I was lucky because i took a video of him on our last holiday so ive heard his voice again 
have you got any videos you can watch ? X
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@Deb5
Yes, I have got one that was taken on his birthday last August. I arranged a surprise afternoon tea for him at home as he wasnāt too good. When I look at it now I can see he looked ill, I donāt know how I couldnāt see this at the time.
The last thing he says on it is āthanks Alā, thatās what he used to call me.
He was back in hospital the next day.
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Aw yeh i look at pics of my husband near the end and can see now how poorly he looked too 
and yet i couldnt see it at the time. I was too busy willing him to stay with me. Sleep well xxx
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Sadly you never get used to it, its a void that cannot be healed.
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Dogs are the most loving of creatureās ,they feel our pain and they fill our lives with joy.
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Hi! Its really sad to hear what you wrote. But I completely understand as it also happened to me, even with people I was sure would understand. At firsy I was really depressed and even angry at them- also relatives, yesā¦ But then I started to get used to the new situation and to limit the number of people I am opening toā¦But sill- I feel sometimes so tired with too many people or with the necessity of explaining myselfā¦I just think people, who didnt eperienced a loss hey just imagine how I feel, wha I need etc. They do not make an effort to simply ask- how are you now, what do you needā¦It is easier that wayā¦But there are a few people who I still can count on and who understand or just are by me ā¦I do hope you also have such people aroundā¦All the best, big hug and let us not give up!
My husband said he wanted me to be joyfulā¦So we have to be strong for those who we lostā¦love:-)
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Rhody, i couldnāt agree more 
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Deb, I got a puppy too, lost my husband last December and got my Westie puppy in June. She has quickly become my rock. She gives me love, gets me out and most if all gives me purpose.
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Yes lost my husband in december too ā¦ waited until 3 weeks after his funeral and couldnt stand the empty house so went off to get a puppy ! Thought sod it ā¦ theyre so lovely arent they dogs ā¦ as you say give you purpose and cos of her i met and talked to a few people on my dog walks xx
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My two dogs have certainly kept me going. Pretty sure i wouldnāt be here now, if i didnāt have them. Theyāre best.
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They really are ! I love my little lucy so much ! She means the world to me ! She is quite naughty because she is a puppy and she makes me laugh as well ā¦ xx
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Thats good to hear. Mine make me laugh everyday, no matter how low iām feeling. I wouldnāt be without them xx
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Yeh thats so true. Theyāre so loyal too arent they ? Bless them xx
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They are & they donāt judge. Love you no matter what & always there, no matter what. Give me a four legged friend, any day of the week. At least you know where you stand with themā:dog:
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Yep very true xxx
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I am truly sorry you are going through this.My husband died in May this year.I know exactly what you mean ,how you now live your life.In fact what is happening to you ,is happening to me.People left me at the time I need them most.It is painful to see my once friends going out and about all in the circle we were once in.I no longer get invites to anything.It feels like I am not even a second thought.Our children are good and I am thankful for them.There is absolutely no joy anymore.It is my birthday on Thursday.I am dreading it.He always made me feel loved.I miss his cuddles,him grabbing my hand and kissing it ,our kisses and our lives we had.I hate my life now.I hope you continue to write on here and vent.I wish you well.Take care x
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Iām in the exact same position as you, when my husband first died, most people spoke to me, one distant family member ignored me as if I was invisible, itās only been 2 & 1/2 years yet my family expects me to be ā normalā I am normal, if you can call grieving normal, itās not, as we all know only too well, itās a hidden ā illnessā if thatās the right word for it, I was always quite shy and reserved, my husband was the outgoing friendly one, now Iām asked why Iām sitting at home? People just donāt get it!
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An invisable illness is a very good description from where I am too.
Im only 10 weeks into this but its so very hard.
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My sympathies to you, 10 weeks is a place I no longer want to be, thatās just when you still need people and itās also the time when everyone forgets and carries on as normal, whereas I, you, we are still trying to figure out how the hell to survive, Iāve still not accepted that my husband has died, but I did read some advice which said donāt visit his grave too often? Sounds cruel but it makes sense when youāre first struggling with their death, not only have they died, but parts of us have too, even though I feel the most dreadful guilt about not going every week, itās easier for me to try and make sense of my loss at home, surrounded by his things, than to go visit his grave and feel the reality of it.
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