Dear De . It’s a hard road we are on . Very bumpy and no fun at all but we are all on it together .
Post on here when you feel lonely or crazy or sad and you will always get a reply
Sending much love
Romy xxxxx
Dear De,It is indescribable isn’t it,the yearning and longing and the loneliness.It will be a year tomorrow since my mum died,I don’t think I properly grieved for her because when three months later I lost my darling Roy the enormity of him going has consumed my every moment.I too have a lovely sister who lives and works abroad,she comes to stay when she can and I am so grateful,but it is so sad when she has to go back.Stick with this group,they are a wonderful support and sometimes I feel a little less alone when I read that others feel just the same.Much love to you and everyone,Corinna xx
1 Like
Dear Romy. Likewise you will get a reply and thank you so much. Like Corinna said its a strange comfort. Today three months ago week-end we were watching TV never realising that the end of our time together was so near. I keep repeating day by day all hurting. the very happy memories that we had in our 30 years are not coming to my mind at all. I cant think we had happy times only how sad his departure has been. So sorry that you have too this pain. you don’t wish it to anyone.
Take care love De…
Dear Corinna. So sorry about your mum and your darling Roy all to close and too painful. Our families can be such a support and thank God for that. I am sure that sharing our pain, loneliness and feelings will help us all. thank you and do take care. Love De x
Hi De I lost my Ian last August, he was only 60 too. 6 weeks from his 61st birthday. Life is so cruel isn’t it. It was our 2nd marriage and we had no children together. I too wish I had his child. I completely understand your grief. You aren’t alone.
Julie xx
Dear Julie . So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this. So sad and is nothing we can do. Dont you wish there was a remedy to change things.
Thanks Julie keep in touch i know very well how yiy must feel. Our darlings were so young !!
Take care De x
Dear De . I can’t think of happy times either at the moment . My mind is all over the place . It goes back to the morning that it happened at home quite a lot ,as if it’s searching for a different, happier ending .
But there is no happy ending when someone you love very much dies
I wish I had something more cheerful to say but it is mind over matter to keep going every day and hope for the best
Sending lots of love xxxxx
1 Like
Dear Corinna .
Thinking of you today.
De xx
Bless you,Thankyou xx
Hi ! I am so sad today. Every extra day is extra pain and is building up more and more. Tomorrow 11 weeks ago that my darling husband left me. I miss him so much. I need his cuddles and need to hear his voice and need to see his smile.
I was completing some paper work for the probate this morning and the fact that I am called the deceased,s wife hurts like mad. That I must change his name from the bills, that I have not been able to donate a tree in our favourite grounds to see it growing is so painful. ( Apparently we have enough trees!!).
I read with sadness that we are so many suffering the same. I am sorry we didn’t have the child that i could have been hugging thinking I was cuddling my adorable soulmate. I so much need him I am going crazy. I don’t really want to do anything, I am eating because I need to eat, be responsive, conversational sometimes, but its all with pain inside.
Don you feel like shouting a the stranger that is laughing, the couple holding hands, or the one having fun with a child …. how can! why can I not do and have the same? what have I done to be punished like this?
.
Hi De,
Really sorry for your loss, it’s just horrible. I’m 8 months into my nightmare, I miss my lovely husband more each day that goes by. I too want to shout at strangers in the street, in shops anywhere, in fact anyone laughing, or even just looking happy. I hate seeing couples holding hands, that was our thing.
I’ve been reading your posts and responses, it’s a cruel world we are living in.
Here if you want to talk.
Lesley x
1 Like
Thanks Leslie.
Sorry too for your loss.
I just cant get used to the fact that i cant talk to him. We did everyghing together, e-mailed eachother even when we were at work . I dont understand why he had to go do soon. Or why was taken from me. Its isnt fair. He was such a nice beautiful human being.
I wish he could somehow let me know he is ok. I feel so sad, lonely, guilty, worthless without him. I felt protected by him and never told him that. I dont want to go back to work, its meaningless. Cannot cope thinking about anything else but him just him.
Take care . De
De, I could be me writing your words. We are very similar in our lives. My husband really looked after me, I too feel worthless without him. I’m lost and lonely, and that’s never going to change. He was my absolute best friend. The thought of living without him fills me with much fear.
Lesley x
1 Like
Dear De . You are not going crazy even though it feels like that . This grief thing is horrible . Brutal . It’s like being attacked and some days are much worse than others
It’s 6 months for me now . I have definitely gone through different phases getting to this point
I don’t cry uncontrollably any more
That’s not to say I feel any better now . More flat than angry . More numb than tearful .
It is exhausting and if you can get some sleep it helps the next day says she who is wide awake at 3 in the morning
Keep posting on this forum . Someone will have felt how you are feeling or be feeling the same as you . It helps to realise that you are not alone in feeling like this
Sending you hugs and understanding
Romy xxxxx
Hello Dear, I’m so sorry you have joined this awful club of sadness, pain and questions. I lost my lovely son 7 MTHS ago and it’s a nightmare. I feel all that you are feeling. I don’t have a husband at my side to support each other, my son was my strength in life and now life had to take him from me to. I didn’t want to go back to work either but I did in January. But like you say I feel it is pointless and feel I don’t belong there any more. I think about my son all the time. It’s not fair that he won’t get to live a long life, to have children of his own. People on here are very understanding, I find our world is now us and people that live in a normal world where we don’t fit any more. Sending you hugs x
Dear Lesley.
I wish I could remember all the good memories, I keep remembering what happened today last month and the month before and the month before that or las year this time. I look at his photograph and there is so much I would like to tell him. if only I could touch him hold his hand and give him comfort. Tell him I am with him every second of my life.
Indeed it is a scaring future without them. The confidence that I once had is completely gone. I cannot even make the simplest decisions, my darling is not there to discuss it or even mentioned it. We are all in such a world where nothing is making sense.
De xx .
Dear Orchard. so sorry about the loss of your son. You must be in such a pain. Life is so cruel and these circumstances are complete life changing which some of us are not ready to change or strong enough to go through this for quite a long time.
It is a great comfort to be able to express your feelings any time to someone that truly understand what we mean.
thank you.
sending you a big hug too.
De x
You are so right. It not the big things I miss most, it’s the small things. The future is scary. That’s the worst thing for me, I am scared !
Where are you from ? I’m in Bristol.
Lesley x
Dear Romy
thank you so much for being there. I some times get scared of my bad days which is almost every day. like you my eyes are getting dry, and the pain increases. It almost as if I feel defeated, No mental of physical energy to even think. I just know that I feel sad, empty, guilty and every emotion difficult to express. I want my lovely husband back and its nothing I can do. So how much powerless we can feel? Is there anything any one is doing to feel their presence? I write a short diary, I pray I beg and my words are not going anywhere but I hope my darling can her me.
Hope you are resting a bit this afternoon…….
De x
Dear De . I am very tired this afternoon. I went for bereavement counselling and then I went to visit someone in hospital and I didn’t sleep much last night so I am going as slow as a slug now
I do all sorts of weird stuff to feel close to my husband . Kiss his shirt . Hug a tree . Kiss a photo of him when he was little . Kiss the cross where he is buried
All these little rituals give me some comfort
Do whatever helps even if you think it’s crazy
Love Romy xxxxx