Hi to you all…I actually dont want to come on here…but I get a tex to say someone has replied…that’s the only tex I get…living on my own…no children …one elderly 85 aunt left…the only time I feel normal with how I feel is when I come on here…I’m sorry for everyone who feels like me…I wouldnt wish this pain on anyone. Today I’ve had the worst…I cant listen even to the radio…to many songs break me…and as for alexa…well I’ve called her or the names under the sun!..no one …neighbours…friends you thought would be there…as for family…mine is one left …at 62 ive realised in a year…you come into this life and leave …on your own…so sorry for a negative post but it’s the truth…at the end of the day your on your own xx love to you all who feel like me…
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Ps…I bought my Steve’s pillow out of the hospice and slept cuddled up to it…till his smell went and now I dont sleep for more than 3hrs a night…c.i wont go to doctors n wont go on antidepressants…can anyone help me with sleeping…I dread going to bed …
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Hi @Iloveharvey1
I have spoken to doctors and agreed that antidepressants/sleeping tablets are not the right route for me.
I have started to use a hot water bottle. The bed is not as cold and can get into the space next to me with a little bit of warmth. Sleep pattern still not great but I manage to get one or two hours more than before.
Sheila
Sheila…thankyou for getting back to me…il order one on line as due to this lockdown I dont go out…il try anything many thanks stay safe x
Yes please take care and stay safe. xx
Yes Toppy I’m finding you have to do things at your own pace. I try to do something everyday, even if its just something tedious and try to go out for an hour.
Some days I start with good intentions, then sit in my pyjamas, look at my phone, or watch T.V. and then wonder where the day has gone, because I just don’t have the motivation .
Starting to accept from reading other posts that it is OK to do that, sometimes its what we need. Xxxx Love and hugs
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Today was the first day I fidnt get dressed till the afternoon…due to what my darling husband went through I feel bed is for sick people…a year on today such a wet one I couldnt take my little dog out…I said to my self…its ok not to be that person you once where…sad but true… I’m like everyone to hard on myself…this pain is never going to leave …xx
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So so sorry for your loss. My experience is very similar I lost my partner 12 weeks ago and was his full time carer. I feel exactly as you have described and every room I go into am faced with medications, aids etc… He died after contracting COVID in hospital and was 50 I’ve just turned 52 and am too am asking myself what now.
Here if you need to talk 
Me too. This Saturday evening instead of a cosy film night with my husband like i used to, i shared a full size (why did I buy that when I’m alone?!) quiche with my cat, cried until I nearly puked. I’ve got horrendous abdominal pain again brought on by crying/stress. I miss my husband so much… wish he was here. I’m not good at this, how do people do it. millions of them (billions over time).
Hello
I can’t do it either I am in bed most nights at 5
Can’t stand sitting in living room
I miss Andy so much always sobbing 
Take care xx
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Yes Jacko I’m like that lost my motivation, like you wonder where the days have gone. It’s such a difficult thing. Like lick down is keeping in us the place we were in with our loved one and they’re not there anymore, compounding the fact, that’s why I go for a walk every day too x
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I’m not good at it either just miss him so much . So glad I found this site and others who know exactly what it feels like.
Take care x
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I don’t know but somehow they’ve got through, and we will too cos we have to. I’m like you I miss b Ian so much it physically hurts me. Every night I pray I’ll dream of him. Just to be in his company, even if only in my dreams. I cry every night when I go to bed and odd times through the day when the tsunami waves of grief hit me again. They say times an healer but I lost my Ian 23wks ago yesterday and its getting worse as time goes on, if that’s possible.
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12 weeks for me and I feel it’s getting worse.
Take care
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