@Galaxy75
I’m hibernating as well and doing exactly the same. I wish I could wake up and the whole thing would be past.
I will be thinking of all of us trying to get through it.xx
3 Likes
I was going to hibernate but I have just been given a choice I have a sister who lives about a two hour drive from me and she has insisted on me visiting her Xmas day the other choice was made by the mental health team who said they don’t think I should be on my own for Xmas day because I already did something that my partner would be upset with so instead of being alone with my memory’s it looks like I’ll be going on a journey instead of a few nights in the hospital
1 Like
Yeh … same here ! Flipping awful … 3 kids and not even an invite or visit over xmas … says it all really ! They can sod off if they think they will get anything from me … i know i told them i was cancelling xmas but they couldve popped over to see me ! But no ! Even that is too hard for them 
xx
3 Likes
You do that if your sister has invited you xx
Deb5 sorry for any confusion caused by me.cheeky was who started the post x
1 Like
Anyway … just as i said that my daughter and granddaughter popped in to gimme a present to open on xmas day xx
3 Likes
I am glad they popped in it’s so important to have family or friends around when possible 
2 Likes
Deb5 that’s great news hope you enjoyed the visit
2 Likes
I did … but it was a flying one ( 15 mins) as she was distributing presents ! She is looking very pregnant ! Due in march !!! A boy xx
2 Likes
Lol … its ok xx
1 Like
Hi @Deb5
That’s good.
A visit for short time is better than none.
My daughter stays in East Kilbride about 1hr by car to me i have only seen her once in 6 months and had a text once a month it is what it is now people are busy with their own lives and not letting it bother me as life is too short.
Anyway hope you had a nice visit
Lynne Xx
2 Likes
Thanks lynne … its not good enough though is it … people are just like this these days ! When i had my husband i couldnt care less but now hes not here - every bit of care is so important xx
3 Likes
You know im so happy i got this site ! Didnt even discover it until months after my husband passed ! If i had done before then i think i wouldve been able to cope with it all so much better ! But in those early days there was cruse texting ( not doing it now ) and they were so good too tbh. We all understand each other dont we ? I dont understand why people back off ? But one day they will have to face something similar whether they want to or not ! Nobody wants it - we didnt did we !! My bereavment counsellor said that our culture is one of the worse at dealing with bereavment x
2 Likes
Hi @Deb5
I think people back off as they dont know how to deal with grief or a death of someone so special to the person.
Someone said when your born you are dying it is just a matter of time.
All i know is you come into the world with nothing and you leave with nothing.
Personal items money car house means nothing in our lifetime.
Enjoy 
each day
Live it like it could be your last as it might well be
Take care
Lynne Xx
4 Likes
Yeh i know i agree ! We all do our best though don’t we to get through this ! Its a massive trauma we have had in our lives ! My husband was physically ok it was just the bloody cancer that got him ! Seems such a waste of a life ! But he was very bad at looking after himself … ;( and i did my best … i just wish he had looked after himself better and he might still be here ? … so sad … xx
2 Likes
Have u seen your daughter @Galaxy75 ? She should’ve come to see you at xmas … mind you i not seen my other two ! Theyre a selfish lot this generation ! I think my middle daughter is like her dad - kinder and that’s reason she makes more of an effort. But the world has not raised a very good society these days if you ask me ! It was better in our day … much more caring ! Xx
4 Likes
Lovey your connected to us we are people. You’re allowed to cry and feel alone. We all do that. It’s also early days not that it gets a lot better to be honest. It’s flippin hard. But we are all here for you. Get to see mental help team asap!! Don’t do suicide, it won’t help you. We are here to help you. I’m sending you hugs and love and always here to chat. Day and night. Hug hug hug 
1 Like
Hi @Deb5
No not seen daughter since funeral in Jun 2023. She has texted me about once a month and if say not coping well she says oh thats a shame. If i ask her to help she texted she has her own problems and family so not to bother her with my problems and to get over it.
Im sure my husband would be angry and upset as no support from her but he would not have been surprised unfortunately the new generation are really all about looking after no 1 You dont realise what you’ve lost till it is gone.
On top of my own grief i have my mum he gran with dementia now in care home due to bad fall she has dementia. Last cusut she accused me of putting her into care home and every day before my husband passed away she wants to die. Another thing to add to my.stress levels.
The last week attended funeral friend of husband who passed away suddenly aged 66.
So this year has been one i would like to forget but cant which is why my sleep and anxiety levels have been raised.
Waiting on cruise to contact me regarding councelling which hopefully will be next year.
I will get through everything life throws at me but 1 step forward 2 steps back just now.
Christmas just around the corner another day but just 1 day now
Lynne Xx
2 Likes
Lynne sorry to hear this about everything going on. Unfortunately cruse were a waste of time when I rang them all i kept getting told that i had to wait 6months .i told the lady who i was talking to that it was 6months since my gorgeous beautiful late wife sue had passed away 6months and all i kept getting you have to Wait 6months she reduced me to tears and I just put the phone down and vowed never to ask them again for help x
2 Likes
Well we will wait and see.
3 months since i phoned them. So maybe 3 months in March i’ll here from then.
Self healing i guess we just have to do things on our own now.
Hoping to go to Belfast early next year
Was going with my husband so on my own will be strange but 3-4 days should be ok
1st Christmas 
without him too but its just another day like all others we get through.
I was going out to garden today but weather near Edinburgh is bad having heavy rain and sleet so maybe tomorrow or boxing day.
Anyway thanks for the reply and whatever your doing over the festive period take care. I am personally will hibernate as staying home alone with Kevin sound’s like a film !!
Lynne
3 Likes