Lighting a Christmas Eve Candle.

Hello everyone
It doesn’t seem possible that we are approaching another Christmas…time has somehow carried us to the most poignant of anniversaries which can make our grief even more painful, no matter how long or short a time we have been carrying it.
Last year, many of us joined together by simultaneouy lighting a Christmas Eve candle for our loved ones and placing it where its light could shine out in tribute and recognition of those who are no longer beside us. Pattidot reminded me of this, and we wondered if it would be something you would like to do again this year? By lighting our candles at tbe same time we have a sense of togetherness and some of the loneliness abates somehow. I think 7 o clock was the chosen time last year but it could be earlier if people so choose…just answer this post and we can come to a mutual decision.
I hope that the weeks ahead will be kind to us all…the world is a frightening place these days but we can help each other to shine light into the darkness.
Take care everyone x


Hi there that would be a lovely thing to do, my first time approaching a Christmas without my dear mum so would love to do this to feel that sense of togetherness & that your not alone in your grief.
Lynn xx


That’s a beautiful idea. Any time will be good for me. My first Christmas without my darling husband x


I always light a candle for my mum on the anniversary of the day she died - 30th November.
This year, Christmas Eve there will be two candles to light. I lost my partner in January this year.
I’ll be joining you all at 7pm, or at the time chosen. Please let me know the preferred time.
Thank you.


Any time would be good for me. If you could keep me in the loop when a time has been agreed xx


This will be the second Christmas without peter. The candle is a lovely idea 7 is good for me or whatever time you choose. xx


Was only thinking about this today, I remember reading it on here but couldn’t find it, so I’m glad you posted about it, thank you, any time chosen will be ok with me, please keepme in the loop so I can join in and light my candle.

This will be my first Christmas without my husband, best friend, & soulmate, then the first week into the new year is our wedding anniversary, the following week my husband Chris’s birthday, so a lot if 1st to cope with.

I’m 5 mths into this awful nightmare, I’m trying to take one day, one anniversary at a time, to be honest I’m amazed I’ve come this far, achieved the things I have.

I always knew I loved my Chris, but until suffering his unimaginable loss, didn’t realise just how much. He is with me in everything I do, everywhere I go, I talk to him constantly, to light a Christmas candle for him will be an honour.

My heart goes out to you all in this situation we have no choice over, but have to endure day after day, bless you all, hugs Chrissy3


Dear Amelie’s Gran & Pattidot,
It’s amazing just what a chink of light can do, so thank you for your thoughtfulness. It’s my fifth Christmas without my beautiful husband; we also lost his lovely Mam last year and his brave Dad just last month. Keeping them all close in my heart and lighting a candle at 7pm.
Love to all but especially to those approaching their first Christmas in overwhelming grief and loneliness :rainbow: xx


Love the idea of lighting a candle/tealight in memory of our loved ones and for those alone on our community.

For those who do not like like real tealights you can get battery ones which are great. xx


Yes, I remember doing this last year and Pepsi is correct about the battery ones. The chaplain at our local hospice give me one which sits by his photo. We will all be there at 7.00pm on the 24 December. Take care Sxxx


That is a nice idea I always light a candle by my husband photo this will be my first Christmas with out him it will be so hard thank you 7 is fine


That’s a great idea. It’ll be my first Christmas without my grandad who died in September. I’ll light my candle in church when I go to see my friends sing at our Annual Christmas Carol concert. I’m not singing this year because the grief is just too raw for me.

Take care all of you


Dear @amelie_sgran,
I took part in last year’s lighting of our Christmas candles, and it had been in my thoughts again for this year in the last few weeks. I was hoping that we could do the same thing this year, and I am so pleased that you have created this thread for 2021.

7pm on 24th December will be fine for me.

Just noticed the other week too that Christmas falls on a Saturday this year, so Monday & Tuesday 27th & 28th are holidays too, effectively meaning that Christmas and Boxing Day will be 4 days long this year. That’ll be tough.

For any Sue Ryder admins, it’s a pity that this thread cannot be highlighted or “pinned” in some way to keep it at the top of the threads-list. That would help to attract more attention to it, as I’m sure there will be many others on the forum who would be interested in taking part.


Great idea definitely wi”l do this 7pm is fine for me or any time :candle:

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I think it’s a lovely idea and will be lighting a candle for both my lovely husband and my mum who have both unbelievably died this year so they can both shine at Xmas and it gives me a warm feeling in my soul to remember them xx


Hello yes I would like to light a candle with you. To remember our love ones…who are so badly missed. X


My husband passed away 9 weeks ago,I light candles every night for him,please tell me what time at Christmas

Christine x


Hello Christine I list my partner 18 months ago, its so hard and the pain is undiscribable unless you’ve been through it… people say… times a good healer…I so no no no…you just learn to live with it…x


Where do you live…I live in Bristol x

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I agree and think is a lovely thing to do lighting our candles at the same time in remembrance of our loved ones.