Yes I can’t see it getting easier to be honest. My counsellor assures me I won’t always feel like this. I don’t know how my feelings are going to change. People keep telling me I’m a strong person, but Ian was my strength, and now he’s gone. I don’t feel strong. Brake care x
Dear Toppy
My husband called Ian also. Just over 20 weeks since he was killed in a motorbike crash. Still dealing with the police, no date for inquest. The days are getting worse. I feel as if I am in a soap-opera. Police answering his phone the sending a car to dash me to the hospital where he had been taken by helicopter only for doctors to come in after a short while and say he had not survived. Earlier in the year we had welcomed our first grandchild - Ian worshipped him. He had spent the day before at our house and I have a clip of him and Ian. It just breaks my heart. Cannot see how I will get through this. I put on a brave smile for our little grandson and my children but inside I am empty and heartbroken.
Hopefully others on this site - whose journey is further on - will be able to offer some hope.
9 weeks for me and it is getting worse
1 Like
Hi, I think from all that we read on here, people don’t do it or get over it. I think we just didn’t realise what others were going through until it happened to us. And now others don’t realise what we are going through.
We r all too good at putting on a brave face instead of saying how we really feel. And so it carries on, no-one understanding until they have to go through it themselves. Very sad. Xxxx
2 Likes
Hi to you all…I no your like me in bed …crying…lost…il reach out to you all as noone around me gets it… why are couples in this lockdown complaining about life?? I’d give anything to be locked down with my loveley steve…my best friend in the world…why do they take good people…I’m so full of anger it scares me…I dont get this life anymore…seen so much cancer in my family list everyone …but when you lose the main person …your best friend…you’ve lost everything …love to you all xx
2 Likes
I just want to reach out to you all…wish we could meet up and say what’s in our heads …but we cant and we are all going thru this…I dont no what else to say…except I’m crying as usual but I’m sad for everyone who’s had to come on here xx
1 Like
well put it is 2.34 am and got up can not sleep again this life is awfull it is happening now more often what can one do tablets?
1 Like
No…no tablets I refuse to go down that line…doctors wouldnt give me them when I was up caring for my husband so why would I take them…or be given them now…I hardly sleep and I get up as our dog makes me…its all so hard no rules …but no sleep is wrecking me…just gone 3…says it all your not alone…ann
Hi, I was like that I couldn’t sleep. A friend told me about a tablet you can get over counter which is a strong antihistamine. I bought a box, took 2 and I had a much better night sleep. I asked Dr for them on prescription as they were not cheap 8. 00 for 8 tablets. Now I dont take them every night only when I feel really tired and haven’t slept for say 4 nights. Things are worse when you’re so tired too. Sleep is so important. X
Hi. I’ve just lost my husband four days ago after a traumatic death at home. I find I’m lucky to get two hours sleep a night. I can’t drop off in the day as my mind is consumed with his death
Hello Wendy, my sincere condolences on your loss. I lost my hubby 23wks ago suddenly and unexpected. Firstly, can I say how brave you are and how strong you are to reach out so soon after your loss. You might not feel strong, but believe me, you are. I couldn’t have done this so soon. I can totally relate to your non sleeping. I was the same. My friend told me about a tablet you can buy over the counter and it helped so I asked my Dr for them and turns out they’re a strong antihistamine. They work though and when I take those I sleep for a solid 4hrs which really helps when your getting nothing. Middle of the night is worst for me going over and over things in my mind. You feel as though you’re the only one awake. Horrible so I do sympathise. Xx
Trying 2 sleep is hard.lying awake all night.
Try Kalms they don’t interfere with other tablets
Hello Sheila I’m so sorry for your loss. What a terrible shock, and such an emotional roller coaster you were on. That clip of Ian with your grandson is soooo precious, how lucky you are to have that to look upon. I treasure my videos of Ian. When I get really low, which I’ll be honest is daily, I think and count my blessings I still have. A roof over my head, food in my tummy, I can pay the bills and I have my health. At least I don’t have those worries. You have your children and. Grandson which are massive blessings for you, you have a bit of Ian living on in them. I have no family left as I lost my beloved mom a couple of years ago. My friends are, I’m afraid, showing their true colours, which has disappointed me, but to be honest, they’re the last of my worries. I miss Ian so much, it physically hurts me. I really don’t know how we’re supposed to live without them, but some how we get through each day. I know what you mean about putting on a brave face. I do. And it’s exhausting. It’s ians birthday tomorrow he would have been 55. I’m dreading the day… I keep telling myself you got through Xmas and new year, you can do this. Take care my lovely, keep in touch xx
Hello
I don’t know how we will get thru this
I miss Andy so much
Be thinking about you tomorrow
Andy birthday is Thursday he would off been 58
Please take care xx
1 Like
Thank you for your reply. I see you were with your husband a long time. It’s such an unbelievable thing losing them isn’t it. I just walked my dogs and that makes me cry. I found footage on our cctv camera from the garden 12 hours before his death. It was so hard to look at it . I found a couple of videos on his phone and in one is just says , hello Wendy. I play it over and over. Who knows how we are to get through such a terrible loss
Dear Toppy
Will be thinking of you tomorrow.
Sheila
Hi Sheila
Thank.you. X
Don’t add guilt to your grief
I have plenty of guilt and regret
Hi Debbie
Well, I got through Monday. I kept trying to think of happy times. Holidays and parties we’d been to, fancy dress etc. I’d be lying if I said it worked. Many tears that day. It’s so difficult. I’m thinking about you and you are in my prayers. I must say though, God doesn’t seem to listen to me when it comes to praying for people. I prayed so hard for Ian not to die and those prayers fell on deaf ears. I can’t make any sense of why a good man had to die. I feel guilty for still being here and he isn’t. I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow. Take care x