I feel that exact same, i have family here a s know they will e leaving soon and the anxiety is taking over. Sending hugs xx
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Yep I worked last Christmas and I would of probably got Christmas Day off this year , as it is I am off whole of Xmas now so I can go away to my home town of Liverpool we only had two Christmas were he could get me a Christmas card with “wife “ on it , together 24 years , and in September 2022 we secretly “eloped “to Gretna Green and married over the anvil in the Blacksmiths just the two of us , I feel totally robbed after two previous crap marriages I only got 17 months as his wife x
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I can totally relate to that, i was with my husband for 9 or 10 years and we eventually got married 2015 we only had 1 anniversary as 2017 in the jan he dropped down dead in front of me and my husband. Almost 4 year ago i met my partner and he had trouble feom his past he coulsnt get over and moved up here to be with me and now hes gone. 1 failed marriage and 1 failed long relationship i find my man and he was taken then im lucky enough to find another amazing man who loved the bones of me but i obviously couldnt compete to what was in his head for him to leave me 
xx i hate life its my kids im trying to keep going for
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My sons father my ex husband was found dead in his flat this January , now he was an abusive nasty man ok he was only 56 but still it was a relief for me , but for my son it still was his Dad , and then 3 months later April my lovely husband took a heart attack at my feet in our living room , so my son lost his Father and Step Dad within 3 months ! My Nick had brought my son up since he was 5 he is 28 now , and my son said to me , how much he missed nick and how sad he felt , he said was this the way he should of felt when his own Dad died ! Life is shite , why do some people sail through it with no troubles and others seem to get more than than their fare share ? X
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I dont know the answer to that I was with my sons dad 19 yrs he slept with prostertuttes gambled told me i wasnt good enough he met a women onbthe internet and pissed off without a word in 2000 other than a text message to say he want coming back.i then met and married my first husband but lost him to a dvt in 2005 he was only 36, i then met zGra in a widows and widowers chat room on aol. He had lost his wife we married in 2008 and then he died june 26th fathers day this year. I keep thinking what did i do that was so bad that 2 men i loved and they loved me i have list but pardon the french bastards like my ex nothing happens. Lifes so cruel. Xxx
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Thats what i ask every day, why us when there is world of horrible people out there. You and your son have been through so much heart ache, i keep asking what the hell have i done to be going throigh this again, im trying not to over think with what my partner done, i do start and then try and shake it out my head. Cant stand this waiting on funeral, waiting on everything the police have that my son needs to start looking in to, doing my head in xx
Oh my you have suffered greatly, an old saying is you dont know what goes on behind closed doors and they are such true words. I had 2 arse holes then had 2 great amazing men and they were snatched from me but the 2 ass holes are still breathing,im not wishing them harm but too me its unfair,i was obviously not meant to be happy,one thing for sure as time passes i will never be with anyone again ,i will stay by myself , i have my kids and grand kids and that is all i will need until its my turn to pass on and hopefully meet my 2 special stars up in heaven xx
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I wont say never , at the minute its the last thing on my mind , but no e of us know what the future holds. Xx
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True but personally i couldnt put myself in the position of going through this pain again, plus im 60 now and i work alot and dont socialise xx
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I am 59 and dont socialise at all , i dont work as I suffer from agrophobia. Xxx
Im so sorry you suffer from that must be awful for you, have you always had it or sibce you lost your husband xx
I have had it for 40 yrs since i had my son. It started with postnatal depression. Its hard truly hard . Xxx
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Oh my such a long time and i cant imagine what it must have been to loose your child. You seem to be a very strong lady xx
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Miamoo i didnt lose my child it started after i had him. Xxxc
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Omg i am so sorry i miss read that , i truly apologies for that. I understand now. How do you manage your day to day life x
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Aww bless you dont worry an innocent mistake. 
i struggle family dont seem to care and i have no close friends. Shopping is done on line. Xxxx
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Do you know i have never done food shopping online but going to have to look in to it as my kids have been great especially my oldest son as he has been organising funeral and everything with police and i need to lighten the load , they all work and it makes me feel bad im sitting doing nothing x
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Last night i had the most wired dream, it went like this …a fortune teller told me i was going to come into a substantial amout of money meet a man ?!! No chance , travel the world take up water sports surfing etc and be happy again , carnt understand why i would dream this could do with substantial amout of money , no intentions of moving on couldnt ive only ever been with my husband and no
One could come close to filling his shoes ,
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Strange what we dream, i had 1 vivid dream after my late husband passed, i dreamt i was with him but didnt know where i can remember the tears at being with him and then his brother was there and i kept saying look he is here he isnt dead and then i woke, johnny died on his brothers birthday x
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I have had quite a few dreams with my husband , where he walked in the house and told me they got it wrong he didn’t die , I told him but we had a funeral for you , and he said “I know and we need to sort it “ but he held my hand I could feel his fingers entwined in mine and he said “Can we just keep it to ourselves for a little bit that I am alive “ then I woke up ! 
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