That’s lovely
thank you woolly, these poems really exoress how i feel , they sometimes make me cry but also comfort
1 Like
Yes I find sometimes words resonate with me and others I just can’t cope with. That is a nice poem.
I was pleased to hear you say at 21 weeks things aren’t quite as raw. I’m really finding it hard this week. Much harder than before (5 weeks ago lost my husband). The longing to be with him is so great,
hi Woolly, the longing to be with him hasnt gone, i still have really bad days, last 2 have been bad, lots of tears , but there is a significance to these days, wednesday pm is when he got terminal anxiety and thurs early am is when he passed , these 2 days are bad every week. But there are better days now when memories come and i smile with damp eyes. I can now feel his presence with me, was too numb before for that. as ling ax ibfeel hes with me I can get up in a morning snd carry on. Worst days are when im not well and in my own, i wonder what would happen if i fell and i no longer have help. silly things
1 Like
Yes Ronnie that worries me too. I have to go to hospital next week and I’m afraid I’ll be really upset there without him to support me.
2 Likes
It is so hard its 12 days today. I feel so lost and scared . How do you all cope. I am agrophobic and Gra was my anchor . I dont know how muchlonger i can hold on. Xx
So sorry you are feeling like this. We all understand your pain and fear. It is very early days and everything is raw. Just take things slowly an hour at a time. Reach out to family or a friend, but if that is not an option please ring your GP today. There will be someone there who can help you or point you in the right direction. Take care. Sending love and strength xx
Hiya Jodie i do have family but i have been told by them that they still have lifes to live, and that this is my new life. I feel like ut wouldnt matter if i wasnt here i wouldn’t be missed. I dont want them to give up there lifes but i thought i would have had more support then i have. I havent even seen my brothers and my son. I have a sister who has had a stroke she rings most days but thats it. Because of my fear of going out i have no friends. So who would miss me no one x
I think we have all felt like this from time to time. It seems a little harsh for them to say they have their lives to live at this early stage, but at least you know now that there will be little support from that quarter.
Someone said to me that at times like this friends become strangers and strangers become friends.
Try and maintain that daily phone call with your sister just so you hear another human voice each day. I also put the radio on ( not a music station as it’s too upsetting ) usually on a news channel. I don’t particularly listen but at least there’s another voice in the house.
It’s natural to think who would care whether we are here or not. We’ve lost that special person who was always on our side.
Keep posting for support. There’s always someone here and it will be a lifeline for you. And your GP should be able to offer support so you are not alone xx
1 Like
I just thought i would have had more from my family i only lost my husbandon the 16th then my little dog on the 23rd , the house is so empty . I know they have lifes but i thought there would have been more support. I would have been there for them all and have been in the past. I have the telly on all the time just for movement. I am to frightened to go to bed so i just lay on the sofa. I have never been alone before. Xx
It’s so hard when you don’t have the support you thought you would get - especially at a time like this.
People can be so selfish at times and that can be very difficult to accept.
I would reiterate what Judy says and reach out to your GP or there are many support services who have helped those really struggling like the Samaritans.
It’s so early for you and trying to adapt and accept your loss will take time but things do get easier. Just a little bit each day - keep reaching out here. There is support and you are not alone. Xxx
1 Like
Ty so much to both of you i never imagined myfamily to belike they are. I have never asked them to give up there lifes but they know how. I struggle. I have called doctors they are going to arrange so councilling for me. How do you all govto bed at night i have never slept alone before. And i am scared. Xxxx
hi jevncute, sorry youre feeling like this, families often dont how to deal with our grief , i told my daughter how lonely and the hoyse w
as empty and so silent, i was told niw youre sounding needy, but we now meet for coffee or i go to hers, but she works shifts so doesnt have much time, my son more understanding, he comes when he can and takes me shopping , doesnt stay long but he works 12 hour day’s and needs quality time with his kids at weekend’s. I wish theyd phone more, ive noticed no one xalls after the funeral, its iver fir them but just the start for us. Its tge same with friends, its the new people ive net at a club I’ve started to go and church that are more supportive. i know my kids will come if im ill, but in the mean time i let them have theur life as i feel if i keep pestering they will feel im too needy. it could be my.state of mind , as im not me know a good part of me left when David died. Please talk to your Dr, they should help also talk to cruise, ask age concern for a talking friend , irs very early days for you please ask for help if you need it, snd keep talking on here. Youre not alone and your loved one would want you to carry on for them. It really is one dat at a time, i know ill never be better, never the old me but i will.learn to liveceith this pain and emotiness better.
hi jevncute, regarding sleep, i have put his t shirt on a pillow and it fills his side of the bed, sonits notcso empty. I could never sleep without him, but at leadt the beds not empty his sude no, a daft solution but it helps i still dont sleep well, but have good nights, and each night i tell him how much i love him and ask him to hold me like he ysed to so i csn sleep.
I ne er thought of that. Do you live alone. Can i ask how old you are, i am 59 feeling like 109. Do you have plenty of support. How long is it for you. Xx
hi jevncute
im 71, my autistic stepson lives here, he wirks part time but rest if time hes in his room, things are not easy with him, he struggles and i bear the brunt of his meltdowns, never violet but very uosetting on top if it all, they are getting less, but even if hes here it feels as if im alone and he doesn’t help me even if i ask. i dont have support, my son will come and help if hes able, my daughter we meet out occasionally once or twice a month, stroson doesnt like her and wont have her in house, so very hard. but having to go to her gets me out.
Awww bless you that sounds really hard, i am pleased he isnt voilent to you but it still must be hard when he as a melt down. What is it with families i suppose like myselfvyou have and always would supportvyou kids , but when we need them where are they.
its hard, i always help my kids, but they will be no granny flat for me theyd stick me in a home i think, losing David made mecrwsluse it even more. The stepson is getting better, but he doesnt know how to process emotions, he nowctalks abit about how he misses him and how hes the last of the name. im trying to deal with my grief and trying to help him understand how grief is different for everyone, whe he finds dealing with them almost impossibly. Hes trying hard , says he has to learn how to cope and now does his own shopping washing and cooking, and ssys he wsnts me to go out not sray in alone, go down hill like his gran and my mum did after they lost their husbands, says he wants me.around for years to come yet, so in his own way he does care about me, even if hell never help.
As much as id like to give up and be with David, he wouldnt want that i have to go on for him and his son
Awww bless you, will your son ever be able to live independently? It would be so lovely just to have so.eone else in the house so i5s not so empty all the time. What does going down the hill mean. Xxx
he means giving up, not going out, and seeing people, he doesnt want me to be isolated and lonely. Yes hes managing ok, its just the bill part, so when hes sorted ill let him pay some of the bills to the house, it will be his any way, as its left in trust to him. Hes learning.