Hi @Stuandali . @AKM
That’s really weird as i was thinking of you both this morning and wondering how you’re doing. The last few weeks have been a bit tough for some reason. I think its because i got the final coroners report and official death certificate for Jimmy. I feel a if I’ve had a 2month relapse, and also can’t believe 6 months has passed! How on earth has that happened so quickly 
Your little plot looks lovely and somewhere to sit and remember. Iv had my birdbox put up now for Jimmy, I’m really pleased with it and hope we have birds nesting in it. I know he would love it.
Iv been out a few times with friend’s, just for a meal which has been nice. I can handle the small gatherings, it’s the party type events i try to avoid. We used to go to a market in St Albans every few months which is about a30 minute drive from here. It was on last week so i decided to go alone 
… just for something to do really on a Sunday!.. it was a bit of an ordeal, but i did it and thank goodness for SatNav!
But basically, I’m ok…ish and just bumbling along really. Life’s pretty rubbish atm, but just hope I’ll feel more positive when the warmer weather arrives!
Hi Stuandali, Sable and all lovely people here.
Stuandali your raised flower bed with bench I think it’s incredible and what a lovely gesture for Alison, she would be very proud of you.
Sable before long love birds will find there way to Jimmy’s bird home and then he would be watching them with you.
It’s been just over 5 months since Dave passed on to other side, I’m wondering how I managed to live last 5 months? Every morning I wake up and found myself lying in bed thinking why I’m still here, the life I lived with him that was the life I had, what is in front of me I’m not really looking forward to that. I returned to work last week as a phased return, I called Dave from work few times as usual, left messages!
I started to attend spiritual church every Sunday evening, find peace and solace there, that gives me a chance to meet other people, very supportive.
I’m still not cooking, we always cooked together and I just can’t do at the moment, living on packed and frozen meals!
Sending my love and peace to all of you.
Hi @Sable your birdbox is so nice. Such lovely words. I hope our partners are waiting for us wherever that is. Love.x
How lovely your bench and flower bed look, and your bird box will have a nest in it next year.
I went to london on the trip that Rob booked for me and watched my daughter run the marathon she did it in 3 hours 38 mins.
My other daughter does a freefalll this Saturday as her dad was in the parachute regiment when he was younger. So I am going to give her his cap badge to take on the jump with her, shes raised over £1300 for the hospice he spent his last few hours in.
@Punto …wow that’s an amazing time to do the run! You must be very proud of them both. I don’t think I’d have the nerve to do a jump, but giving her his badge to wear is a lovely idea! He’ll definitely be with you all 
x
@AKM …i still have days when I struggle. Its being here alone that’s so hard, i don’t cook meals either and live on salads. I go to the spiritual church too, normally every other Sunday and on those evenings i just come home and have a sandwich!
Ive had to ask my next door neighbour to look at a few things for me… my leaking outdoor tap and a dodgy kitchen socket… he’s an electrician thankfully! But these are all things that Jimmy would just do… i need to take some bits to the dump too … iv never done that before either! Some days are just rubbish arent they… but keep strong xxxxxxx
I enjoy cooking and make sure I have a good meal in the evening, I still cook for 2 so freeze one and then have a week where I use the frozen meals. You need to eat healthy maybe make some soup to have with a sandwich.
I am trying to do odd jobs myself and have decorated my living room and dining room myself something I havent needed to do for along time as Rob did it.
Hi @AKM @Stuandali
Just wondering how you’re doing?
Iv been ok…ish but had a bit of a rough day yesterday 
not sure why. I think its because i just feel I’ve absolutely nothing to look forward to!
I went out in the morning and brought a small carry on luggage set, just big enough for 4 days somewhere hot. But, now don’t have the courage to go it alone! Everything is so expensive and I’m sure they charge more as a solo traveller! I just don’t know if i can go anywhere on my own, it’s a huge step!
Iv started a pilates group every Tues and aim to see different friends every week but it’s tough. Oh and my beautiful 17 yr old moggy became suddenly ill, and i had to say goodbye to her too which was so sad.
I think I’m just feeling a bit down but wanted to see how everyone else is doing?? Xxxx
Any tips on plucking up the courage to book a few days away ?? Iwould go somewhere in the UK if it was hot!..i don’t think this miserable summers helping!! X
Hi Sable your so brave about going away alone I myself couldn’t because since the loss of my husband just over 14 months ago I now have anxiety and need company if I go out but as for youself going on the bus trips I’ve been told you meet that many people and I’ve known single people have a really good time so I wish you well on your little venture take care
Hi @Sable @AKM
Strangely enough I was just wondering how you are all doing now as the feed has gone quiet of late.
I totally understand your dilemma over going on holiday by yourself. I’ve booked a short stay but had to cancel twice as I just can’t face it on my own.
I’m going away this coming weekend with a friend to watch motorbike racing down south which I did with my wife last year. I know it won’t be the same but it’s a start.
It was to be Alison’s 70’th birthday a few weeks ago and it was an extremely hard day. Worse than I expected to be honest. I have also been keeping her memory garden in order and all the flowers are in full bloom. I get a lot of messages of support from friends who have visited her bench on our local cycle path which gives me a lift. I usually go twice a week to water and spend time talking to her, telling her what I’ve been doing etc. I also sat my motorbike test recently after not riding a bike for 40 years. I passed my test the day after her birthday and as you can imagine my emotions have been like a rollercoaster.
I also struggle with meal planning and find it hard to cook for one.
We have a solo holiday chat if that helps give you some ideas
I’ve travelled solo, and lots of others have as well. Its a nig step but once taken you will want to go on more trips.
I know exactly how you feel i too lost my beloved 6 months ago and and we went everywhere together i am now at a loss i cry every day when i come home from work i still expect my beloved to be there there getting my supper ready. I miss him sooo much im numb inside and like im on autopilot my life feels empty without him .I’m sending prayers to you hope and wish you well.
My year without Rob is 22nd July. Ive started a new job, gone away on 2 holidays and even bought a new car. I promised him my life would be to make new memories for my children and grandchildren to remember and also if there is an afterlife to share with him.
Life is hard, but we have to carry on.
I cry when I’m alone but wear the happy face when out as I found nobody wants to listen when they ask how are you and you reply struggling or lonley. I just say I’m fine nowadays.
Well done!.. did you go away alone or with friends/family.
Alone in January. And a coach trip with Shearings in May i knew one lady on it vaguely but only met her a few times. Im going away on my own hopefully in October and next June.
I’m so desperate to get away… just 4 nights to begin with… sorry to ask so many questions, but was it abroad? I want to go back to where me and Jimmy went every September in Portugal. I’ll feel safe there and know the area. Did you go to restaurants on your own and was it ok? … its just taking the first initial step!..jimmy always ssid the first step is the hardest, and how right he was!
I went to Glasgow for 3 nights after the funeral. I took the train but wished I’d driven as the journey home was a nightmare (avoid Sundays!). Booked a b&b separately and was a tourist every day. It was great, nobody knew me or my story, I ate in restaurants and pubs alone, not a problem. I needed the break.
Well done you 
… i went to a bar we used to go to in Eton and had a wine on my own, but it was a nice evening so sat outside !.. that’s a far as I’ve got going solo! I just worry in case i get anxious or something and make afool of myself!..i suffered with anxiety when i lost Jimmy and also had vertigo, so all that adds to my worries … its so annoying as i know i can do it! 
Of course you can. I always think, what’s the worst thing that can happen? It rarely does.