No they don’t understand what’s going on with you & because they are wired differently & have differing grief responses in all honesty they really never will.
Do what you need to do & by the sounds of it you have a smashing partner who gets you. That is a blessing! 
I too believe that the counselling should really be able to help you now. It will be tough going as there are no quick fixes. Living in such a heightened state is bad for our bodies as well as our minds. This will be the first step in you taking back control of your life.
Thank you @Anna_321 you’re so right it’s really not healthy for us to live on edge constantly. In this state our bodies are more reactive to protect us I guess x I’m having a coffee now 🩷 how has your day been ? X
Hi @Anna_321 he doesn’t do much, and is stuck like me, but the difference is he has a lot of regrets, he wasn’t very supportive towards mum throughout her life, however when she got ill, he did start looking after her for the first time ever.
He missed a lot of things when we were growing up and when we talk about memories he can’t relate as he didn’t want to be a part of it at the time.
It’s so important to do things and make memories with our loved ones, just like you do with your nephew x I think that’s the most important thing in life, I value that more than anything x
Hope everyone is ok today, what are you doing /how are you ?
@Ally6 @Simon303 hope you are both looking after yourselves with the basics as best as you can… x
Hi, i am broken, numb, upset, everything that goes with grieve. I lost my mum on nye. My dad is with us still living in in his bungalow where he lived with my mum. My mum was 81yrs old she had copd. My mum practically tried her best to get through things since the lock down. Even know i am grieving, i am concerned for my dad as he looks lost. The family have been with him. I am staying for a couple of weeks. I just dont know how to move forward or weather i am doing the right thing for my dad xx
Nobody else seems to understand this, my brother thinks the opposite and told me that I need to be there to listen, it doesn’t cost anything etc, but I just can’t. Like you said it’s a massive hole and I can’t be fake and listen to other people’s issues. I used to, I guess that’s where people are finding it difficult. They used to ask me for advice and help as that was the type of job I had, but now I just cannot do it.
I am ever so sorry for the loss of your mum x it is a massive loss in life, as you can see from this group chat, we are all here to support each other, so that’s a great step you have taken x 🩷
I think giving your dad company at home is extremely supportive, it must be very lonely there without mum. I am sure that is one of the most comforting things you can do by just being there, unless he says he doesn’t want that…I have found that every family member deals with it differently.
Maybe help with things like making meals, shopping so he has the basics in his fridge and cupboards and telephone him when you are unable to go see him, just to check up on him. Do you live far from your dad?
This is a major loss in your life and everything will feel like it’s been turned upside down, your mum sounded like a real fighter, especially being ill during covid is a challenge in itself…
Thanks for asking @Sienna1, im currently struggling with headache today so am up to my eyes in painkillers 
I can understand your reaction to the unexpected visit from your aunt and uncle. People dont understand the amount of effort both consciously and subconsciously it takes to process grief and that even sitting listening to someone else can be exhausting, let alone having to give advice. I picture it like im carrying some massive heavy rock thats just taking all my effort to hold it, then someone saunters up to me and wants to chat about the weather. Theyre oblivious to the bl**dy great boulder im holding but my arms are getting longer by the second and i simply cant chat to them about the flipping weather, “cant you see im trying to carry this massive rock right now?!” 
Oh that’s very tough @Sienna1.
Regrets are a terrible thing & just eat us up from the inside.
We never think we will run out of time to make amends & then suddenly it’s too late. 
Oh @Niks7089 I’m so sorry for your loss. You’re so newly bereaved & everything you are feeling is a normal reaction.
Your poor dad is in shock. Make sure you both eat as your appetite & normal habits will all fall by the wayside.
Do other family members live with your dad?
You describe it perfectly @Ally6
I’m exhausted just from the effort of being alive.
Drink lots of water too to try to clear your head. Hope you feel better soon.
@Sienna1, I struggle to be around people now. They just drain me. Even before I did not like people popping by without notice. I don’t even like unexpected phone calls.
I absolutely love that analogy and it is so true that’s exactly what it is x brilliant, I’m going to explain it like that next time x 
I really hope your headache goes away soon x drink plenty of water and fluids x
Exactly so true x
@Anna_321 I agree with the phone calls too, I don’t answer as they can leave a voicemail if it’s urgent, usually it’s a cold caller or scammer! I was getting anxious over the Tesco delivery yesterday, I know it’s ridiculous…
Hi
Thank you for your message. I really dint feel like eating, it makes me feel sick. My dad is eating, which is good. Regards to anyone living with my dad, no there isnt. There were just my mum & dad. My brother lives 20 mins down the road, i live an hour 20 mins. My son is an hour. My son will be moving to Canada in may x
Try to eat a little bit @Niks7089, even a piece of toast. You may not feel like eating for some time to come.
Can your dad cope living on his own with the family visiting often?
Anna is right you need to try and eat something small to keep yourself going, but I totally understand that sickening feeling. I was constantly eating extra strong mints throughout to control that nausea.
I was having half a croissant or toast with tea in the morning and that would keep me going. I did it mainly as I know my mum wouldn’t be very happy knowing I wasn’t eating, she used to say to us as kids and adults that you need to have something before you leave the house, I always remember that even now. So I try to have a few sips of tea and toast.
It’s so difficult I know, physically swallowing the food is not easy.