A funny story is - my grandmother made up her birthday 
she didnāt have a birth certificate so she decided to share my grandads birthday! They were best friends, it is cute and quite funny haha x I donāt know why she didnāt know her birthdate but she was in her late 80s x
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@Anna_321 & @Sienna1
What a beautiful way to say how we would be feeling if we were to be reunited with our mums, who would not want that for our mums? The grief has so many layers and so much depth, one minute I feel so deeply overwhelmed with my own grief, that to see this other aspect of mum with my dad, catching up on so much I wouldnāt even know where to start explaining on here and to be with her own mum and dad does give me peace and and a warm heart, albeit broken 
xx
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I have been thinking about this too, being fake and optimistic at an interview is not something I can do either ! I was thinking maybe just be truthful but I guess it depends on the job youāre going for ! I donāt even know what I want to do anymore
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I love a good book with depth and something to have faith in, thanks for the tips, Iāll look to get a copy.
Diana cooper is an author that I have always found relatable, easily accessible at a good Waterstones
Thought Iād share x
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I would love to work in the cancer charities which helped my mum, but I feel way too sensitive for that right now- what use would I be if I breakdown crying trying to help others! One day I hope I can, as that would mean a lot to me x my mum wanted to help people with cancer, she had all these ideas x bless her soul, even when she was unwell she was so optimistic and kind x
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Thank you x I will also have a look at her books š©· it is difficult to read but I find even trying a page a day helps take the pressure off, form of escapism. Music makes me emotional, I did try it as I love music but I end up crying every time!
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Seriously, this is super cute and one of todayās olive branches to grab hold of and think of that moment, smile, feel the love, and the wonderful things they brought you in life 
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Your words made me smile x
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Sienna, my mum had the biggest heart and the biggest struggles in life but Iām so very grateful, she gave me the biggest strength and heart. It sounds like your mum did you too and you @Anna_321
The 3 of us appear to be gifted with our mums hearts, strengths and many more things we canāt buy in life.
I bloody hope that theyāre all sat somewhere together looking down and seeing how strong we all are and how we have come together, getting each other through xxā:kissing_heart:
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Thatās so lovely @VictoriaB1, it has made me cry (though it doesnāt take much to do that these days 
) 
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Anna, tears of love and seriously, theyāre watching down on us all and proud that we are finding ways to get through life, day by day 
I can honestly say, and say it with gratitude, messaging you and Sienna this past few weeks has given me strength, and a belonging, and the belief that Iām not alone in this. Thank you both
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I feel the same @VictoriaB1 & @Sienna1.
When I joined this forum I was (& still am) in such a dark dark place. You both have your immense pain but are able to find it in you to show kindness & compassion. That really is something. 
Itās hard to cope with the unrelenting pain of this grief & itās also hard to be so open with those around me who are trying to support me. I know that the truth of my pain would be too much for them (especially my sisters) to handle when they have their own pain to process. Iām literally not able to deal with anything. Everything is a big deal now & that was never me. Itās like I no longer live. I just exist.
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@Anna_321 @VictoriaB1 I feel that Iāve made two new friends x š©· my partner knows about you both, he knows I speak to you and is supportive and encouraging too x you both match exactly my own thoughts and feelings, itās like a reflection. I havenāt been able to be so open with anyone and I appreciate the understanding and kind words which I know are heartfelt, and not just empty words. Thereās a mutual understanding and respect.
I agree maybe our mums did this for us, I do believe we meet people for a reason in life, and this is one of those- it has to be x
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I totally agree, everything for a reason. My fiancĆ© knows about you both too, sheās probably relieved that I have someone to talk too. The impact my grief has is not only on me, but unfortunately my grief overwhelms anything and everything else in my life right now xx
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It must be a relief for your fiancĆ© knowing you have people to talk to x I know it is for my partner, he had never been to a funeral, the first was my mumās and heās never experienced grief, except his pet, but he said he is learning through me and he does everything he can, but to understand it when you have never experienced it is hardā¦ still he doesnāt say silly things people usually say and lets me be the way I want to be! (Luckily) otherwise I donāt think anyone would want to be with me in this state !
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He sounds very much an absolute solid for you, and that is so great to hear, we are so lucky. My fiancĆ© has been my absolute rock, held me up, let me be me, good and bad days, she gives me a very calm reaction to whatever my day throws at me. Iām lucky and my mum absolutely loved her. Weāre getting married this year. As Iām sure you can both imagine, my heart is totally split in two but Iām trying my best to get involved in the planning, Iām not getting very far with it 
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Some days I donāt even want to get up
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Iām trying to see it as a massive green flag for me to carry on with life x
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Massive congratulations @VictoriaB1! 
That really is brilliant news & though it will be bittersweet to get married without your mum she would not want your world to stop. She left our world knowing you had your partner in your corner & that she had your back x
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I also feel that I have made two friends @Sienna1 & @VictoriaB1 
& in such a short space of time. You can tell a lot about someone in how they can be so kind when they are feeling broken themselves x
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