Oh Christine ,your words make me cry,they are everything that is happening to me.I shouted for Judith yesterday and cried loads,hate this empty lonely life that has been left to us.Everyday is the same just trying to get through then go to bed try to sleep then do it all over again the next day.It is 6 weeks today for me.My world crashed down left me in ruins,my darling Judith had gone. Love to you all on here who are suffering today and every day.Michael.
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Hi Michael you can contact me anytime and anyone else I know what itâs like when you need to talk to someone desperately we are all alone on this horrible journey but talking on here and realising we are not alone . David
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I know Michael the good life we had with our loved ones has gone now,canât see beyond each cruel day,my heart is broken canât be mended,hugs to everyone suffering x
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Its Steveâs birthday tomorrow donât know how I will cope,first time not here in over 50yrs I feel sick thinking about it x
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Thank you very much David,I will take you up on that if I have a bad moment.Michael.
Yes I will be dreading those anniversaries when they come round again,we just had our silver wedding and Judith was 75 in July.I am 76 at present and completely overwhelmed with what has happened .So cruel to take our partners like that and leave us all in this terrible state.I am feeling so sick today,doubt if I will be able to eat anything.My stomach is all over the place,weird feeling inside.Cannot stop myself from thinking about her,just miss her so much,my life so empty now.Michael.
Michael, when Peter passed I hardly eat anything my stomach was all over the place itâs 17 weeks today and some of my appetite had come back but I hate having my tea sat at the table on my own I always cry having my tea and I know itâs strange but I feel embarrassed doing things on my own. David
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David
I feel the same 19 weeks tomorrow for me and mealtimes are a nightmare. Nobody to talk about your day to or discuss what to watch in tv. So lonely. Every day seems the same, I feel frightened all of the time , not a good feeling at all. Love to all in here Moira
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Hi
It is 17 months since I lost my husband. We were married 42 years. All I can say is this will be my second Christmas without him, I donât know how I have got through it, but I have improved when I think of how I felt initially. Last Christmas I dreaded and couldnât bear the thought of a Christmas without him. I got upset going shopping. This year, for the first time since I lost him I know I am coping slightly better.
So time and doing the first anniversaries are as bad as it gets. Not that your loneliness, hurt and loss ever leaves you, I have my memories. It gets more manageable I suppose. I read during my meals now when alone, it stops me thinking. X
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Yes I have started to eat small amounts but my stomach does not like it very much.I find I cry anytime during the day when my mind focuses on Judith.Michael.
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Well donât expect to much to soon Michael. You canât lose the most important person in your life and just carry on. I used to shed a lot of tears and still could really. Everything is such a challenge at first, even leaving the house or going to bed alone. I smile sometimes as in situations I know what my husband would have said. I keep busy so I donât have time to think but that seems to come later in the grieving process.
Focus on looking after yourself and keeping well. She would be upset if you donât. X
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I can testify to that, my tummy makes some very funny noises, my digestive system has been chaotic to say the least, GP done blood tests but came back ok, says itâs probaly the stress and anxiety and will take time to settle.
I know our appetites go and food is the last thing I want to think about, but we must try to eat something, I try and eat a little and more often which seems to help.
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Hi Michael
It has been 19 weeks today since Peter left me and I have cried all morning. Everything I have tried to do has gone wrong. I canât concentrate and I just want to sit and cry. Like you miss Judith, I miss Peter it is so painful. I do try to eat but nothing tastes the same. I donât know what else we can do to make things better. Best we keep pouring our hearts out on here I think, at least we all understand each other. Take care, sending love Moira
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Hi yes me too ,just had a bowl of cereal ,all I fancied and quick and easy as well.Grief is playing havoc with my life now and probably forever more.Michael.
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Yes you are so right ,we must keep telling everyone how we are feeling and let the grief come out,yes cry and cry,I do everyday for her,heaven knows I miss Judith like crazy,she was an outstanding lady.Made my life all worth while every day.It is now so empty,I still have all the cards up since she passed away ,cannot bear to take them down yet.I still have trouble accepting that she is gone,wish it was dream.You sound like a lovely lady Moira you take care.Michael.
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I was really low this morning I went shopping and saw someone I hadnât in a while they said oh where is Peter I could have fallen through the floor I had to tell them he died in July it really upset me so I went to Maggies which is a bereavement centre and spoke to a councillor for a while I felt better when I came out, life is going to be like that now all alone and hoping I donât meet anyone that didnât know Peter had passed away. David
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Oh I know David, the pain of that is unbearable. Having to say âIan died in Februaryâ feels unreal. I think to myself âwhy am I saying that?â⌠Again, itâs all part of this surreal new life (or half life) we have to endure now. I understand completely, glad you felt a little better after speaking to a counsellor
David,
Itâs just so exhausting isnât it. My mind is all over the place and I think weird things.
When I walk up the street I am constantly looking at other couples and wondering what kind of life they have, are they happy etc.
I also wonder if people, even strangers, look at me and know Iâm on my own now.
Do I look like a widow! Are they feeling sorry for me!
I now have a part time job, just a few hours a week to get me out of these 4 walls. One of the staff members who I knew from a previous job hadnât realised Martin had passed. She felt awful for mentioning him. Not her fault but I then spent the whole of my shift with tear filled eyes.
Xxx
Oh Dee, I know EXACTLY what you mean. I wear the term âwidowâ with heartbreak & disbelief.
Yes, exhausting is the word.
Xxx
Thank you Michael. You and I obviously think alike. We both love our partners so much which is making it so difficult for us to let them go. The problem is we donât want to do we? Peter has been my life for 60 years really since I was 15 and he was 18. He will always be my life as far as Iâm concerned and feel very proud to think like that, as nowadays. a lot of youngsters will never feel like that. Take care, Moira
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