Taff I’m on 100mg amitriptyline and it gives me headaches and a really bad dry mouth also does nothing for me regarding depression.
Ive taken amitriptyline before I think thats why he was nervous about going to GP, he didnt want his headaches to return if he had to come off it.
Took the dog to the groomers and went for a walk and managed to fall! Husband insisted I went to Badminton , with him, my son and his girlfriend, I just didnt want to be there and all I could think of was it was stopping me writing to my son, not sure journaling is helping as its like I’m having a one way conversation with my son , but I need to do it all day. TCF have given me details of a localish support group but have said that will be November time is my grief is too raw at the moment. The bracelet came today with his thumb print on but they forgot the engraving on the back and the print is not as clear as i would have liked, glad it wasn’t expensive
You have achieved a lot today and taken massive steps to do them. Maybe try journaling a bit later, it’s not for every one. I didnt start doing one for four months.
Been re reading the post mortem and toxicology, made some notes which I need some answers too….medical terms, even google not helpful. I’m in a better place today, had a walk and pottering in the garden. Take care, be kind to yourself xx
Taff when you do your writing make sure you jot down how you are feeling and what’s really bothering you on that day because the point in jotting these things down is so in say 4 months time you can look back at what you have written and see if you have made any improvement in how you feel and how you are thinking.
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That’s what I do and look back on how I have been feeling. I only started mine July and to be honest when you read back it’s interesting to see a bit of progress being made. I write down how I feel, my thoughts, what I’ve done that day, it does seem to help…well it helps me and I only got this from talking to people on here. Thank you xx
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I’ve also done that with my journal, I don’t write everyday, just when I feel the need. I’m glad it was suggested to me, it’s really helped me xx
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My daily journal is getting longer and longer, its now mainly one way conversations with my son. Had a very hard few days this week probably not helped by youngest is 18 tomorrow, what a 18th with everything thats gone on and his present has just been cancelled due to weather. Cannot sleep as soon as i close my eyes i get horrid pictures
Wish I had some advice on the horrid pictures taff because I’m the same then when I do fall to sleep I’m usually woken up having terrible nightmares
I have terrible flashbacks, not sure what the answer is or if they will ever stop? C
I too have horrendous flashbacks, and catch me unaware. Noise of sirens, ambulances, police are all trigger points, plus if I see anything to do with a medical programme on tv. My tv viewing has completely changed….just like I have. Take care xx
I can’t imagine what it must have been like to find your boys .
Have either of you spoken to a professional as you could have PTSD.
xx
Its the time they took to find him , over 40 hours that i struggle with the most, i cannot look at police, too many memories of they all searching our house at least 3 times the numerous ones that turned up every coulple of hours, the one that turned up 20 mins late with no apology when we had to go and idea him.
The police really need more training when it comes to grieving families .
I know they deal with it day in day out but they should have more patience and compassion.
xx
They do, the last two who came to say he had been found, the one coukdnt look at us and just sat looking at floor, the other kept saying when yiu are ready and just wanted to get his spiel out
@Tilly13 yeah I had some counselling with Cruse, which was very good. The flash backs aren’t as bad as they were, but had the other night watching a police programme on tv, it was so strange.
I have to get out of bed as soon as I wake up otherwise my mind races. I keep the radio on during the day, just so there’s noise and I read a lot, which defo keeps my mind busy xx
Glad you found the councilling useful .
What are you reading ?
I’m just reading books on grief at the minute .
I have loads of books on my kindle but I worry they might be too triggering .
xx
@Tilly13 I’m reading ‘ It’s ok that you’re not ok’ by Megan Devine. Someone bought me it when my son first died but I’ve just been reading it, never felt ready before. I’ve really enjoyed reading it, it’s so good an sort of confirms I’m not going mad!
I’m also reading a book by Katie Fforde, romance and just easy reading, I just find it helps keeping my mind occupied xx
I’ve just read the Megan Devine book and yes I agree it’s very good .
I’m off to the library shortly to see what they have .
Xx
I have to get up as soon as wake up which is early as I can literally feel my brain going into overdrive xx
@MJG yes I think we get to know how to deal with certain situations. I get up as soon as I wake up and don’t go to bed until I’m literally falling asleep. It works for me xx