Loss of my Husband

I just want mine back. Im so sad.

3 Likes

Hi @Moi1 Iā€™m like you I just want my husband back. Unfortnately, for us, we know that cannot be. My heart aches for us all. I know we have to carry on but I am finding every day so much harder than the day before. I just miss him so much.X

2 Likes

I agree. The days are getting harder. Like all of us I just want my precious husband back. And like all of us, I too realize thatā€™s not possible. But I know everyday is one day closer to us being together again. My heart just aches.
Karen

3 Likes

Hi @BigL @Guineapig65 & @Camille58
Firstly to say how sorry I am that you are with us here, somewhere we all wish we didnā€™t need to be. You have each lost the most precious person in your lives after many years together and will no doubt be in shock. The early days are simply horrendous and we cannot imagine how we will live one day without them, never mind the rest of our lives.
My husband was only 60 when he died last April and had not been Ill at all so the shock was complete. The acceptance that he was really gone was a huge hurdle to overcome but I believe it is the brains way of protecting us at the start - to believe this canā€™t be real, itā€™s some sort of nightmare. Once we get that into our heads the fear of life without them settles in so donā€™t worry if you seem to get worse with your tears and grief before there is any glimmer of coping better.

For me, ten months after, I DO have a life without him, which I wouldnā€™t have believed I could in those early weeks. Itā€™s not the life I want of course but I am beginning to go to activities I did on my own before and even enjoying those. For me the things I canā€™t face yet are the things we did together so theatres and holidays are currently a no go.

I use my determination to make him proud of me to get things done - even if there are times I can imagine him looking down and saying ā€˜what the heck do you think you are doing?ā€™ or ā€˜thatā€™s not how you do that.ā€™ But, I get the fire lit, I bring in the logs, I looked after the tack sheep we had on his land over the winter - not knowing what on earth I was doing. Last summer I worked on the house to sand and revarnish window frames at the back - the front will get done this year I hope. I will not let grief win and hope I can support others on here in beginning a different, albeit much sadder life. I donā€™t imagine ever getting over this loss but I believe I can learn to carry it better in time.

Sending love to you all.
Karen xxx

6 Likes

You have shown me there is a path Iā€™m going to get on it too. For my lovely man I will do my best to carry on.

3 Likes

@BigL - I intend to be here to support as well as be supported by this great community so Iā€™ll be pleased to see how you manage. We all get times it is harder but we are here for each other at those times as well as to celebrate the successes we manage.

I hope one day to be able to tell you all I went to see a show or something. One day!
Hugs xxx

4 Likes

Hi everyone, im really struggling, i just want him back so much. Im 5 months in and its getting harder! I really want to make him proud by getting out for some runs but just cant motivate myself. Tomorrow is another sh##y day but thanks to your inspiring posts, particularly @KarenF will try and put my running shoes on. X

4 Likes

Such a beautiful, thoughtful post. Like you, I do things around the house, both inside and out. Things my husband would do, or tell me ā€œIā€™ll take care of thatā€. When I do yard work, I ask him how it looks. Also like you, I cannot face the things we always did together. Will I ever ab able to, time will tell. It is a different life, and certainly not one we wanted, but one we have to move on with the best we can.
Love and peace, Karen

4 Likes

Not sure youā€™d be running here tomorrow @Skip - we have snow!!!
I do hope you can do something which makes you feel good about yourself. We all need that donā€™t we?
Hugs xxx

3 Likes

Be proud of everything you are doing @Karetired , your husband will be. Xxx

4 Likes

@Skip lace up those running shoes! I began walking several weeks ago. Do I go as often as I would like to, no, but I go when I can manage to do so. Getting ready to walk today. Some days like yesterday, I got up, had coffee, went back to bed and cried looking at my precious husbands picture. I try to accept those days, remaining hopeful that tomorrow will be such as I can lace up my shoes. We stand in support of one another.
Karen

6 Likes

Thanks @Karetired i say each evening right tomorrow ill go out for a run and then tomorrow comes and i just wanna stay in bed, or on the couch. Well done for getting out, especially in this cold weather. Its, just so hard but iā€™ll try again tomorrow xx

1 Like

Thank you for your support @Karetired xx

Ok @Skip, you have conquered the first step, you are thinking about it. Remember when you couldnā€™t even do that. I sure do. Today I got out there, weā€™ll see what happens tomorrow. Itā€™s a long difficult journey, all we can do is what feels right in the moment. We are all here for each other, thank goodness for that.
Peace and love, KarenšŸ‘

6 Likes

@Skip Did you get out for your run? Itā€™s been a bit wet up here lately but today looks nice outside my window. I think Iā€™m a bit out of running at my age but Iā€™ll walk along the coast on Merseyside today. Love, support and encouragement :man_running:xx

Hi @Mike75 my dad got admitted to hospital on monday, i had to ring 999, and brought back awful memories. We went to the same a and e dept as Bri was taken. Hes now been admitted and as my mum doesnt drive, ive spent each day split between the hospital and bobbing home to sort out my doggy so no time for a run.
However, i did play for my football team on sunday and was awarded player of the day. Bittersweet, and had a proper sob in the car going home as he would of been so proud and we would have had a few drinks to celebrate.
Thanks for asking @Mike75 and hope you enjoyed your walk today. X

1 Like

@Skip So sorry to hear about your dad. That must have been traumatic going through the same place your Bri was taken. You were brave to go to the football and they would both be proud of you.
I did get my walk but got wet in a shower. Thatā€™s this place for you.
Thinking of you in this worrying time. Love and support xx

1 Like

@Skip well done on the football. Brian would be on proud of you for even going, never mind the award.
Bet your Dad will be too if he is up to hearing about it.
Sending love
Karen xxx

4 Likes

@Skip Thinking of both you and your mum. You both have my love and support xx

1 Like

Thanks so much @Mike75 and @KarenF. I feel guilty as ive not had time to think about Bri this week, just back and forth to the hospital and trying to support mum. I did have a guiness for him last night, he always celebrated paddys day.
Love to everyone

2 Likes