And rightly so! Come on! That has to be wrong to any decent person reading that!
Rise above. All you can do! But guessing it helps to say it out loud as sometimes the dreadful things that are done or said do make you question your own sanity, don’t they!
Shame on them I say!
Hugs x
@Brandon1
Nine months is still very early for you on this horrid path.
That feeling of emptiness is dreadful and the sadness I think will always remain.
It’s how we try n cope with it and one day we can but the next one we can’t.
I woke up at around 3.30pm this morning and could not get back to sleep so obviously the thoughts start and if John had been here he would’ve been so patient with me being a very restless sleeper and he would’ve got up and made a cuppa then sat talking with me..
Now…if he’d been all over the bed, ( he never moved ), I’d have been a right grumpy, grouchy bag…
How I miss those times and everything in between..
I hope you are ok..
Hi Sue life is so hard now, before I would go through the day with lots of rewards my wife’s arms would open wide to offer lovely hugs through out the day. I was very needy!!
What I wouldn’t do for just one now.
Wishing you all the best Tom
These post have made me smile. The unbelievable comments people make, the hurtful actions. I lost my father and my husband over two days. I couldn’t think of much more that could have been thrown at me. The following week, when word was out people’s reaction was of shock and horror and it was as if I had a terrible disease to be caught by them. I needed support not their pity. Some comments, like….. here if you need me, take care etc just didn’t wear with me. I was in total pain and shock, of course I needed someone. I shouldn’t have been expected to go to them and ask, they should have supported me. . People are so wrapped in their own lives. I’ve had nothing to do with them. No idea, no compassion. Sadly as said, it could be them one day
Well another day nearly done. So got the usual how are you today? What do they actually think? “Functioning is my answer” if they can’t see the look of my face, then they are stupid. And another one “we’ve got a friends funeral to go to this week “ and I care because? Why are people so stupid?
I know don’t you just hate that question, how are you??..but people don’t really understand how it feels to be the living dead..
I think a sign of todays society I am afraid.
Everyone’s too busy to stop and care!
Sometimes that can be they couldn’t possibly put off having their nails done for time for a friend/family member in need. The nails thing just an example of something I wouldn’t consider too important to cancel if someone needed me, could be a number of things.
Though there have been a few people that have gone beyond and by god I have been grateful that there are still some kind, unselfish souls around.
But mainly we have to deal with is torture alone and it is flipping hard!
I know what you mean my daughter in law always says she ishere for me but only if i go to there house they never come to mine even wedneday thursday friday i get my teenage grandsons from school but who ever is collecting them that night my don or daughterinlaw yhey dont come in my home they tx the boys to come out how is that being there for me
Oh no that’s totally so disrespectful 
Totally rubbish!!! That’s what it is!
I don’t know, what can you do.
We can’t change others or understand them alot of the time.
But in my mind that is so wrong!
Thank you thats what i think but there excuse is its couse im hostile and angry all the time
Sorry have to say it, punch them! And say ‘ yer I am angry, actually I have every right to be!’
I must stop in inciting violence on here!
But as I say it, it actually makes me smile!
Ooh Lord I am officially nuts! And I don’t care!
But still punch them!
When they ask me “how are you?” I’ve started replying something like “how are you doing? All well?” and change topic.
I am not going to answer “am ok” or “am fine”. I am NOT. I am not going to tell them “I hate my life, the day my husband died my world fell apart and I’d never known such awful pain as I do since he’s gone”. @Absent you are an inspiration. Yes, we are not literally going to punch them. Just mentally which will make us feel a bit better
Exactly!!! Fun to imagine though!
Take care and try to put them out of your already loaded, troubled mind! There is no room!
If I’m not fine, I don’t say it now. I say, not so good today, or struggling but trying. It has different reactions.
Think I may get a t shirt done! Just saying in bold print!
Don’t Ask!
Fiona
You are quiet today.
How are YOU holding up!
X
I can vouch for that, I’ve had the I’m here if you need anything or want to talk but they’re never there, they don’t contact me first or even bother to visit, they all know I’m on my own but it doesn’t make any difference, people can be really selfish sometimes, it’s obvious I’m feeling pain with my loss but they just carry on going about their business and I don’t get a second thought.
Unfortunately a lot of people are like this nowadays I think.
Very sad!
Hugs x