It’s all good
On this day 3 months ago I received the news off hubby pass on I’ve been very emotional and has been crying on and off at work today I was fine till two days ago I just started feeling depressed and down I can’t understand cause I’m always strong and positive I always look for the positive and the solution lately I don’t know what is happening to me
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It’s so awful we’re all in this dreadful situation, it helps me a lot being on this forum , I’m very lonely. My husband died before Christmas, he was told he had terminal cancer, exactly a week later he passed away. Today I had a check up with my dentist, I told her about my husband dying, she said I’m sorry to hear that, at least you had fifty years together. She seemed to think that made it ok. The pain I feel is almost unbearable. Sending love to all.
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Hi Patsy219
Sadly people have no idea what to say to you, and thdn they walk away if you start to get emotional. It is not their fault.
We are all lonely, but the issue is none of currently are interested in meeting anyone else. The irony is you are lonely, but want to be on your own, if you get tmwhat i’m saying.
Sorry for your loss, i lost my wìfe on 6th Januuary this year. Could never have dreamt how hard it would be.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my wife from AML Leukemia on the 2nd January this year.
She was diagnosed 1st week in July.
You will have all sorts of emotions going on inside you.
We had so many plans. We was getting married next August.
My wife had just turned 50 years old.
I Feel lost, very angry.
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Hi Treeman
Lost my lovely wife on 6th January this year. She had a liver condition for 23 years, but never once thought i would lose her.
She turned 62, on a ventilator, before her death.
We had made and to do so much, and visit so many places, as she loved travelling, but sadly those plans have gone.
I too get angry sometimes. I don’t understand what such a kind and wonderful person could have ever done to deserve it. I also don’t get what i have done to be eft alone carrying this amount of pain. I guess i will never know or understand. Too many questions with no answers.
Jrthorn and Treeman sorry both of you and everyone for your loss. I think your right Jrthorn, some people don’t know what to say, maybe my dentist meant well. It’s all the emotions, we go through them all, I still have times when I get very angry and I know it doesn’t do me any good. Things don’t seem to make sense anymore. We’re all going through this terrible pain.xx
I lost my husband Mark on the eighth of January this year, and I’ve found that unless they’ve been in this awful situation, it’s impossible for others to relate to what we are feeling and how devastating losing your partner is.
I have found comfort in this group, because we are all grieving and suffering the effects of losing someone who meant so much to us.
I send you my condolences and love xx
Burnsie66 how do we handle this? Yes, I definitely count my blessing for our Son, but at the same time it’s so painful watching him go through this. I know what it feels like to lose my husband and I imagine it feels the same to him losing his Dad. Our Sons birthday was this past Monday and that was horrible! It was 4 weeks this past Tuesday. I have so much anger and pain from losing him. I literally feel like it’s a horrible dream and I can’t wake up. I just don’t know how to move forward. My thoughts, prayers, and love are with you!
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Flints, I feel the exact same! I do find peace in talking to complete strangers, way more than friends or family, regarding this. I ONLY want to talk to people that are going through exactly what we currently are. You are absolutely right, unless they have lost their spouse or someone they love as much as I love my husband, no one can possibly understand. The days drag by and the nights are horrible. All I can do is go through our routine like we had everyday. It’s silly, but I tell him good morning and I love him and I hope his day is wonderful everyday, as if he were standing there. I find if I talk to him it comforts me… I know what his replies would be and I envision those exact words! My thought prayers and love are with you!
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Sorry for your loss, it’s so hard when they are our everything, I do exactly the same talk to him over a cuppa at breakfast I think it’s therapy but also feeling they are there with you like they always were, I posted a book earlier above, which I’m finding useful, l watch movies which we did together, sort of carrying him with me, I know at some point I’m going to have to move for myself but this is what I need, I’ll never let him go and neither do I have too, he’s the love of my life soulmate and always will be. Thoughts for everyone going through this terrible time, I do have a few me moments now in the day not always me and my husband thoughts which are constant and overwhelming, happy and sad, but they are fleeting my jumble of thoughts are always with the us. Everyday brings every emotion, it’s tiring, I’m 4 months in my body is trying now to recover slightly I feel it trying so the nervous system must be settling slightly after trying to cope from the 3 months before his death and then after. Wishing you and everyone some peace in your day today 
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Oh and yes forgot to say strangers I also find easier, I have felt quite angry and let down by family and friends response, avoidance or just can’t understand, some of the things they say shocks me, that’s why I am going to join the local support groups over the next few months to connect with people who knows how it is, I’m just worried they will be all be elderly I’m 56. There doesn’t seem to be anything in my local area.
Sorry off I go again, maybe talking on here is therapy getting it out my mind. I started writing down thoughts yesterday which was useful in a way thought it would help so they stop swimming around in my head.
The sky’s blue the birds are nesting in my house soffit, they are noisy happy, a fleeting moment I smile 
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It’s a small comfort to find so many of us going through the same thing and trying to cope in similar ways. My husband of 50 years died 6 months ago, it pains as much now as the day it happened. Every morning I greet him, I occasionally talk to him through the day and every evening, after missing him so much, say good night to him and hope that he can hear me. It’s an effort to cook but I try to cook the meals he enjoyed and I rerun all the tv shows and movies we watched together, it somehow makes us feel close. Warm regards to everyone feeling the dreadful pain and loss, we must carry on in whatever way we can as that’s what our wonderful partners would have wanted us to do. 
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@Julie333 hey julie im finding that too im getting short tempered which is not like me at all im usually chilled out as my linda would say even with her mum who im caring for now on behalf of my linda her daughter is a long way from us and i understand she is missing her mum a lot and has anxiety issue to before her mum passed but she is wanting me to move with her nan to her part of the country which logistically would be a nightmare as I’m now all alone except for linds very immobile mum of 85 and a wreck after losing my soulmate also finance side hasn’t been sorted either yet (insurance trying to get out of paying life insurance for linda) and she getting married in two weeks too but she doesn’t seem to grasp the work involved in selling up and moving to the other side of the country not inc my heart issues also its just feels like im walking on eggshells with her and it also doesn’t reflect how i feel leaving here as this was Linda’s dream place her paradise she called it the effort we both put in to get here to escape my estranged family and the animosity towards linda and me for falling in love and me to finally be with my soulmate but id feel like i was throwing it all away disrespecting all we had if that makes sense i agree on the local support groups linda was 53 nearly 54 when she passed i am ten years older but the groups ive looked into are 75 or older mostly so understand i never felt 65 ive always had a
Young outlook and linda said i never looked my age or acted it maybe thats one of the reasons she loved me but hope you do find some group that you feel more in tune with its nice seeing the birds in the garden again isn’t it lind loved her bird feeders and fed them daily esp her grey wagtails we have willywagtails she called them they have returned shame linda didn’t get to see them again she would have been so happy seeing them back 
beautiful to see but jeez it hurts she not here take care Julie hope you find something from martin in a sunny devon today 
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So sorry for your loss Julie. Just want to say, don’t worry about the ages in support group, I’m old and wish I had a group to chat with. Regardless of age we’re all suffering this terrible grief. This helps me a bit to be on this site as I’m dreadfully lonely. X
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I hope you find a group Patsy if not we’re all here, just chat to us and I didn’t want to sound ageist it’s just I didn’t want to look different out of place all eyes on me, different as I already feel like that now, just worried it will make me feel worse but I have to try get out there at some point, I’ve generally been housebound since July 24, so it’s probably more of a confidence thing. Phone counselling first then I’ll see about the Hospice group, I cared for my husband he died at home but apparently Hospice service is open to everyone here? I’m not sure if every area has this service but there isn’t anything else here. Might be worth a try for you?
Sending hugs it is lonely but we’re reaching out
Thank you for that Julie. My heart goes out to you. I understand the lack of confidence, it’s the same with me, I don’t go out very often but the last two days I’ve been for a little walk, the sun is shining and I’ll do it again later, don’t really see anyone as very quiet place where I live, think the fresh air does me good, I tell myself that anyway. So sorry you’ve been housebound for a while, is there anyone who could take you out, even for a little while.? You’re in my thoughts and prayers Julie. Sending you much love. XX
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Today I collected Marks remains, it’s like a knife to my heart, all wrapped up in a box, my soulmate and only true love, now just ashes.
I’m sorry if I sound self pitying, but I feel so sad and desperate, I know so many of you have had to do the same thing, and will know how much I am hurting. I miss him so much and want to be with him.
I hope when I feel strong enough I will go to the lands across the ocean and scatter him in the places he loved to be. Love to all of you going through this awful pain xx
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Flints, I know exactly how this feels. Dreadful doesn’t even begin to explain… I kept saying this is what it comes to, are you kidding me, a box?? 
we are here for you. We have each other and the comforts of conversation in knowing how this feels. I’m so sorry and sad for your loss. Hold on to your beautiful memories, they will not let you down. My thoughts, prayers, and love are with you.
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I picked up my husband’s ashes on new years eve and thought bringing him home would make it easier, but nothing changed in fact it just made me realise that this big strong man was never coming back to me.
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I was the same, I thought it would be comforting to have them, but it just didn’t feel right, so we decided to scatter them where he loved most in the world, he hated been confined, it would of made him happy to be free and outside in nature. Really glad we did it.
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