Rose what a beautiful idea. I know the acknowledgments may be few and far between but you are doing something positive to the keep the memory of the love of your life alive. Thinking of you today and every Sunday as I know they are difficult for us and for identical reasons. Sending a big hug 
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Thank you so much @jody .
It felt special and it felt like a link with him.
So I shall do that again and post my message about my lovely husband in the morning.
Thinking of you and sending a very big hug,
Rose xx
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Yes same here , so glad I found this because you do feel like your the only one , and then you realise on here your not !
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To be blunt what choice do we have but to let time lessen the longing, need, the heartbreak and all thatās associated with grief, and just go on.
The choice Iāve felt, more at the actual beginning when she died, was to end it all because I really couldnāt see a way forward for me and the hurt was so intense that I felt I was dying anyway. But thereās a difference between wanting to end it all and doing it. I felt in the end Bridget would want me to go on to carry on with my loving family and friends. So I backed away from the edge.
Of course Iāll carry on with the deepest hope that the rawness, longing and sadness will get less. You can never win with grief because all those intense feelings keep me close to her somehow. Just got to carry on.
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Thank you for your wise words Dutchman. It is difficult to see a way forward but we know that they would want us to carry on. It also seems disrespectful to their memory if we donāt try. We know how much they would have wanted to live life to the full, had they been given the opportunity. However Iām finding the longing and need ever increasing as time passes on x
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I know exactly how you feel. I lost my husband to dementia and I didnāt cope at times as i lost my temper too oftenā¦ just couldnāt accept what I was seeing but he wasnāt too advanced but so confused and almost non verbal so it was difficult. I regret my lack of patience as i loved him dearly but he died two years ago. and ive never got the loss of him and canāt go to the places we used to go toā¦ the memories are too upsetting. i moved house to live nearer to my two sons but it hasnāt helped at allā¦ just made me miss him and all the familiar surroundings so Iām a bit of a mess. But sending you love and support.
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Hello @Pat91
Dementia is the pits. Not only does the PWD get confused but also displays bizarre behaviour and makes life very difficult for you both. In the end my wife refused to recognise me and just wanted āhimā around the house. I just couldnāt help or care for her in the end. She lasted 4 years in a care home and died last September.
I miss her every day. Obvious not the dementia but we had a relationship in the home and she was brilliantly looked after. I miss seeing her, touching and kissing her. Life is much reduced without her in the world.
I decided not to move and Iām glad I didnāt. My few friends are here and my daughterās not that far away.
I look at the photos of ā normalā Bridget and I long for that. She was my companion and friend.
Best wishes, Peter
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Thank you for replying. i think you did better than me with caring for your wife. He was at home and not bad enough for care but was quite incontinent at night too. But he had a mild heart condition which needed hospitalisation and just when he was due to come home he had a very bad fall in there and then went down with Covid which caused a phycotic delirium from which he never went back to his baseline and spent the last 16 weeks of his life in care unable to move and asleep most of the time. it was so dreadful to see him like it but his dementia journey was cut short after that but i grieve so much i will never feel whole again without him. family grieve too but they have their own lives and their own immediate family. How do any of us get through this.
Your question āhow do we get through this?ā is a difficult one to answer because I just donāt know. I have good and bad and neutral days. Days when I long for so her so much I can nearly imagine her opening the front door and calling out. Other days are okay but then something reminds me of her and Iām off crying.
Itās just a plod day after day after day. Iām assured it gets better but the hurt never goes away and I wouldnāt want it to because the hurt keeps me close
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For some itās the getting up in the morning when it hits them hard. For me itās the evening when Iām quiet and I look at photos of Bridget like itās a drug.
I canāt help it and it upsets me and I wonder why I do this to myself. I suppose itās wanting to be near her memory, to try to get close somehow.
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I have taken to sleeping on Colinās side of the bed because i canāt wake up in the morning to find his side empty. Iām losing it, arenāt i?
Not at all! Sounds like a good idea x
Everything is called grieving. Thereās no right or wrong. As long as youāre not hurting others then itās whatever gets you through the day.
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Iāve slept on my husbands side of the bed for the 3 months since he passed. Just feels like Iām closer to him on this side.
I may well have lost it also - but thatās ok with me 
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Yeah me too. I have the roofers coming in today. I bet Colin will be there being foreman as always. " Donāt do it like that mate, do it like this" he was definately a hands on man. I miss him so much. Work, which i am just about to leave for, is definitely helping my brain have a kind of coffee break. My sister Nancy, " the peculiar one" is such a support, i dont know what i would do without her. I hope you have someone hun. Hugs. Nicky
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I must admit, Brian has been a god send. I need to make sure that he is fed and watered so shops i have to go to. He sleeps with me now at night, doesnāt move, i think he knows and wants to stay with me.
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My cats have really helped me.
The cuddles from the older cat have been wonderful and comforting.
The vet had to examine the older one as I was really worried about him. She said he was grieving.
The younger one does not cuddle and will not sit on anyoneās lap.
The behaviour of both cats changed after my husband died.
They absolutely adored him and he them.
Sending hugs and love,
Rose xx
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Yes brian has been the same. He sonetimes you know, sits and stares into a particular corner of the lounge, i have been wondering what he is seeing, if anything but they do say, animals are very perceptive. I have been out and about with Colinās brother and his husband to Buxton and Matlock, places that me and Colin would go on the motorbike. It was very heart wrenching because it is the first time i have been to a place we would go to quite often. Feel very lonely now i am back at the house.
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What a handsome boy 
x