Sorry spell check Melts my heart 
and Marina so glad I made your day you have helped me so much on my journey xxx
Dear Michelle,
What a lovely message … I lost my precious daughter on the 1st February 2018. She was 42 and left behind two sons. I thought I would never be able to carry on living without her. But my friends on here have pulled me through and I don’t know what I would do without them.
Lots of love to you xxx
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Just had a wonderful afternoon watching Brooke mesmerized by the Christmas aura. Seeing it through a chikds eyes is such an uplifting experience.xxx
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Charlie (Gemma’s little one) today on a walk with us and Elvis, Gemma’s dog. He is such a joy and the bravest of boys. He just melts my heart and keeps me going
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Dear Vitoria and Lisa,
Your grandchildren are beautiful thank you for sharing these lovely pictures, it must be so lovely to be able to spend time with them and am sure it is such a comfort for you both and to be able to tell them all about there mommies to keep their memories alive 
thank you for welcoming to your group, I feel I have known you all for ages xxx
Dear friends and now including Matt’s Mum,
I’ve been reading all your wonderful posts and feeling the pain of our losses.
These new lockdown rules are making things so tough for us all. I’m trying to focus on the point…to save others losing loved ones. It’s not easy though.
Our plans are all ruined. But nothing comes close to how we feel about losing our children…nor can it ever…that ruin will last our lifetime.
Every time a new person posts on here my heart breaks…I think we had 217 posts when Henry died in October last year. It’s so much higher now.
The most amazing thing is how the support is there for everyone. I’m having a lighter day today…I hope you all have those days when the grief slumbers for a while.
Big hugs and love to you all
Purple x
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Hi Kate,
Sorry for mixing up the names.
Love
Michelle
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Hello Matt’s Mum
Your post is very moving. 
we do keep going one way or another and painting in a face is something I can relate to.
Henry keeps me going from his side of the fence- somehow. He wants me to be here with his brother George. Also with just son Oliver who will always miss his Dad.
I’m so sorry you have a life without Matt…I hope you find support and love on this site to help when the load is heavy.
Big hugs
Purple x
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Hi Purple,
Thank you for your kind words, I don’t know why its taken so long for me to actually post on this site but quite often when I struggle I read your posts and can relate to all of you and even though I wasn’t posting I felt part of your lovely group as we were all going through the same things together and none of our other friends know how we really feel, I love my girls deeply but Matt was my best friend he was always messaging me on WhatsApp and at nighttime when I can’t sleep I read them as it feels he is still here if they could give Oscars for acting we would all have so many ! People have no idea what we go through on a daily basis putting on this brace face take care and keep up the fight .
Love Michelle
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Dear all friends here. Yesterday my oldest friend from school phoned me. We have always stayed in touch but over the past couple of years it was down to Christmas cards.
Anyway, I didnt send any last year so when her card came it was obvious that she thought something was wrong. I immediately posted a card to her and wrote our story.
Well, I was sitting in my car in Lidls car park when she phoned. She was in such a state, broken hearted, sobbing and saying “how could this happen to my lovely friend”.
Needless to say I was a wreck too. However, we cheered up and exchanged mobile numbers and have been in touch again later in the day.
Even though we were both so upset, it was uplifting to talk to her. We had such fun when we were young. After school we went to college together, worked in the same small town and would treat ourselves to lunch at the Chinese on.pay day. I was her bridesmaid too. Such lovely memories.
With love.
Kate xxx
Similar thing happened to me the year Christian died, I never sent any cards to anyone and a few days after Christmas my dearest friend phoned to ask what was the matter, she was so shocked for she knew Christian very well…after that we were in constant touch with each other,I am so pleased we were for five months later her husband phoned early one morning to say she had died very suddenly the previous evening…So in the space of sixteen months I had lost my treasured son, my only sister and my best friend…It’s amazing how at times we manage to cope with life
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Hello all dear friends,there seems to be quite a few of us on this site at the moment. which brings the reality how many have lost our beautiful children . Michelle,i am so sorry you have had to join this site ,and its so awful you have lost your Son at such a young age ,.But we are all here for you .Dawn was my best friend,we would talk on the phone every night ,she was my rock,if i had a problem ,she would always sort me out.Victoria it was lovely meeting up with you and Bill and Jemmas dog Elvis… And lets hope we can all meet up somwhere next year So lets hope we can all come through xmas the best we can,and be covid free next year.
With love to all .Maddie xxx
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Thank you all … Maddie, Kate, Helen, Chris, Marina, Purple, Ruby and Michelle. You have all been so amazing and got me through this year. Much love to you all and wishing you a peaceful Christmas 
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Thank you Victoria,
I hope everyone manages some joy this Christmas time and the New Year brings us all new hope for the future.
Love and hugs
Chris x
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My love and thoughts are with you all ,and hoping we all find some peace and contentment in the coming year…Marina xx
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Hello All,
I have been reading all your posts, right now I can’t sleep and when it’s dark everything is magnified. So I have turned to my friends on here they understand everything that goes through your head. I am trying to keep my head above water at the moment. My mum who is 86 now her birthday was on the 21st, has not been outside her front door since the beginning of February. She is so paranoid about the coronavirus, and now I think she is losing the plot. My eldest Geraint took her over an electronic photo frame with pictures of all the twins and Stanley and Sam, and she asked him if he would set it up for her so he went back to the car got a mask and asked her to stand back while he set it up for her. After he had left she rang me screaming and crying down the phone, I’ll pick up coronavirus!! I just don’t need this at the moment I am struggling with my own grief, when Sam died my mum said if you’re going to keep crying then I wont come down! 18 months later when Roy (my stepdad) passed away she said to me losing a husband was worse than losing a son! So right now with all that going through my head I’m finding Christmas hard.
So sorry for the moan, but I know you will all understand.
With love to you all
Helen Sam’s mum
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Dear Helen, that must be all so hard for you to cope with. No wonder you are not sleeping. I hope you were able to reassure your mum. I have lost both my parents to whom I was very close but even that does not compare to losing Gemma. Losing a child is the worst grief we will ever go through. You need to focus on yourself right now, look after yourself. It was nice of Geraint to go to his grandmothers to help and a lovely gesture. I was thinking does your mum need professional help maybe?
Our Christmas plans changed yesterday … we invited my friend to lunch, she is 80 and did not want to go to London so I was kept busy and it was lovely. My grandson, Coren (Gemma’s son) and his girlfriend were due to come for tea. I got it all ready and then got a call saying they both felt poorly with virus symptoms. So I packed up the food and Bill took it over for them.
I hope you all had a calm and peaceful day xxx
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Dearest Helen, Victoria and all Mums here.
So sorry you had a hard time with your Mother. It isn’t easy is it. I found my Mother in Law very difficult and as she got more infirm she blamed me for everything. It eventually eats away at you. She was such a self centred person. When my own Mother was dying in hospital and our girls were very young, she told me I shouldn’t be running up and down the M6 to see her, she said her life is over, you should be here with the children. It hurt me so deeply and I didnt have a good relationship with her from then on. My Mother was the opposite, so kind, caring and selfless.
I truly hope you have a better day today.
The family are coming over after 5 as Jamie and his brother want to watch the Hearts match live on TV. Brooke has the option to stay overnight too if she want to.
Love and hugs to you all.
Kate:heart:
Dear Helen
Bless you that is tough. Are you able to encourage your Mum into the garden or to go for a short walk? Just being outdoors might help her?
My Mum is a bit of a drama Queen but we all think she may have a bit of dementia.
I’m so sorry that your Mum felt it necessary to measure her grief against yours…that really is thoughtless but lashing out at loved ones in times of grief is common. Deep down she probably never meant it. Ivzqsqqqzzssqasqssssszzq/zzz/11
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Did she have a relationship with Sam? My Mum misses her lost grandchildren and now her brother has just passed and Dad is in care…all her anchors are seemingly removed.
Dear Helen…Christmas for those that have lost a child can be quite harrowing for we tend to remember many memories of those Christmas’s when they were with us…So the last thing you need is a moaning Mother…I have an elderly friend who lives near us, a lovely person, but like your Mother she as been locked in her house since March and is tending to get slightly selfish. So, stop thinking of your Mum and start thinking of yourself for a change.
Think what Sam would say…Marina xxx
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