I’m pleased my post has helped you as much of the time I feel I cannot help myself like most others on here.
You will have gathered I have suffered much guilt since June passed. I have sought the opinion of Doctors and they confirmed what I found in print on the NHS website.
My June was an Occupational Health Nurse for many years and an excellent one working for HSE. I’m very pleased your Nurse could help you. An omen perhaps?
I hope you will get some relief now and wish you all the very best. Tony
Being cursed is something I used to say but now it’s confirmed. The grief is horrible it eats into you. I’m going on for three stones loss of weight in 9 weeks since June passed.
We didn’t do Valentines - a mutual decision over the years. We were married 43 you see.
Everything that went wrong I used to say I was cursed. Well now I am truly done for in that regard. June had to fight MS then Cancer and then it was her heart which led to her passing. It’s so painful it hurts. I’m trying to keep busy when I can motivate myself. It works to a degree then something triggers of the grief again. It’s torture Michael but all we can do is try to get better. You take care. Tony
I was on the website last night and came across tapping for grief. If you type Brad Yates tapping bereavement it will come up and you can do the tapping alongside him. What he says is very comforting. Apparently it is like acupuncture on the meridian points of the body. It made me feel calmer. He taps for lots of other things too. Let me know how you all get on and what your experience is like. Some have said they have got more from tapping than counselling. I read the other day you don’t have to see the whole staircase to take the first step. We will all have to try x
Nel I’ve heard of tapping before but not specifically for grief. I’ll look at the site you mention- I’m willing to try anything to start feeling better. I’ve had SR counselling which was very helpful for me but I’m feeling quite hopeless at times again at the moment. Maybe it’s the reality of my situation hitting home- the fact that I’m alone in this city and need to up sticks and move 150 miles away to be nearer my siblings, get a new job over there, buy a house just for me, which will have to be a doer-upper. So much to get sorted out, all difficult stuff, and I’ve never needed my darling man by my side more than I do now! But I feel that I will somehow survive, and I believe that we all have friends on this site who can help us through when the going gets tough.
Wishing everyone a good day today
Love from Sophie x
Hi Dunckio, I lost my wife and soulmate 5 months ago, I seemed to be doing OK up to 3 months after she died and people told me because we had such a loving relationship I would get the strength to get through it. Then I hit a brick wall, it was also round the time of our wedding anniversary and her birthday (the “firsts” i.e. the first time your partner is not there at an annual event). I couldn’t understand what was happening to me I’d been so strong and in control and I just went to pieces. So I went to bereavement counselling and it really helped me understand what I was going through and helped give me mechanisms to understand the grieving process. The pain doesn’t go away but I’m learning how to cope. Best wishes Tim
Hello Tim …and everyone… I too am thankful for this site ,its been 5 weeks for me and I feel I’m getting worse every day …so fed up of anxiety and crying …no support from his family…but lots from friends and daughter…David’s funeral is Tuesday…its been a long time …I Sat at home last night alone feeling sad and lost …our present home was our retirement project …we had so many plans …I am 60 in April, he would have 54 in June…my friend’s husband died 14 months ago ,when David died she told me about the actual physical pain that that engulfs ,…she was right …I sometimes have hope when I talk to her …she feels the pain is more bearable now ,although she is still devastated. I sometimes have very dark thoughts…I did yesterday…hoping today is easier…love and strength to you all …Sue x x
Oh Tony we are two of a kind ,our wives did suffer so much in the end,it was horrendous to see a healthy lady like Judith being tortured by bladder cancer,like you with your June it was awful to watch.I lost a stone and a half but you have lost 3 ,that is not good my friend.I like you am hurting over the way she was taken from me.Curse is a terrible word but my wifes family were cursed with cancer as they all lost out to it in the end.Her parents,her Brother and now her.It is a wicked evil curse. Much love Michael x
We are all victims here just as those we have lost. None of us ever imagined going through our journey. I’m trying everything I can to improve. I sat for weeks doing nothing much day after day. I have been trying to motivate myself and do some everyday tasks. I have changed the bed again today and done some washing. Yesterday it was a bit of housework - tomorrow will be the same.
I also went to Church this morning my third time since June passed. I have never been a churchgoer during my adult life and I’m now 66. The congregation and the clergy have been very welcoming and supportive. I say my Prayers for June. I know it’s not for everyone. I don’t know whether I will continue but it’s getting me out of the house and forcing me to engage with people.
Cancer is most certainly a curse - it affects most if not all families at some point and has both sides of ours.
Thank you for your comments Michael. Stay strong Michael and everyone. Tony
Hi why have they not found a cure or vaccine yet for cancer. I think they make to much money out of it but they don’t think of the people left behind to struggle through life or the people who wanted to live so much they would go through any horrible treatment just to live . Sorry just my thoughts .
Totally agree. My Wife was untreated heart failure at 65. Same. Domestic chores and time passing. I also am not religious but sit in a church for peace and reflection and found myself invited in to a full blown mass last week. Whatever help or comfort we can find is ok
Pleased you got info after an unnecessary struggle. I am waiting for my Wife’s report to be explained to me from last October but 2 doctors have agreed to do it so I shall see.
I pray every night and does answer prayers. I believe he will help us through our grief and gives comfort and peace. Nobody knows why bad things happen to good people. We will all die one day and I hope when we do it is sudden then we do not suffer as loved ones have. We will then see our loved ones again in heaven where they are not suffering but happy. There spirit stays close to us and our loved ones will look after us until we see them again. I hope I have not offended anyone with my belief. X