@akm… that’s what my wise old dad always says… he’s 100 next year! One door closes for a better one to open!..I truly hope so 
Thankyou everyone 
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I know same here … sorry my phone went flat … i wasnt even like i am now. I enjoyed everyday when my husband was here - it just completely changes your life doesnt it !! Hold on … it will get better … i feel just like you do ! We both have to hope life gets better !! Surely life cant keep throwing crap at us 
Xx
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No need to apologise I’m sure we all have off days. When I do I just stay home and do nothing. Probably the wrong thing to do but then I can file letters from the bank etc that are non stop at the minute as I deal with Alison’s estate. That gives me a purpose and is also a distraction for a while.
I started with an empty folder and now it’s full. I had no idea how complicated this all is never having experienced this before. So much to do and people to speak to. No doubt you have all had the same things to deal with too💔
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Bless you … did he ? I hope hes right xx
Yeh unfortunately we have ;( xx
That’s how I’m feeling. Just sitting and waiting for bedtime. I lost my soulmate exactly 7 days ago. I’m so raw and so numb
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@William112 oh I am so sorry . I hope you find some comfort talking to people on here . It’s such a terrible place to be . My sympathies . I am at 7 months and I miss him with all my body and soul
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@William112 its still so new for you. I think its 10 or 11 weeks for me now but still feels like only yesterday. I still cry every day, i write to him every day as it helps. I’m not sure when it gets better… I’m still trying to work that one out! All i know is I’m so very lost, very lonely and can’t believe that I’m now in bed by 8 every evening! I feel I’ve no life atm, as just nothing to do. I hate it.
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Aw … i know … well im.1 year into this and i still feel lost and alone … because nobody or anything has replaced the love i had for my husband … i hope it doesn’t stay like this forever but i just dunno what my future will bring and i think thats the scary part …we always felt so secure with our husbands didnt we … we had a future with them and now that has gone ! People told me just take it a day at a time , an hour at a time if necessary and thats what i do but still the whole thing is totally crap !! Xx
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I’ve just signed up for the Sue Ryder online bereavement councelling service …its a video assessment first and guess it goes on from there. Let’s hope it helps
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Well done !! My daughter did it online and it helped her …xx
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Well thats me 3 days in at work, albeit phased return for 5 hours each day for first two weeks. My colleagues have been good without being too in my face.
Had my return to work interview with my boss who says if I need to take a time out at any time I can. Just to go for a walk or whatever. This is fully supported by my HR department lady who coincidentally lost her husband 5 years ago to a sudden heart attack and was able to share some of her grief and ways of coping that she has developed.
I have been able to meet friends in the afternoon to go for walks even though its freezing up here in Scotland. Fresh air is good. I’m off for the weekend now and will walk each day either on my own or with friends.
I cried on the drive in this morning when a favourite song came on the radio. The sudden loss of my beloved Alison haunts me every day but I am trying hard to move forward one step at a time. x
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@Stuandali … well done you!.. and so lovely work are being supportive…unlike mine. Today, i asked what my redundancy package would be… she’s basically based it on the last 12 weeks… when Jimmy first became ill and i reduced my hours, then he died and so i obviously didn’t go in at all!.. how flippin cruel is that!.. she says she’s 'endeavored to be a fair as possible '!
Im flippin so upset and angry! Kick me when I’m down springs to mind!
I went for a long walk this afty, sat by a lake, it was flippin freezing and just cried!.. iv done so well these past 2 days and now this!.. no idea what to do now 
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Sorry again to hear this @Sable. Life is so cruel and then to have such an unsupportive workplace just adds to your stress.
I don’t know the answers to your work situation but emotionally please stay strong, remember the good times you shared and take small steps day by day or even hour by hour. Keep talking to anyone you can around you, family, friends and on here too. I feel we support each other even though we’ve never met before.
We will all come through this in our own way and at our own speed. Nothing will ever be normal again, it’s understanding what the “new” normal will be that I personally need to know.
I need routine in my life and by walking and meeting friends it all helps me.
Take care and keep sharing your thoughts and feelings x
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@Stuandali … I’m really glad that your workplace is showing respect and consideration for what you’re going through.
My workplace will provide a very phased return and then for a while after that I’ll be doubled up with a colleague so that I have freedom to step out if anything triggers me. I’m very fortunate with that. I was thinking of returning next month but the GP thinks I’m not ready yet. She knows the job I do, and she has been so supportive…
It’s freezing in my part of Scotland too so I have also been getting wrapped up and enjoying the fresh air.
I’m glad you’ve managed another stepforward x
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Go to ACAS for some advice ! Some employers are just ruthless ! X
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@Sable … I’m so sorry that you’re being treated like this. Compassion seems to be a concept that some employers don’t understand. I am fortunate indeed with my employers. Take care xx
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I took a year away from work in April to look after Rob the company were great they paid me full pay from January to April rather than the sick pay i was only entitled to as they knew times were difficult with Rob having a poor outcome from a failed operation. They have said I can go back any time but its a work from home role and I think I would feel isolated and even more lonely than I do now. Some employers are great but some are ruthless.
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Hi Sable thank you for sharing here what’s happening at your work place. I feel not many people understand what grief is actually and how to support anyone going through with such a loss, I think you can suggest them to have some education around it, they need to learn. I hope you have a good family and friends support around you, and we all here in every step of your grief journey, as I said before God is with you and there must be something better around the corner for you, keep going one step at a time and look after your self.
Stuandali I’m glade your work place are very thoughtful and supportive.
Love to all of you.
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Hi everyone… just checking to see how you’re all doing??
I’m ok…ish, iv been busy painting to keep my mind occupied. Iv decided not to immediately look for work as i don’t want anything i need training for… or in a big corporate company. My parents are in their late 90’s too, so i need something that i can quickly get away from if needed!
I managed today, to empty out Jimmy’s sock drawer!
…and his old work clothes that were covered in cement. I did cry though when i put them in the recycling clothes bin, but it’s a small start. Iv still not parted with his underpants yet! 
…small steps!
I also bought an audio book by Julia Samual, on Understanding Grief, and thinking i might sign up for one of the workshops that covers 12months . Iv heard nothjng from the sue Ryder one so not sure if there’s a waiting list as i think it was free.
But anyway… that’s where i am, just bumbling along. I am meeting friends for a meal tomorrow so am really looking forward to seeing them… I’m normally in bed by 8 atm!! Another thing, i was invited to a reunion that’s in February. Id like to go, i think, but have this big guilt thing, as if I shouldn’t be enjoying a night out. Is that a normal party of grief? Does anyone else feel like that? X
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