I have experienced a terrible day yesterday on the 4th month of losing my partner,it was like being taken back to when it happened .I sobbed bitterly and the ache in my heart is unbearable.When will the time come when I will feel in control again the emptiness is horrendous.
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I can relate to this. There doesnt even seem to be a trigger. Just out of the blue, this emotion sweeps over you.
Not sure how long, if ever, we get over it, but it certainly knocks you back and appears out of the blue.
Take care x
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Hello. I hope today is a better day and that you got through the weekend. The overwhelming emotions are painful and unpredictable. I can lose myself at the slightest thing, hold onto all the good times. Im week 13 ( not sure when we stop countingā¦) be kind to yourself.cliche i know.
A piece of advice i have read is that perhaps we begin to accept that we will never be quite the same again without our soulmates, but we will adapt, things will become a little easier and we will always love our partners and keep them close. Stay strong. I write down memories to hold onto them. Just trigger sentences and words. Also have a 5 min rant on paper when i feel sad and angry. It helps me.
Sending you best wishes.
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Thank you MickUK and Margorita so good to chat to you who knows what I am going through as your journey is the same.Yes emotions and triggers always take over unexpectedly ,we have to go through it ,do you also find night times very difficult.
Sending best wishes to you too.
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Hi,
Mornings and evenings can be difficult, especially when it gets dark early. Makes the evenings drag on forever.
Ive tried occupying my time but I cant seem to find any enthusiasm. I pick up a guitar, strum it half a dozen times, then place it back.
I keep getting told ātimes a great healerā but thats to be seen.
Take care x
Agree, morning and nights are always hard and tearful. I get through afternoons by taking a walk, grabbing a coffee for one, or sometimes a glass of wine for one. I wonder what people think when they see me on my table for one. Said Iād be ok alone as he worried about leaving me , truth is Iām far from ok but trying my best. Agree, It does help to chat and offer mutual support .
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Morning MickUK,Margorita we seem to be all experiencing the same thing,I do not now also believe that time heals,and I have reached the point when asked how I am doing I say I am not OK.I also find no joy in any activity and now we are having problems within the family structure and I miss him even more.I try to be thankful for the 45 years we had but even the good memories bring on the tears.
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What happens when the first grief emotions fade ,do I expect every day will just be loneliness,and sadness for what is lost? No one else can take or fill the place my wife has in my heart,is it just waiting as years go by until they stop and maybe we are together again in sprit, I realise no one knows ,what I am asking ,I suppose is what is the point of me dragging along until the
End comes !
Loss of wife
Pegg I know exactly how you feel in the first week of my grief I also cried and asked why I am left behind,yes there will be many lonely days and I guess we will all be waiting to be joined with our loved ones.I truly hope you will have some good days but also be aware of the first of birthdays ,anniversaries,Christmas etc as they are brutal.All the best and I hope you have a good support system in your family and friends.
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Thanks punch ,your name suits me! I feel like Mike Tyson has been punching me ,still is when I am on the ground,the site says I am not the only one
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Yes Pegg we all feel as if our hearts has been ripped out or we have been punched in the gut,I wish I could say it gets better but now I am not sure cos it is still difficult after 4 months,yes losing a partner is a very difficult road to travel,but I really hope you have better days take care.
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My husband died on September 2024, following his year long battle with Non Hodgkins Cancer, having been all clear for 18 months. No 2 days are the same, emotions all over the place and life will never be the same. Most people donāt know what to say to you and may even avoid you, thatās tough. We didnāt have any children, and Iām an only child so no family support apart from husbandās brother. I try to go out every day but it can be a struggle. I know there is no formula to cope with grief, we can just do what we think is right for us. Take care.
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Good day Maisie,my thoughts are with you,it is tough to lose a life partner and yes emotions will surprise you some days ok others brutal.Must be tough being an only child and now losing a partner please take care and know you are not alone with your struggles.
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Please donāt think me flippant, i lost my wife five years ago and i also burst into tears for no reason, but their not all sad memories some are quiet fond and happy oneās.
Stay strong.
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Itās 20 weeks tomorrow since my husband died. I say to him in my head āIāve survived 20 weeks without youā because thatās what it feels like, surviving, not living.
My husband died 3 weeks exactly after his cancer diagnosis and the trauma on top of the grief is horrific. I canāt wrap my head around any of it, and the pain of losing him still hurts just as much as it did back then. The pain feels like it should kill me.
I feel stuck. Itās too painful to look back, but too painful to look forward. We have a three year old little boy, and my heart breaks that he wonāt remember what an amazing Daddy he had, and miss out on all the things that my Husband wanted to do with him. Thank god for our son though, as I honestly donāt know if I could carry on otherwise. Sending love to everyone who has had a loss. Take it day by day, or hour by hour if you need to, one foot in front of the other xx
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I know youāve had a terrible loss in your life, but you have a son, a part of your husband that lives on. You sound stronger than you think. You said it one foot in front of the other, small steps will get you there. Stay strong.
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Nicola I feel your pain as time sometimes is irrelevent but I am sure having your lovely boy will give you purpose.Always talk to him about his dad and show him pictures will help that is what I am doing with our great grandchild who is also 3.today is difficult for me as I woke up crying because 4 months ago today was his funeral and the pain in my heart does not subside,all the best to you.
My husband died 18 weeks ago 10 weeks after being diagnosed with lung cancer. I feel your pain. The empty days are horrendous living in a complete fog. No purpose to get out of bed. Waiting for the day to end. He was my best friend for 42 years. We had no children also and I have no other family. I actively push people away as they say such ridiculous crass things. I try to do something small everyday which is like climbing a mountain. Someone referred to me as a Widow last week for the first time it stabbed at my heart. I hope eventually things will start to feel easier.
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Hello maisiedotes,itās a terrible time when we finally lose the one we love ,when you read all the letters and support that is give it sure is better than 90% of given by ā friends?ā It seems that most like to try to clamber on to this rock we have been slung onto by our being cast alone by the passing whether after sudden or long illness,the friends by what I have found say oh I knew you would prefer to be left alone ,or I would have asked you to ??
( whatever) but I knew you wouldnāt want to come ,umm howās that if you have never asked ? But here itās straight advice
Or support or just take strength as we are all in it ,my wife died about 8 weeks now ago ,about ? Yes I canāt bear to keep remembering the exact day ,now I have the flood of paperwork,tax man ,house insurance after my last lot we had for lots of years suddenly decided they didnāt want ours ,you see I realise I still say our not mine now I canāt just wipe her off,
I still have heart ripping grief then anger,now I keep having panic attacks about nothing just being on my own ,
I am fairly insular ,I donāt need clubs ,pubs or lots of people ,itās still a hit in my heart
Reallly heavily when I think of some of the things we did together,a play at the theatre maybe ,just a walk perhaps ,the simple things in life that have no meaning now ,itās turned 0500 again ,another sleepless night ,I miss a hug in bed ,just a hug and goodnight ,I havenāt had one literally for half my life as my wife had bad medical problems and breathing problems
She always said she was easier on her own in bed ,so I took to the spare room ,for so many,many years I lost count! How I wish she had given me just a few ,to late now ,seems ,life becomes a habit even when you donāt wish for it ,as it seems to be you have to try to trudge through what has been given to us now as the heavy price
For the joy we had once, If there is some form of afterlife ,who knows until we get there , the one we have lost in our life ,do they share the same pain as we do because they to have lost the one they loved as much ?not sure why I thought of that ,all I can say to Maisie and all of us ,take each day as it comes ,it is certainly
Not like the fluff the television puts out ,
Pegg
I know how you feel. I received some correspondence in the post in which I was refered as the widower. That really hit home.