Caz9, my husband passed a week before yours and suddenly too. I know what you are going through. we only had each other and I have no support here and am all alone in the house. Lost is the word that I use over and over as well. Keep posting or reading, it might make a few minutes of the day a bit easier to handle.
2 Likes
Mrs Murphy, I see the signs too. When I went to view my husband before the service they had music piped through into the room. It was mostly just sort of reflective songs with sad undertones. I had written a letter to him and was reading it to him and then suddenly Van Halen Why Can’t This Be Love came on, a song that I used to blast to Greg when it was very early in our relationship and I had said I Love You and he hadn’t said it back yet but I knew he did. I just knew it was him. It made me so happy and sad at the same time. I have to say that it is impossible to think it will get “worse” after the funeral but for me it definitely has. This week has been so unbearably hard and everything is so quiet without the planning to “distract” me and being all alone, I’m losing my mind. Sorry to freak you out but that is how I have felt.
Hello. I lost my husband 8 weeks ago, I know how you feel. I cry every day. No family close by and few friends. It is very hard. I keep trying to tell myself that he wouldn’t like me to be sad ,but when you have been together 24/7 for 30 years, it’s not easy. I miss him so much. I’m seeing a counsellor, don’t really know if it’s helping , but someone to talk too . Have you thought of this?
2 Likes
hi Florida, im having a really bad today. I am inconsolable. rang lifeline and beyondblue but they arent helpful at all. i dont know if a counsellor will help or not either, even though it is someone to talk to. i am consumed by extreme guilt, distress, sorrow and whatever other words try and explain these overwhelming feelings. Same here, Greg wouldn’t want me to be so extremely sad but he wouldn’t want to be apart from me either so I’m just going insane.
1 Like
Hi, reading your post is truly heartbreaking but please know you are not alone. I lost my love 6 weeks ago and am struggling with loneliness and grief. I have to return to work soon but I am dreading it and facing an empty house when I come home. I will be here for you anytime you need to offload.
1 Like
I so understand your feelings. Its a dull Sunday morning and I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve had a bad night’s sleep. Seeing no one. I feel forgotten about. Spent yesterday gardening to get out of the house but don’t feel like it todsy.
1 Like
Hi, thanks for saying that. How does anyone get through this I’ll never know. I cant imagine having to go back to work. That is so far from my mind right now. Who knew how much an empty house could affect you. Its the worst. So quiet, I hate it. I’m glad I found this place so we can all support one another.
1 Like
I get that feeling of being forgotten. I am ringing hotlines to get help and I spose to have someone to talk to even if for 20 minutes or so. I have out only been out once since Greg left me and only because I had to but I cant even bring myself to go outside anymore. I hope you found something to possibly “distract” you for even a little bit today.
1 Like
Yes, watching tv is hard too isn’t it? I want to share things with Brian. I don’t enjoy food anymore, no fun sitting by yourself. I eat on a tray. Got a wet day here . If I get in the car, where do I go!
He wouldn’t be happy to think I’m like this, I know that. When he was poorly I said how nice it would be to go together and he said “now that would be a waste of your life” .Always such a positive man. He gave me so much confidence but now I’ve lost it.
1 Like
Nope. Having a really bad day
1 Like
Hello Alyson.r
I’m so sorry you are having a really bad day. I had one yesterday. I am very lucky in that a neighbour, I bearly knew before (and quite honestly, wasnt sure I liked) has been an absolute rock. She has invited me along to things she is going to and her and her partner have asked me along for the odd meal. Have you got anyone close by? I have been trawling the internet for help and possible groups, just for the company. I think the thing to remember is that grief, if we allow it, is a healing process. I’ve no doubt your loved one would be devastated that their departure is hurting you so much. I do understand the way you are feeling. I am discovering a new more sociable me. I never wanted anyone else; I was always so happy with my lovely Husband’s company. Try to look forward in a way they would have wanted you to. Baby steps. You ARE allowed to go into meltdown some days (as I am sure I will another day) but a very clever friend of mine said we, in the West fight it. We should find somewhere to go and scream and wail - let it out. I’ sending some positive vibes to you. Take care. x
1 Like
god yes. I haven’t been able to even concentrate on the tv at all. i have it on for background noise. Now I’m by myself I have tried to watch it. even though we didn’t watch much, the few shows that we did just make me sad. I’ve no interest in food either, at all. I just feel sick when I try and eat. We always said we wanted to go together too, neither one of us being able to bear the thought of being without the other. Your Brian in saying that was such an inspiration. It still doesn’t help the hurt though does it. Same here, I feel like I am nowhere near the person I am when I’m with Greg. I’m so different now.
1 Like
Yes,
I’m here. I lost my partner 4wks ago after the horrendous struggle she went through with breast cancer. These are dark, tough and cruel days ahead of us, but we will emerge from the dark maelstrom up into clearer, lighter and better days. I am so really very sad and sorry to read about your husband.
Thanks Nita60. There is just so many of us going through this. You really don’t realise until it happens to you I guess. I am sorry to hear about your partner too. I can’t see a way out of this now, I am just so deep in my grief and pain. I left the house today for the first time and I was so panicked and it hit me that this is life for me, walking alone on the street, always. It was horrible and I cried and cried the entire time. I still imagined walking back to the house to see Greg waiting for me. I just want him back.
1 Like
I know how you feel I’ve completely lost my appetite too actually haven’t eaten for three days now. going to try and force some porridge down this morning don’t want it but I know I need to eat. I have an appointment to register my husbands death this afternoon not looking forward to that 
Porridge was my first thought of what to eat too but I still haven’t tried it yet. hope you can stomach it. It’s been nearly three weeks for me and I still can’t eat. I get a pain when I try. I have only tried rice crackers and can’t imagine other food. I should eat something healthier even though it still might make me feel crap I know. Greg and I lived an extremely healthy life in every aspect and I find myself feeling mad at the fact that it didn’t make any difference to have lived this way for so long as Greg still got cancer and passed away. I feel disillusioned by a lot of thigs now. Thinking of you this afternoon. Really hard thing for you to have to do xx
1 Like
Thank you and you really need to try to eat something believe me I know it is hard but I’m going to try today
1 Like
Gns247, I am exactly the same. I’m getting panic attacks if I go out now, as my husband and I did everything together. Now my life us goingvto be empty. Xx
1 Like
I wasn’t ready for what might happen and spose I wasn’t that surprised but it was so overwhelmingly upsetting and I don’t know how I made it back inside. Every day a new reminder of our lives now without them xx.
1 Like
None of us are or were ready. I certainly wasn’t and I. Going through anger too, asking why he felt he needed to leave me , we had so much planned, and now my life has changed for ever. I just can’t accept it
1 Like