I could have written that @Steve71 . There is so much I wish I had said. I just hope Jim knew how much I loved him though I didnt tell him often enough.
Im feeling sad today Ive been playing bowls this afternoon and have come come to an empty house. Its now the weekend and if the weather is not good there is the prospect of not seeing anyone until Monday. Oh well I guess life has to go on, and this is the new normal
Iāve come off social media watching other peoples lives couples does not help me .
Three weeks ago I was invited for lunch with friends, during lunch they said āwe should make this a regular thingā, they havent been back in touch since. I dont know if they are waiting for me to get in touch or what. For some reason its not easy for me to make that call.
I think you should make the call and reach out to them. I make myself do it, otherwise theyāll soon get sick of always making the first move. Their response will be your answer.
I know someone who kept messaging, asking whether she could do anything, so I called her bluff. She was busy. Thatās one off the list, but at least I know now.
Thatās the way I am when I see older couples why have they still got there partner and I havenāt .Im lucky if I see anyone one to talk to most days I see my youngest daughter and her family on a Saturday but it feels like she doesnāt want to be here
Itās like the hole is closing and your trying to push you way out all the time x
So agree and identify with you. We were together all the time. We had each other and that was enough. I miss him so much. He was a wonderful man and the love of my life.
Hi
Ive only just lost my husband and i feel the same.
I feel lonely but i dont want to spend time with other people. I miss Nickā¦ he was my best friend and love 
We did everything together. My 2 children are grown up. I have no grandchildren.
We have 3 dogs. Me & Nick walked them together. So even walking the dogs is upsetting now 
I feel your painā¦ 3 years and you still feel the same 
Aww
I sat upstairs 
listening to mine and Nicks music.
My daughter sat downstairs, in the backroom on her phone.
My son watched football in the frontroom.
We are all grieving but cant grieve together 
Thats really sad Pam x
Im sure your daughter does want to see you. Maybe she just doesnāt know what to say
so sorry about this.
Me & Nick were together for 12 years but knew eachother from school.
When he started getting ill, we got married.
Thank god we didā¦ i couldnāt cope with that xx
@MandyC15 I am so sorry that your husband has lost his fight for life. I suddenly lost my husband unexpectedly 15 months ago. My son and I found it hard to grieve together. Both of our losses are very different as my son who was 22 was and still is grieving for his dad and I for my husband. My son is very inward and found it hard to grieve in front of me whilst all I did was cry and blame myself and felt guilty for my husband dying. I did cry in front of my son and my son told me he feels sad and misses his dad. I was so worried about him as it was so traumatic for him as he was with his dad when he suddenly collapsed and died 25 minutes later. I missed my husband by a few minutes and we were let down by the ambulance as came 40 minutes after my son rang them. 15 months on my son has now clicked with a young mental health nurse and is on antidepressants. I had antidepressants shortly after my husbandās death. Everyone grieves differently and maybe in time your children will grieve with you. Take care and big hugs xx
Thank you x
My son is 22 tooā¦ hes very quiet and hes struggling.
Lifes so unfair
Im hoping after the funeral it becomes slightly easier for my kids.
My daughter is 34 and has her own home.
My son is 22 and still lives with me.
Nick was fantastic with Niall. Encouraged him in anything he wanted to do. Niall has always loved boxing. Nick would go to all the shows.
Nicks not their dad.
But, Nialls dad never showed an interest which makes it worse.
I, however feel like ill be worse in timeā¦ not better.
At the moment i still feel like im going to see Nick and im running on adrenalinā¦ with funeral plans.
Its hard not to get cross with the professionalsā¦ being late.
It was my Nicks time to go and ill just have to except that
Aww thats so sad
We were supposed to go to Vegas 2020. It was our 50thā¦ all booked to go. Covid happenedā¦ all cancelled.
I was going to take Nick to the little white Chapel x
Yes life indeed is unfair and cruel and our husbands have been robbed of their lives and us of our future plans and dreams.
Yes I definitely found it harder after the funeral and my son did as well because the lead up to the funeral you are so busy sorting out paperwork and have so many visitors.
15 months on the second year is harder but different. The first year I was in shock and numb while this year is more realistic and know that it is this now, my new life. I am keeping busy, doing more work and have planned some trips away. What else can I doā¦I have no choice. I miss my husband so very much and think about him everyday. @MandyC15 you are still very very early days, take one step at a time and one hour at a time. Donāt look into the future as we got no control of the future like we didnāt have control of the past. Take care of yourself and let your children know that they can reach out to you anytime. Big hugs and love Xx
Thats lovely 
thank you xx
Yesterday was a very lonely day. I never spoke to anybody. It was the sixth month anniversary of my husbandās death. I felt so alone how long will these feelings last for? I donāt know what to do with myself. I donāt see future. Iām so sad all the time. I think of things to do. I lose interest in it because heās not here to say well done I miss him so much miss things we did togetherā¤ļøāš©¹
I feel the same and its only 3 days!
Me & Nick did everything together.
I cant imagine life without him.
Everything i do i think Nick should be hereā¦ he used to say,ā one day without you is like a week.
One week without you is like a month.
One month without you is like a year.ā
Take care xx
Dear @Pam14 and @MandyC15. I understand how you feel and I donāt have any answers. I am following the advice to keep busy but I do feel as though I am filling time. I guess we have to hope to create a new normal that will bring us happiness, but it seems a long way off for me at the moment. I am sorry for everyone going through this. I keep reminding myself that I feel this sad and lonely because of the deep love I had - and still have - for my partner. He died in February and has left a huge hole in my life. Take care everyone xx