People really dont know what to do with us do they.
I had similar when I met Roger. I was the married barmaid that went off with a married customer. So all the women banned their husbands from talking to me. Because I was with Roger they thought I was a danger and would be off with their husbands (as if!).
I think they realised after a few years it wasn’t a fling, we were together for 42 years!
I found my soulmate and true love, maybe not the way it should have been but I’m thankful every day that we did, and I miss him terribly and always will
I was married when I met my Nick , but I was married to a controlling alcoholic wife beater who preferred to be with men ! But he made sure that everyone knew in”went off with another man “! Yes I did and so did he ! But not a man it was men ! Nick showed me the meaning of unconditional love , my ex husband was found dead in his flat in January I felt nothing ! But he was the father of my son ! My son found out he was a cocaine user ! Then 3 months later my lovely forever hubby had a sudden heart attack x
If ever you need to rant, this is the place to come. we will be here whenever you need us to be, and we won’t avoid you or change the subject or give advice. We will just listen and try to help with the mad thoughts that go through your head. If you want, we would love to hear about your partner whenever you are ready.
Aww, life sucks. I am so sorry to read your story. I am glad you found this place where we can bare our thoughts and share our pain.
Sending you the biggest hug. Xx
Hi @Jane15
I’m so sorry you had to endure an abusive marriage and so glad you found Nick.
I’m so sorry you had to lose him
My first husband was actually a good father and a good husband, I thought. It turned out he was already seeing someone and went on to have a number of affairs. He’s currently on his 3rd marriage. Each one got younger and we used to joke that he would meet the next one at the school gate .
I took all the blame for the break up and found out years later it wasn’t all me at all.
I don’t care about that now. Roger and I had 42 years together and I’m so glad we met. I will love and miss him forever
My Husband was called Graham we met after we both had lost previous partners. 19 years ago. We met on the Internet in a widows andcwidows chat room. He was 16 yrs oldercthan me. He was loving and caring and always put me first. Hexwas my carer as i suffer agoraphobia he made me smile when i never thought i would smile again. Now i am heartbroken it would have been our 17th wedding Anniversary on the 1st August. My daughter gets married on the 2nd and we where walking her down the aisle. I am dreading it. Xx
He sounds like a lovely man
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I know thevwedding will be really hard for you, but maybe you can do it for your daughter. Or maybe she will understand if you can’t
Well my strength has up and left for greener pastures. It is coming to a year on 21st July and i thought i was doing so well. "You are so strong " “You are the strongest of us all” have been the comments, well let me just put the record straight. He was my soul mate, my rock, my place to go to when the world got too much. Where the hell am i supposed to go to now. My insides are like the remnants of a shredder. The paper inside, thats me, all twisted and mashed together.Do you know something, it has gotten so bad, i have had to take his photos down because every damn day, i am remindered of who is not in my life anymore. Who has been taken from me without a bye or leave. I am sick of being strong of being the one to comfort people in THEIR sorrow. WHAT ABOUT MINE!!! What i am supposed to do now? How does one carry on.
I was afraid of death like most people…i am inviting it now, i dont care how it comes, to bloody get here. 365 days, 365 days since i touched that gorgeous man of mine, since i was held by him, this is not fair. This world is shit and i want to get off. NOW!!!
I think, well try to believe, that people are trying to be supportive when they say stupid things. They have not got the faintest idea about our world now. So probably said from a lack of knowledge and understanding.
I am not sure but could it be that you are coming up to a year that has had such an enormous impact on top of your existing grief?
I suggest that, as it will be my husband’s birthday next week and that is having such an impact.
I truly understand and wish I had the magical power to bring them back. For that is what we want but cannot have.
I’m so sorry for ranting on like that. I know i have just shouted on the screen and it does help, honest it does. I do have my goods days now and to be honest, they are good days, they are days when i can smile at a memory i have or a photo i come across which brings such good memories and i promise, you will have those days, its just the firsts of everything that grabs you by the balls (if we had them) and runs you through the ringer. This is the last of the firsts for me which in a weird way is another one more blow to deal with, But i promise the pain does… not go away but softens . I do find support, love and understanding when i reach out on this site. There is no one here that doesn’t know exactly what you are feeling and thinking. There is no one on here that judges you or questions your sanity. Come on, rant and rave, scream shout, swear. Lets get the truths out on here of exactly how you are feeling and release some of the stress, heartache anger and frustration and all the other feeling’s that seem to make you feel like you are going mad. I am listening xxxx
I am sick and tired of having to be the considerate one, the one making allowances for certain members of his family. Their behaviour has been selfish and unacceptable but I am expected to make allowances as ‘that’s the way they are’. Really?
Just to let you know that I have not always made allowances and said what I thought. That has not gone down well and I have been reminded in not so subtle ways that I have overstepped the line.
Bravo…you go girl. My filter has also flown the nest. Nothing is held back, nothing is kept in. I think we have enough on our plates without the added…“you can’t say that Nicky” well i can and i do. It does weedle out the friends from the acquaintances or the family members that say stupid things like…“in a few months, you might meet someone else and put this all behind you” honest, that’s what one FAMILY member shared with me…nice wasn’t it. god bless their stone hearts. Bend with the wind, try and dodge the bullets that are thrown your way sometimes on a daily basis and listen to you…listen and give yourself some attention. I know its hard…but you need to do it. My mum would be shaking her head if she saw me writing this. I should practice what I preach she would be saying god love her.
