Has anyone got a copy of their childs medical records he had CBT for about 6 months in 2021/22, via NHS part of me wants to know what he talked about, as that night even though the CBT was originally for pain he mentioned that they thought he may also be depressed.
No, but my sons medical record was attached to his bundle from the coroner. It said about when he had been on life support(drugs few years ago) Addaction etc, also the amount of help he was offered and declined at the doctors. I never knew this and found it upsetting. Not sure if that helps you or not sorry xx
I think I would like to see his medical record for myself , see what else he had hidden, i would like to think he had sort help and nothing worked rather than he just decided nothing would help.
Lots of panic attacks today , just the thought that I will never see him again, no more conversations, no more sneaking out to āfood shopā but having lunch together first.
I think my husband is determinted to destroy me, hes going on and on about police having phone so he cannot cancel contractā¦contract is in my name and im not cancelling it. He then wants to retire early but only way will be selling up, i dont want to leave here yet, yes originally we were thinking of moving in 3 years, but now i want my other son settled and move close to him but that will be 5 + years
Couldnāt you politely tell him the contract is in your name and your not ready to cancel it yet, my son hadnāt lived here in this house for 2 years but no way could I sell this house or leave it because thereās to meaningfully memories here from all my kids.
They always say donāt make any quick decisions when dealing with bereavement, really hope you can talk to your husband. Iām in complete meltdown today, sat crying all morning, told my partner I canāt do this anymore, he said you can and we will. Take care xx
Life just seems to get harder and harder, I sit most of the day crying, then pretending when my other son comes home from school, at this rate a heart attack or stroke is highly possible I think. Not sure how I can move on from feeling like this - 9 weeks tomorrow he left the house for the last time. Why did I not speak to him when he was in and out of his bedroom, i felt him pause and look in my bedroom I should have spoke to him, he might not have had the words to say please keep me safe tonight
I was just thinking about you and wondering how you wereā¦stupid to say that. Itās so hard no no words can say how we feel, to many ifs, whys I find. I spent yesterday afternoon in tears after speaking to the solicitor, then panicked because my Will isnāt up to date, my partner was saying crying doesnāt change anything. I hope you are trying to get out in the garden or a little walk, remember minute by minute. I think back to the Wednesday I saw my son, he was on top form, no evidence of drug use anywhere, as I had seen it so many times. My so called best friends given up nearly with her, fed up with her moaning about her health. Do you think you should speak to your GP about how you are coping. I bet if you looked back through your journal you would see a tiny progress. I often ask my partner am I ok, he says yes you are doing really well. I donāt see it but each time I have a meltdown Iām coming back harder and stronger, but that is my character and always has been. Iām not the same person and I hate the hell we are in, be kind to yourself, cry as much as you need too. Iām here for you and keep messaging. Private message me if you would like to, believe me I no the pain xx
Im just feeling worse and worse, keep thinking when my son said I donāt want to go on feeling like this, his problems there was solutions there is no solution to mine. Iāve got a GP appointment on Friday as she wont give me another sick note without seeing her. Iāve not seen anyone for 6 weeks now since the funeral apart from family, everyone else expects me to move on like a normal death
Iām glad you have a GP appointment on Friday, I really hope seeing them can give you some helpā¦Iām not sure how and Iām sure they will sign you off work. I hardly see anyone as I canāt be bothered with them. No one apart from us going through this hell actually understands. This is my only lifeline where I can actually open up about how I feel and not be judged. Take care thinking of you as itās such early days. Please believe what I say as it does get a bit easier, I never thought it would, but it does. Always feel free to private message me xx
Itās 5 weeks from my baby leaving, I think I am worse now, the realisation sheās never coming back, Iāll never hold her again, never hear her voice.
Every night I think āthank god this day is overā only to face another day like it tomorrow but Iāve finally realised why I have the sense of reliefā¦. I am a day closer to seeing her again.
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I dont have that mine is 30 years of living without you i just hope its not 30 years feeling like this
@MoBe @Taff
Iām nearly 2 years after my son died, I have no idea how I got here! One hour, one day at a time. Iām still seconds away from tears. Iām hoping when I return to work in a couple of weeks I can control my emotions more, but I feel that in itself just puts added pressure on. Weird how the simplest thing can set me off, will it always be like this? xx
Time certainly does slip past us quickly but Iām finding that there is triggers everywhere that can set me off at the drop of a hat.
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She was only 21 so I may have a long time too but Iām hoping not.
Canāt live this empty life for another 30 years
I think it will but like you say hour by hour, I e just lost it today, solicitor rang, probate done in my sons flat, made me cry, then rang the water company about his flat and the guy was so unhelpful to me I lost my temper with him. Waiting for the solicitor to ring me back to sort it out, can do without this s**t. Sorry rant over. I was ok today until about an hour ago. Iām really not sure how I have got this far xx
I can sometimes recognise the trigger points, but then all of a sudden floods of tears, just been crying all because of a phone call. I only do minute by minute some days, then if Iām ok hour by hour. The pain will never go away, somehow you just exist. This site is my only lifeline, take care xx
MoBe, itās such early days for you and the pain is horrendous. I used to count the weeks, but realised I havenāt done that for sometime. I e been upset today all because of a phone call. I need to regroup again. Remember we are all here to help each other, minute by minute. This journey is so hard, but in time you will get a good day, they do happen, take care, keep messaging xx
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Some people have no compassion
Anything stressful and Iām struggling more, just closing his bank accounts was hard enough, its like thatās another piece of him gone. I have my cousins death certificate and some personal items on my shelf and its like she was reduced to a folder full of items. I dont want him to just be memories I want him here now, how he could get so low and not tell us , his mental pain could have been helped in some way, mine is here to stay forever