@1983 Thank you for the hug & right back to you xxx
I would have loved a pet but canāt with my ever worsening arthritis. Bless all the rest of you and take care xx
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Aw couldnt u get a cat ? No walks etc. You can get from animat charities you know xxx
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We have always had cats. We lost our last one over 2 years ago and he was irreplaceable. We have a busy road in front and fields at the back but To y only stayed in the garden. To be honest I already have a broken heart and canāt are much - I adore all animals, but those days have gone for me now xx
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All our cats have been rescues. I have also done my will for free through cats protection (just got it back last Thursday) and gave it and the other 6 charities we have always supported a large donation each. So yes I have always been an animal advocate so well aware which is why we always rescued animals. Xxx
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Hi dietcokegirl84
I totally get it the overwhelming way that washes over you my hubby passed away October gone and every day is absolutely awful funnily enough I have tried certain things of maybe making me step one foot in front of the other one was joining a Choir as I do like singing however when that overwhelming feeling ascends on you I cannot bring myself to go and I actually bought a puppy in the way of thinking that my hubby always used to tell me if anything happened to me he would get himself a little doggy plus everyone was agreeing in the fact it would give me so much love and something to make me face the days however in all honesty like you I have found the puppy so demanding so exhausting even though the love I have for little Stevie is wonderful am just empty inside I feel like an emotional wreck saying to myself what is the point constantly so yes it is hard work but I do keep thinking I have to keep going to look after him he needs me but inside like you say the raw grief eats away at your heart sending hugs 
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Thats so true. Three weeks in now with new puppy and heās a good dog but so time consuming and demanding. I think I read another post saying everything right now is a million times harder than it would be under normal circumstances and its v true. I love him dearly and I feel its him and me against the world but heās hard work. Had his last jab today so can walk him next week so hopefully will be better then.
Had my daughter and son in law home at the weekend. It just passed in a blur. Lovely to see them but I know they have their own lives and I hate dumping my grief on them.
Also spoke to my m in law today saying Iād like to visit end of Mar around her b day. She luves four hours away so long journey. Shes 88 and riddled with cancer and i cant just forget her after knowing her for 40 years.
The sun is shining here and Iāve been out training the dog in the garden. All the bulbs Steve and I planted are growing well. I cried looking at them knowing he wouldnāt see them. Sometimes it just creeps up on you.
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Iām so sorry for your loss, my thoughts and condolences too you & family, Iām grieving my mum itās been a year now and the pain is horrendous, there are unfortunately no quick fix around the hurt & pain and I guess time will be the biggest healer. I suffered the loss of my boyfriend back in 95 he died 6 days become our baby was born. It was my mum who got me through that loss and now Iām remembering all the words of advice and encouragement she gave me , I try too remember these but nothing helps , my mum had a massive stroke when covid was at its worst and find so many things that were not done correctly Iām left with so many unanswered questions. I donāt make plans anymore I live on a daily basis but Iām struggling so much I have serious health issues myself and I feel Iāve given in I feel I have no fight left . My thoughts are with you god bless. X
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Thats so heartbreaking. I go about my day and its like im living in a blur. I was asked for my title today - i said Mrs then suddenly it hit me again - i used to be a wife, i still feel like a wife but now im a widow. 8 weeks ago we were on holiday and there was no sign of what was to come. Like you, so many questions why. Why him, why us, how, did i miss something and how am I going to carry on. As i said to my twenty something daughter its like someone has ripped my heart out but im still living and I donāt know how.
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You poor loves, itās so hard isnāt it. People tell you to do this and that, this and that arenāt always right for us, or it just isnāt the right time. We have to do what we can, when we can, not what somebody else thinks. Great big group hug everyone, wish it could be in person, but letās just close our eyes and group hug xxx
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Amen to that.
Anyone out there in Lincolnshire or nearby ?
My puppy is now 12 weeks just had his 2nd vaccine so we now taking him for first walks it does help as it tires him out and he isnāt so full of beans haha anyhow that is totally true everything does seem a million times harder but hopefully now you can go walking with him it gets that tadge bit easier
I do the same I hate telling others how I feel with my grief as it seems I would spoil their happiness in a way always thinking of others but to be totally honest I never seem to get that back because being truthful no one asks me now how I am feeling both family and friends 
That is good of you to visit especially in the circumstances and yes after 40 year how can you forget.
Sounds lovely having Sunshine around you and memories of what was planted with the two of you but the tears do always flow when you think of how it is without them and how it really should have been with them.
I once read that you are still a wife your just a wife now with a husband who has wings Take care
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Tears always flow and always so near the surface. Doesnāt take much to hit a memory and off I go again lol.
Yes, we were mid 50s. Iād taken a career break for a year so we could travel and Steve was retiring in four years and we had so many plans. All just gone.
I have booked a holiday for Aug to somewhere Steve didnāt want to go and Iāve treated myself to an upgrade as a gift to myself for surviving this shitty time and because its my first holiday on my own.
Steve and I did everything together. We knew each other so well and talked about everything. So hard not to have that support.
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Yes me also being in my 50s now this devastation loosing him so unexpectedly we should have been doing all the things we planned to do but it was all taken away but good for you taking yourself on a holiday hopefully it does you good.
My hubby was called Steven and that is the hard part we did all together he was my best friend knew each other so well talked just like youās about all and sundry that is what I cannot seem to get through to people it was not just loosing my hubby it was loosing my everything:-(
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@Woman-50 Love that husband with wings to you and dietcokegirl we were both on our 50ās also, we had worked hard renovating several houses, just had ours to finish and then we were going to travel. But one would have been a honeymoon! Weād been together 40 years then when my family died I said I never wanted to get married but we decided just before COVID, which then put a holt to it, but this was going to be the year, tears are tripping me up, plus today has been hard, had several joiners round giving quotes to fit a new kitchen, which would have been our next job. Could really do with a hug noe
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Its so hard to realise all those dreams gone. People say oh but you can still do it but its not the same and how do we do this new life without our loved ones.
Digby dog is keeping me busy. Heās settled in well and Iām finding his company is soothing in a strange way. I know he depends on me and I love it when he snuggles up to me. I feel wanted and loved.
People are so insensitive. I think companies are so cold-hearted. Iāve lost interest in things i really enjoyed before. Just wonder if Iāll ever be back or thereāll be any of me left after all this.
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You already know that I am
Take care all - hope everything works out for you all. Xx
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Aaw Bless you Sulane sending a great big virtual hug 
It is so devastating the loss but having your plans all taken away is extra heartache and how awful not to have gotten the honeymoon you wanted 
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