Thats lovely @VictoriaB1 - thank you. Im trying to be grateful for all the Christmasses past rather than fear the Christmas to come. Im sure your Mum would be proud 
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Well done @VictoriaB1
Itās two years since I lost my mum 27th Dec. I feel myself getting more and more anxious with the Christmas now coming but like you, am trying to be grateful for the years I had with mum on this earth. Itās so hard and Iām sure your mum is so proud of you.
Love to everyone especially over this couple of weeks. 
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Thinking of you @PaulaE, I can fully relate to the anxiousness, you have managed to get through 2 years and I donāt doubt that your mum will be proud of that fact alone, itās the biggest challenge I think life can throw at us. Sending love 
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Bless you @VictoriaB1
What a challenging club we are all in.
Take care of yourself. Our mums are watching us to make sure we are at least trying. X
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Had quite an emotional day today havnt felt great in myself just wanted a hug off my mum and couldnāt have cried most of today and itās just made me feel worse I have so much on my shoulders regarding Christmas day that I just want to walk away from it all and everyone I just want my mum sheād know what to do.
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Hi hun sorry for yr loss its so horrible not having yr mum to talk too is so hard xx
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Yeah I just need my mum right now
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Sending huge love to you @Lisa_L51 i fully understand how you feel. Today Iāve decided to light a candle upto Christmas and itās my imaginary hug from mum
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Thanks Iāve just felt crap all day and she would of been the first person I turned as my partner only cares about himself and what he has wrong with him and not being able to turn to her for comfort has just made things worse I feel really sick to the stomach
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You have us @Lisa_L51 and as much as weāre all strangers, we are all going through the loss of our mum, our world, our rock, our confident and always here if you want a chat x
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I so often feel the same @Lisa_L51 . So sorry itās been a rotten day. Even though it feels like you canāt speak with your mum, keep speaking to her. I really do think our mums will sense our bad days and that they send their love and support and help to us all in a virtual hug. Take care
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Thankyou, it means a lot to be able to talk I canāt even say all this to my own family as they are grieving too but donāt think they actually know how Iām dealing with things, my nameās not even Lucy itās Lisa, but that was my nick name off my mum and dad growing up.
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Can I ask what the story was behind the Lucy nickname @Lisa_L51 ? Donāt want to pry, just think itās going to be a nice story
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So the 51 is my age now, itās embarrassing actually when I was really little the elastic had snapped in my knickers and they were drooping down so my mum and dad used to call me Lucy Lastic and basically used to tell all their friends when I was growing up why they called me Lucy as I got older the more embarrassing it got and thatās why they used to call me Lucy xš«£
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I lost my mom last year on December 2ed i took care of her she was in hospis. Even know i knew she was dieing it came as a complete shock to me when she did i went on the room and she was no longer breathing. She aged 20 years in a one year span i couldnāt believe it. I miss my mom to i cant believe the effect it has had on me. I thought i had infected ears because my balance was off for months i went to drs and specialist and employees rooms and to find out all that time it has n een my nerves anxiety. No one understands what is going on with me i donāt know either im just on depression meds thats all and not much help. I keep wondering y im still here like what is the point now. My dad is 87 and has a bad heart. Im 53 now and miss her like is i was 3.
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So sorry for your loss there is no time limit on grief I feel like Iām going to be like this forever Iāll have some good days then Iāll have a day like yesterday when I feel like I donāt want to be here anymore I feel like the bad days are really out weighing the good, Iāve woke this morning feeling like crap after my horrible day yesterday Iām going cemetery today as my mumās plaque is ready to lay were we scattered her ashes just another reminder but to me itās a place I can go and place flowers itās a place me, my dad and my girls can go she meant the world to us and I need to mark that she was here and now she has gone.
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Im going to try and go to sleep im so wore out Iāve been crying a lot but i canāt seem to rest. The bad dose seem to way out the good days.
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Iām so sorry to read what you have all been through. I lost my Mum over a year ago and miss talking with her all day long. I lived with her so the emptiness is there all the time. I also had dizziness and panic attacks. I have had inner ear balance problems in ge past but I think this is anxiety. Itās horrible and makes you nervous to go out. They keep giving me anti depressants too. They seem unable to deal with grief at the GP surgery and you have to wait for talking therapy. I would talking to someone if you can, maybe just ring Cruse for a chat? It takes away the immediate loneliness. I am sending love to everyone missing a parent cos we need a bit more love now at Christmas.
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