2 very large dogs Newfoundland 1 died just before Christmas he had downs syndrome 14 when he died so he was like a giant puppy my other died in March aged 15 ,then l lost my hubby in April, so from a full house to empty xxx
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Thanks Kate, I am so sorry for what you have been through this past year. How heartbreaking. (I had no idea that dogs could get Downs).
I hope your friends and family will help you through this Christmas and beyond. This will be my second Christmas without my husband and I am not looking forward to it. My family is doing all they can to make it easier for me, so I shall put on a happy face and wait for it to be over.
I hope you too will get through it unscathed.
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And now I have got your name wrong by calling you Kate! Please forgive me - it’s my Christmastime brain!
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So sorry for your series of losses Karen. I had the opportunity to visit Newfoundland several years back, and the locals are very proud of their majestic resident Newfies. They are beautiful Gentle Giants. Xxx
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I’m also facing my first Christmas without my lovely Mum. I hear you 
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I’m not celebrating Christmas this year either. I lost my lovely Mum and this will be the first one without her. There is nothing to celebrate. It’s a time of heartbreak for me.
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Everything about Christmas reminds me of my mam. I can see her in her new Christmas jumper preparing the food. It would be torture to try to celebrate when she isn’t here. Looking forward to doing my memory tree tomorrow. Tags and angels. Will post pics. I like the idea of it for mam but it’s like going through the motions of doing it, like I’m not present. It’s disassociation. Will light my candle for mam and I’ll do the online midnight mass with the vicar who did her church service and crem. She loved midnight mass. I might feel close to her. I hope so. See you at 7 xxx
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I am very new to this as only lost my beloved husband in August this year, can I ask what a memory tree is please as it sounds like it is something that might help me.
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Hi Misty. Nice to meet you. I discovered a memory tree outside the chapel of rest when I visited my mam. It was a communal Christmas tree for everyone to write a tag for their loved one. So I’ve bought a tree for my garden and will write tags from family and friends on strips of paper and hang it on the tree for mam - memories, prayers, thoughts, messages, love. I’ll e-mail my sister so she can print it all and laminate to create weatherproof tags for future memory trees (because the paper tags will not last). I’ll add fleece angels (garden fleece for protecting plants so weatherproof) and photograph to post here but also to keep for myself so I can feel close to mam. I’m doing this to replace Christmas because I just can’t face it. It will be 4 weeks tomorrow that she left us. I’m sure I’ll be distressed doing it but I might feel closer to her. You don’t even need a tree. You could hang your thoughts and memories around the house. Decorate areas where you sat together. Writing your memories down, gathering photographs, playing music keeps your husband close to you and I hope will bring you comfort. You can create a world to celebrate your life and love. As an artist I express my emotion visually and if I can see it I can move through it, like a journey. I’m totally devastated. I couldn’t read the tags from other people and the thought of delving into my head will tear me apart but it’s for my mam. I will never celebrate Christmas again because she is the essence of everything it represents - family, love, tradition, cooking, celebration, my childhood, my life. I can’t do it without her. But I can remember her and celebrate her and love her still. xxx
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Hi Christine 51 what a lovely idea, when I see our vicar today, I am going to suggest that we have a tree in or near church, so we can remember loved ones, stay safe and raise a glass to your mum
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Oh that is such a lovely thing to do, and thank you for all your other suggestions. This is the hardest, horrible thing I have ever been through, I miss him so much, I still feel that one morning I will wake up and it will just have been a horrible nightmare and he will there next to me. Love to all those who have lost the ones they loved and treasured, those who are just going the motions because life requires it of them. Just hold on your beautiful memories and keep them close to your heart.
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This will be my first Xmas without my husband. I lost him nine month ago,I think it is a good idea to light a candle for our loved ones who have passed away at 7.00 pm Xmas Eve . I talk to him all the time don’t know if he can hear me I like to think so.
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Angela60
Sorry for your loss my husband passed away 12weeks ago I still find it hard to believe,so sad and lonely without him
I will be lighting a candle for him
Take care
Christine x
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Lovely. My nephew helped write some tags today and I’ll tie them onto the tree tomorrow and post pics. We remembered such random things, like the pastry nub (the little bit left over from baking which my mam would pop onto the tray and everyone would laugh at it). The writing will disappear with the weather (it’s in the garden) so I’ll send a list to my sister to create laminated tags for future trees. A new family tradition. I know mam would be very happy. It feels like I’m just going through the motions at the minute but I’m doing it for her in place of Christmas. I think a communal tree at church is a lovely way to remember loved ones. xxx
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I keep thinking I must phone mam and tell her about my tree and then realise she isn’t here and that’s the reason I’m doing it. It’s like my head is playing a cruel trick on me. When I wake in a panic I try to work out if it’s real or not. I feel like I’m a dead weight on the bottom of the ocean. Everything is black. I feel confused. It can’t be true. Why is it true. What happened. And then I realise this is my new truth and the crying starts. I feel like a child. I can’t accept it. She feels so far away from me and I don’t have the energy to fight against it. I wish I could go back in time, like on tv, rewind again and again so I can tell her how much I love her and I will never stop loving her. This is heartbreaking. I feel so desperately unhappy. The pain is overwhelming. x
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I talk to my mam throughout the day, kiss her photograph and start crying because it makes me realise she’s really gone. I keep thinking she’s coming back, she’s just on holiday or shopping. Want to tell her about my memory tree and then realise I’m only doing that because she’s gone and never coming back. I will light a candle for her and see you all there. x
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Great idea I will be there. First Christmas without my beloved husband. 16 weeks now and it hasn’t got better! Will be thinking of you all
Janie
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This is my first Christmas too. I lost him only 15 weeks ago but it still seems like yesterday. Yes, I talk to him, and for the first time today a friend of mine asked me what he said to me. He doesn’t answer but she says one day he will, what a lovely thing to say. Our local chapel hosts a Christmas Tree Festival each year and I went to it yesterday. One of the trees had little memory birds you can write on, so I sent him a message. A bit like other people’s memory trees. I’m very weepy today and have to go out lunchtime to meet friends - no one wants me to be alone, they don’t seem to realise that sometimes I’m better just by myself with my thoughts and memories. And if I want to cry I can on my own. You have to paste a smile on and say everything’s okay when you meet people, and I just don’t feel like that today. I’ll walk down to the shore to talk to him again today, as I do every day and the weather is matching my mood, it’s crying and howling too. I’ll light my candles tonight and perhaps he’ll come home …
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I am the very same list my husband in may and it does only seem like yesterday it is hard walking down this road of grief I too would just like to be alone in some was but the family will not hear of it so I will do my best for them I wish too that he would talk back to me but your friend is right he will one day was not ready for this life with out him too soon all get through best you can it’s not nice place hugs to all xx
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I lost my hubby April the emptiness that l feel is undiscribable one minute l can talk about him which is all I’m doing lately ( he was Santa’s double ) and other times l can just start crying no matter where l am . My candles will be burning 
for my hubby who will be carrying our angel twins ,and holding my angel mum,dad and sisters hands 
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