Hi Victoria, I certainly will have a look.
We had video recordings of events as the children were growing up. My husband managed to separate clips and record them. We gave them to the people concerned, one was a friend’s party, also a teacher’s wedding where a sports team Jo was in attended and I tracked down a family for whom I looked after their children and had film of them all playing together. It was a way of keeping Jo’s memory alive and as you say, it helps us so much too x
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Dear Victoria,
What bautiful pictures, it is something to keep that is tangible and also very brave of you.
Keep strong Victoria.
With love
Helen
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Hello everyone , i hope you are all ok ?. I am feeling really depressed at the momment , as we can not go away on Dawns anniversary Dec 11th , it was the one thing to get me through that awful time . i know everyone has had to suffer some way or the other . But for us grieving mums its so much harder . Leading up to the anniversary i am getting so so weepy ,and i am not sleeping ,i cant get Dawn out my head ,thinking i should of done this and that . But i know we have all been through that stag . BUT I feel so alone now ,as Sarah will not mention Dawn ,Aimee our grandaughter ,who i have always been able to talk to , has now said Nannys you should have moved on now , i dont want to talk about it , she has now got like Sarah. I know tjhey loved Dawn . I asked John , am i going over the top keep mentioning Dawn , He told me i am not ,as they dont know what its like to lose a daughter . Love to all Maddie xxx
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Nobody can feel what we feel Maddie. I wish I could give you a hug or sit beside you and hold your hand. I will grieve for the rest of my life, we all will. We can’t just move on! Just know that you are loved and understood here.
With love, Kate xxx
Yes Kate you are so right , how can forget our beautiful children, and i know i will never ever get over losing Dawn even after 4years i still feel so s bitter…she was my rock .Lets hope next year we can all meet up , that would be something… x Love Maddie xx
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I do so hope for that. It’s seems like we were meant to find each other. Don’t ever feel alone as we are all here 24/7.
Hope you get a good sleep tonight. Imagine us all cuddled up on a sofa, a blanket over us all, glass of wine in hand, laughing and exchanging happy memories. 
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oH so comforting Kate , its just so nice that i am not alone , You guys have been so amazing. XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hi folks sorry to hear everyone feeling like they do. I find it hard to write sometimes. As I’m not coping that well tbh. Aimée passed 7th July 2018 and for me the time that has passed hasnt helped I feel as time passes I’m feeling more depressed and missing her ever so much more. We did everything together she and I was one looking after her every need getting her through all her operation and I feel guilty I should have did this and that and if I had could that have changed things. My family seem to just keep saying Aimée wouldnt want you to be like this which is true I know. But it’s hard for them to see how much I truly ache each day. I understand their lifes go on but for me caring for her 24/7 and loving being with her everyday and being her mum was my life. I have felt like giving up but feel will I see her then. I feel trapped here now. X
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Dear Maddie
I’m thinking of you and sending warm hugs and love…it’s so tough with Covid19 just making the pain worse for us all. It’s also hard when family or friends expect us to be somehow “recovered” ! We won’t recover… we’re learning to manage it…I wish people would understand that. Anyway Dawn is alive in your heart…just as Henry is in mine.
I had a walk in the fog today with my husband- it was ethereal…Cleeve Hill in Gloucestershire.
I’m hoping when we pass that it’s like that fog…and we will walk through it into bright sunshine and there will be our beautiful children- waiting for us 
Purple x
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Oh Cheli66 , I know exatly how you feel , you seem to be going through the same thing we all all are feeling . Yes Dawn was my rock , she would sort everything out for me …And i dont find time is making it any eaiser , the more time goes by the more i miss her. . Yes if only we could turn back the clock ,we spent so many hours ,looking after her , and we always thought she would comw through it . We are all here for you Chel 66 Take care mADDIE XX
Thankyou Purple, i hope you are so right ,we deserve a little bit of peace from the grieving xx
Thank you maddie it’s hard to try and explain to people who have no idea what we feel each day. I feel we was together from the day she was born and she went through so many operation and we would always stay in the hospital together the hospital would always know I would want to stay too. I just suddenly feel sometimes how impossible it is she is gone. We were never really ever apart a few hours when she went to her friends house or did her 2 mornings dog training other than that we was always together like one. I feel half of me has gone too. I dont want to be without her x
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Dear All,
I have also been tearful this week. On Thursday I felt as though I had skipped back 2 years but better today. I think this is how life will be for us now … bad days every now and again. I keep going over everything in my mind, fretting that I could have done more to save her. I wish with all my heart that I could turn the clock back. Because I have been selling my calendars, people have been so lovely in sharing their memories of Gemma and what a kind, generous spirit she had.
Lockdown doesn’t help either as I think going away or days out, meeting friends for coffee or lunch help us so much.
Kate, you paint such a lovely picture of how it will be when we all meet up … I can’t wait!
Bless you all xxx
Dear all, we all seem to be down just now. I still cry a lot but normally when I am driving or walking. Too many memories.
Our granddaughter is our shining light at the end if a dark tunnel. Here she is with the cakes we made today. She is such a joy.
I also can’t wait till we can all meet up. It will be tears and laughter I hope.xxxx
Oh just look at her little face! Bless her … they are such a joy
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oh how beautiful kate ,she is adorible. Oh . i feel for you so much , Lisa would be so happy that yoand Jemma are looking after her beautifulchild . Victoria, my heart aches for you , the way you lost your lovely girl . i am so pleased that you have made such progress with the calanders . Love to all of you Maddie xxxx
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She is an absolute delight in every way. A credit to her Mummy and ongoing love and care of Jamie.xx
I love that little face…and what an inspiration for us all…you must be so proud of her Kate. xx
Oh Maddie I know how exactly how you are feeling, next Friday it will be Christians third anniversary .so like you I am feeling very down at the moment…but always remember you will never be alone when you have friends on this forum we will be thinking of you and grieving with you.
Dawn is still part of your family so you should be proud to talk about her don’t listen to what others say.
Grieving with you. Marina xxx
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Hello All,
In 9 days time I realise it will be Sam’s 4th year, I’ve been without him. God it’s so hard I’m sat here now with tears rolling down my cheeks, because Geraint like your Sarah Maddie can’t talk about it. We would normally be leaving to go to the farmhouse in Cornwall Friday, but obviously we can’t this year as we are in lockdown and then we go in to Tier 3. Like Marina says Sam is still part of my family and all I can say is I was so lucky to have him. He fell in to a coma on the 8th December and passed on the 9th. It doesn’t get any easier it 's like the sea you learn to paddle your feet then you learn to swim but you have no chance of surfing the waves they just drown you.
Love to you all
Helen
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