Aww Maddie, thats so awful for you.
So many people must be in terrible pain losing someone to covid. I just found out the lovely secretary at my boys primary school just lost her life to it, she was always so very kind to them both and to me.
I’m so so sorry you are having to deal with this.
Anne xxx
Hi everyone
After an ok day I’ve been sobbing for hours.
My youngest had a stressful day at work so after we sat and chatted I realised that normally the next thing I would do would be to text Scott, he was so blunt and honest but funny too and I just desperately wanted to get a message from him. Just then I looked up at a photo of the two of us watching football with a beer in our hands, we had such a good night. I miss him terribly, he is on my mind constantly.
How is it possible to continue on without him?
Anne xx
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Thats a beautiful photo Anne. I feel the same, Kathryn is on my mind constantly and I feel devastated. I wonder every day how I can I go on without her, but i manage to get out of bed and robot like get through another day. There is no joy in anything, I don’t care if its sunny, raining, grey or whatever. I don’t care about work nothing, the house could fall down around me and I wouldn’t care. I’ve been offered counselling by Cruse to start on Friday but I really don’t want to go through what happened to her and drag it all up again. Its too painful. I know that I must try to be stronger for my other children’s sake and you must too for Euan. It has to be possible as others have done it. Just take each day at a time I suppose. Sending love and hugs. Deborah xxx
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Thank you Deborah,
I feel same, I don’t feel joy in anything, I took our dog out gor a walk tonight and I wanted to be cold, nothing matters, I felt like a zombie or a robot like you said. I’m back avoiding people that might speak to me.
I’ve heard other people saying the counselling helps, I used to be a support worker for rape crisis and people do seem to feel better even when they are sharing painful memories, it’s worth a try.
Anything to try and get through each day without our precious child.
Sending love to you too
Anne xxx
Dear Anne,
What a lovely picture of you both, your precious boy will be with you always 
i hope that tomorrow is a better day for us all, take care sending you much love.
Michelle xxx
Thank you Michelle
Sending love back to you
Anne xxx
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Hello everyone thank you for your lovely messages .as it had been a very sad day .maddie xx
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Dear Maddie and Chris,
I am so sorry for your losses. Covid has been so terrible for families. Thinking of you both xxx
Sending love.
Kate xx
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Lovely photo. Bless him.
Kate xx
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Hello Anne your so so lovely what’s waste I am still convincedGod takes the best .How else can we exlspane it losing our beautiful children with love maddie cx
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Oh I don’t know how to cope at the moment yesterday was depressing after losing a sister in law but today Sarah rang and she has spoken to Sam. Her daughter who lives in Georgia USA and she is lovely to. Her which is lovely. But I can’t sto crying at the moment Sarah makes me think I am worthless I can’t talk to her about drawn she doesn’t talk to me much and now I feel like life is not worth living without Dawn she was
My rock .why is life such hard work maddie xx
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Dear Maddie
So sorry to read you’re struggling- we all get those desperate days. Feels like drowning doesn’t it. 
You’ve always given me hope that I can find a way to cope… and I want to tell you that that is an amazing gift.
Try meditating- I use Headspace. It does calm me and settle the emotions. Just the breathing and concentrating on that helps so much.
If I could take your pain then I promise you I would. Try and put it down for a while Maddie. Our children want us to continue… as they continue. Have no doubt that Dawn is close by.
Sending you the warmest hug and peace.
Purple x
Purple
Maddie, I am so sorry you feel so bad. It’s terrible for us. I was so close to Lisa not because I love Jemma any less as they are our girls, but Lisa and I were always together through the florist business. We worked on weddings together and I actually delivered the flowers for the very last wedding she did. It hurts so much. I am lucky that Jemma has been so good and been up home so much during covid.
I miss Lisa every hour of every day but we need to be thankful for the wonderful years we had with them.
Not to have been mothers would be unthinkable.
Sending love and strength.
Kate xx
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Th an nkyou. For being so understanding and I know you Kate has your lovely Jemma .But I don’t know what’s wrong with Sarah I know when I was in hospital 2years ago she was great and she would be there for me Ann’s her father .but I just feel I can’t talk to her I just feel an hinderance she virtually told me that a year ago we have always been here for her baby sitting doing her housework when she had her op on her foot last year .but now I have decided Ed d I am not ringing or seeing her I feel just let her get on with it . I feel so low some days I don’t want to be here here x
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Maddie, Jemma could be harsh with me before Lisa took ill.
However, as soon as it all kicked off Jemma was amazing and has been ever since. With Jamie and Brooke and with us.
During the first lockdown she was up here and trying to run her business online, looking after Brooke during the day, doing our shopping. During this harsh winter she stacked all the logs delivered in the log store constantly salting the driveway and making sure we were ok.
She has really been a rock.
I am sure Sarah is working through her grief as well. Hopefully if, as you say you are leaving her to herself then it will all resolve. Hope so for you.
With love, Kate xx
Thank you Kate I know if I was I’ll or John she would do anything for us .but I just feel I cannot tell her how I feel as I always have to be upbeat when I talk to her because I make depressed. I have just booked a couple more days away in Warwick and then to stay with a friend in June .as I am so happy when I can get away from everyone so not to be a burden x
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You mustn’t feel you are a burden. My love, we have suffered the worse loss any human being can. The loss of a child. We should be able to grieve openly and unfettered by anyone elses feelings. It’s so so hard. You have been a wonderful support to me and other friends here. You should never feel a burden to anyone.
Love and kisses. kate xx
Thank you Kate so much for your kin words it seems every so often life gets too much and I feel more touchy than usual .Take care Maddie xx
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Dearest Maddie,
I wish I could scoop you up and give you the biggest hug! I’m sorry you are struggling with Sarah. As others have said, she will be grieving too but we all grieve in different ways. My Louie struggles to talk about Gemma and around her anniversary he cut himself off from us all for a few days.
It’s so hard sometimes to connect with people when we are feeling so sad.
Lockdown is so hard for us as everything feels so ‘concentrated’ if that makes sense?
Let me know when you go to Warwick as we can meet up!
Lots of love to you xxx