It is very hard all your dreams being taken away and I must admit I do get quite miffed when others talk about things they are doing together and plans they are making even to the point in my head I have thought “Ooh how nice to be able to do that” What a lovely little name Digby 
Oh tell me about these companies I find them cold hearted to deal with no empathy at all and I often wonder that myself am I ever going to be that person I was before as it seems impossible at present.
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Woman-50
I know exactly what you mean !!!
I’d been in a couple since being a teenager and it was just normal.
I have to admit i look at couples and feel jealous angry and annoyed at them if they are sniping at each other.
Of course, valentines day tomorrow and although we long since celebrated it, its really urked me this year. Its not being special to someone anymore.
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Yes me and my hubby never really celebrated Valentines day as he always used to say I do not need one day to tell you I love you even that made me feel special it was his thing to say to me but I will not hear that now so I totally agree not feeling special to that someone anymore has really gotten to me.
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@dietcokegirl84 …I’m in Cleethorpes so not too far from you. I lost my lovely husband 8 and half months ago … he was 69, fit and well, or so we thought. Went out on a bike ride, had cardiac arrest and never came home again. The shock is horrendous, hang in there … better days will hopefully come soon.
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Audrey thats terrible. Such a shock.
I can now see tiny blessings in how Steve passed. We had just 3 weeks between diagnosis and death but we had 3 weeks which must seem alot of time to you. So sorry to hear how suddenly you lost your husband.
In that time we enjoyed Christmas as a family. We organised finances, passwords and the like and said everything we wanted to say. In the end Steve had a massive brain haemorrhage caused by his brain tumour and hopefully he knew nothing and just slipped out of consciousness.
Its how quickly it happened and how much theres been to deal with that has shocked me.
One day this life. Next day a whole different world.
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You poor thing ! I only had 6 weeks before the end came and that was bad enough 
oh life can be so cruel … my husband said why is it always me !
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You lovely ĺadies ! My heart goes out to you and i feel your pain xx
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TBH I didn’t really accept it for about 3 months…and that was mainly because there was so much to do. Whilst I had something to focus on I just got on with it. It was after I had completed everything that I hit a brick wall …and wow, did I hit it hard.
Now , like many on here will say, it comes in waves …one day you think you are coping really well and something really insignificant will trigger a memory …just ride the wave when that happens. There are brighter times ahead. We will never, ever forget our loved ones, Stephen and I had 47 years together,and life without him is hard to bear, but it does get a little more bearable …though I’m sure at the minute that seems impossible to you.
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Thank you Audrey.
I take two things from your post.
Brighter days are ahead and it becomes more bearable.
I always say nothing in life is permanent. Time does move on. Life will go on. I will live again.
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Hi @Audrey54
So similar to my fit and well 60 year old husband who went to play football last April and never came home. Coronary embolus.
Sending hugs xxx
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Thank you @KarenF … the shock of that day is still burnt into my brain, …the police at my door and being taken to hospital with blue lights on … seeing him on the trolley in A&E I knew then that he was not there … but had to endure 5 days in ICU with him hooked up to a breathing machine whilst they carried out all their tests. But, it did allow time for all our family to get back and see him and be with him when they turned the machines off…at the time I couldn’t see that as a blessing, but I do now.
Hugs back at you … and anyone else that needs one x
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How tough to go through, my heart goes out to you @Audrey54
I didn’t see Richard until three weeks later when he was moved to the funeral home. The hospital didn’t really have the facilities to have people in their mortuary while he waited there to get the post mortem done. Between his death and the funeral was the longest my darling was ever away from this village. I was so pleased to have him back here where he belongs. 
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Yeh i certainly does cone in waves !!!its so hard when it comes though isnt it ? Knocks me off my feet i keep going back in time and thinking why didnt i make him go to drs earlier or realise there was something wrong ? But he was a stubborn man and like most men didnt like going to drs. But i wish he hsd done it for me though i wish he had xxx
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I feel for you.
Steve went to the doctors about his headaches-only symptom he’d had and they said it was stress and have some time off work. They did blood tests and everything came back fine. Little did we know he had stage 4 brain cancer. So, as much as we nag them and get them there eventually sometimes nothing can be done and you mustn’t blame yourself or ask yourself questions what if although I’ve done it many times.
We just want them still to be here don’t we.
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Cockapoo … oh no the flipping painful valentine’s day has started !!! Thanks media for making everybody who just lost there husband feel rubbish silly people ! Going OTT as per usual like they do with everything in this country x
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Thank goodness this is one day that has no affect on me … neither my husband nor I celebrated the day … he thought it was a day of commercial nonsense …and I can’t say I disagree x
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Deb5 I have went over and over this many times since loosing my hubby WHY? did I not ask this that the other on taking him the first time to hospital WHY? did I not question things that I now see as not being right as times I was fobbed off with things I said long story but our local hospital is absolutely terrible in treating patients and I have heard so many stories but actually been in the forefront with my hubby’s treatment at this place that I had it wrote on his medical records he was not to be admitted into this place if anything went wrong I have no trust or faith in them lo and behold poor soul actually passed away in there having been told by ambulance people who came for him that by law we have to take him to the nearest A&E which was that awful hospital I stood my ground to no avail so it was taken out my hands and I add that to my many WHY’s also 
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Yes i agree ! We were the same ! But still annoying when they start going on about it
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@women50 I didn’t know by law that they had to take them to hospital. When I woke up to Mark making a horrible noise, he wasn’t I’ll or anything & I thought he was having a bad dream, I shook him and it went threw my head stop it Mark, it’s not funny (why? I’ll never know because if we had bad dreams we never did that & the more I think about it I don’t know if I can ever remember Mark having a bad dream, I think it was always me!) I screamed and rang 999 was told there was a big queue, I said I didn’t think he was going to make it, I ended up doing CPR while I waited, I thought I had lost him at the time, then the ambulance crew came & I thought he’d make it, but I should have know it took 2 hours to get him in the ambulance (there was 3 ambulance crews working on him) I was told originally I would be travelling in the back with him but it was full of ambulance people so I was in the front, I should have realised but I still thought he had a chance, we were going to the hospital & everyone I knew once at hospital made it, but in less than 2 1/2 hours from waking up they switched the machine off. I still feel guilty because I know he would have hated to live and be disabled and he always said he would rather be dead, but I don’t honestly know if (and thank God I wasn’t given the choice of switching the machine off) if I would have been strong enough to switch it off. My dad had a stroke which effected his speech and walking but I saw an old neighbour who’s just a few years older and he has hardly any speech, and boy that made me think. Its really tough for me at the moment as it’s my birthday tomorrow and this will be the first year O don’t get any cards from any family members (all my family have died) and of course my darling Mark, I will certainly be glad when it’s over!
I am so sorry you have lost your love no words can ever begin to make it feel easier but yes when I called 999 and they sent the ambulance for my hubby after examining him they decided to admit him and it was then that I explained the situation of not having him taken to our local hospital because of everything they had done to him previously but the Ambulance guy said am so sorry but if we decide to admit them we have to take them to the nearest A&E which was that said local hospital so really it was taken out my hands which haunts me.
Try to look after yourself I know easier said than done but take care.
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