It is so hard that we are with out out loved one so hard I went and joined a walking group today went for a walk nice laddies but after I was in bits the fact that I am trying new things to fill my day is horrible I just thought I cannot do this I loved my life we-spent most of our time together I’m so lost with out him seems pointless if it was not for my family telling me they can not loss me as well I would have to end this life without him some how I love my house but I hate that his not here can not clear out any thing I know I will come across some thing that will upset me have no one really that I feel I can talk too it’s not fair to let the children know they tell me I am syringe and doing well so hard alone even when we have family it’s not the same just was not prepared for this hope you have had a better day copping sending hugs xxx
Thank you for caring. Michael x
Misprint this is exactly how I feel and have done for the past 16 months and Will do for the rest of my days.
Rob and I would go out on the motorbike, go to ukulele festivals, go northern soul dancing and to soul week Enders now I do NONE of that everything went with him . It’s just not the same doing things on your own . I miss him , the company and the companionship so much .
I just get up go to work come home go to bed and do much the same the next day and for what it’s like I just go through the motions of the day and nothing has a meaning or purpose I just do it I suppose it keeps the kids thinking I’m ok
I feel the same your comment we just do it so the kids think that we are ok I do exactly that but I’m not ok and do not feel we will ever be we have lost half of us how can we heartache will never heal just learn to cope I guess take care all not good with writing things down but it helps as on here you all understand and don’t mind reading it people don’t really want to listen do they been 8 months today and seems like yesterday it is mo better the pain is awful as we know we are on our own always now till it’s our time to be together again xx
Rose45 exactly right
There is just no one but us to do the best we can . Take care x x
We all know on here how each other is feeling I spent the day out walking now come home and his not here and I realise it will always be so empty and miss him so so much I will never be the same feel blessed that I had true love for 46 yrs how do I carry in with out him I don’t see how day by day my children tell me I’m trying but it is hard going xx
Hiya Rosa I try to not cry in front of my children and granddaughter as they are hurting to but as soon as they go home the flood gates open and can’t stop crying it’s 13month since the love of my life passed it’s so hard you take care annie x
Hi I am the same they think I am strong and doing ok that is what we want them to think so as they don’t have to worry and I don’t want to be a bother as they have got there lives to live I had mine a feel grateful but unlucky to have lost my love one too soon it’s so unfair hope you have an ok evening they are so long xx
Rose I hate night times especially with dark nights my mind works overtime and when I go to bed I lie for ages I’m up every morning by 4oclock lv annie x x hope your okay x
Yes it’s horrible hope you manage to sleep it’s a long day when you wake so early xx
Annie have you tried putting a hot water bottle in your bed - I have done every night since the 13/04/21 (the day he died) - I wrap it in his T shirt and hold onto it - the warmth makes me drift off to sleep - it’s something so simple but it might work - I hate getting into a cold bed - my husband always made sure it was warm for me -I know it’s not the same but it’s awful lying awake. Susan
Because jim was a bigger size then me I wear his t-shirt in bed it still smells of him
That nice to feel them close xx
I haven’t Sanbay but I will try it thankyou I’m so tired all the time but just can’t lv annie x x
Hiya misprint I have johns dressing gown I go to bed with it but still can’t sleep I’m worn out lv annie x x
Hi Annie 11,I’m the same just can’t sleep my husband is on my mind every minute miss him so much,don’t know how we carry on the future is ruined,
Heartbroken feeling worse each day
Take care
Christine x
I so get this! I often wonder the same. Thank you for posting this, I’m not alone 
It’s so unpredictable sometimes I can get off to sleep easily but am awake about four then other times I can’t get to sleep and am awake till three then drift off and all I can think about is what has happened, worrying if I should have acted differently what was he thinking, was he scared, was he aware of everything happening, it all goes round and round in my head and I am so so tired, I actually resort to a glass of gin and lemonade when it gets too bad and I’m desperate to sleep and this does work for me I dare not have more, it could be a slippery slope, such worries we have thinking of everyone xx
I use my husband’s dressing gown to wrap around our little grandsons when they sleep as if it is their granda’s arms giving them protection. It always breaks my heart and I leave the room in tears but its the only thing that I can do to bring my husband close to both the little ones. The reality is the eldest will not remember his granda except from photos and the youngest never got to meet him.
My grandsons are 15and13 and they loved their grandad so much -their father walked out when they were 5 and 3 snd my husband took over the reigns and did so much for them - at his funeral the eldest said “please rest now grandad I will look after grandma” and the younger one had a long list of what his grandad had taught him to do - I had to ask him to shorten it or it would have taken too long to say it all - they both stood up and wanted to say what they had to say - they live with me now with my daughter their mum and I don’t think I could have carried on without them / I focus on what they need on a daily basis and try and make up for their loss. I am glad they got to know him because I can see his ways in them - it is a reminder of the saying - life goes on- be kind to yourselves your lives will be different but we have to carry on as best we can -