Thankyou. On reflection I felt bad as a you have more grief to deal with and Chris too.
Kate, love to you all.xx
No need for apologiesā¦that is what this forum is all aboutā¦we can express our feelings knowing that everyone of us can relate and understand exactly how each of us are feeling.
This site is the only place we can pour out all our feelings knowing that we are all there for each other xxxx
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Dear purple and all,
I love the fairy Garden 
and I love the picture of Henry we all miss our dear children so much and I think we all agree we love our other children but one of the things we all have in common and probably why we are all on here and can relate to each other we all had a very special bond with our precious babies who have left this world and will be forever by our sides, because they know how much we loved them, Maddie I know some have only recently lost their babies but to those of us who are further down the path still we all feel this unbearable pain and we want others to realise that even though we seem brave and appear to be coping inside we are still completely broken and ir is so exhausting putting on this act and being brave for others but for us it still seems like only last week since our babies left us 
i was always closer to Matt he was my first born only son and my girls are twins and have a special bond witg each other and I always felt left out but since losing Matt we have become much closer, we all know how we feel and anyone who is having a meltdown donāt ever apologise we are all here for you sending all my love 
Love Michelle xxxx
Maddieā¦never regret whatever you sayā¦I love reading your posts for you always say exactly just how you are feeling it always comes from the heartā¦Take care xxx
Dear all
Purple the fairy Garden is so cute. My grandparents had a fairy house in their garden. I used to go there every other weekend with my brother to attend their synagogue. My grandfather convinced us that fairies lived in the house. Our imaginations were so heightened that we still believe to this day that we saw fairies in it! I had my first counselling session with Cruse today and sobbed all the way through it. The man was lovely and really put me at my ease. He said all the right things but he couldnāt possibly know the pain that I am feeling right now as he hasnāt experienced it himself. Only you ladies on here know the unbelievable horror of losing your child. I am so glad that I found you all. I am seeing my son and my grandchildren tomorrow. I havenāt seen them for 2 months due to covid. I shouldnāt really be seeing them due to the restrictions but I really donāt care. I need some hugs from them. They are 14 and 12. I am so looking forward to it. We will go for a walk on the beach which is 2 minutes from me. They miss Kathryn so much. They are bringing something to put with the rose bush that I planted. My sister sent it to me its called Kathryn. Sorry to rattle on. Sending love and hugs to you all. Deborah xxx
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Dear all
Absolutely- we donāt need to apologise for feeling like sh*t at times! Itās not self indulgent.
Itās always going to be this way for meā¦good days and then a dipā¦I had a terrible morningā¦awful gripping stomach and chest pains. Theyāve passed now.
My husband- who is a star, not my boyās father- thinks itās to do with the grief. Heās probably right.
Iām glad Iāve shared the photo of my lovely boy. He was and still is one of the joys of this world and the next no doubt. Forever loved.
Big hugs to you all
Purple x
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Feat Michelle and Marina thank you for you post you have all been a lifeline I donāt know how I would have survived without you all.Thats what makes it so much better when I can talk freely when you canāt talk to your own daughter about how you are feeling .Iam always walking on egg shells with in case I say the wrong thing . Maddie xx
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Dear Maddie
You canāt say the wrong thing hereā¦thatās why itās so amazing to have found this site.
I hope youāre finding some peace today.
Hugs and love
Purple x
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Dear Maddie and all, this site is a lifeline for me too. I donāt know where I would have been without you all. I feel that I can be honest about how I feel and of you ever seem to get bored with hearing me bless you.
It is difficult sometimes with family and friends because I donāt want to appear sad or miserable so I often have to put on an act. xxx
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Kate
There is no need to apologise, and you are right it does help to offload our inner thoughts.
xxH
Hello Victoria
I can honestly say we all put on an act most of the time both with family and friends and no we will never get bored, because we are all in the same positionā¦I never ever thought I would be here but here I am and I am lucky to have found you all. We can all agree this is not where we would like to be but here we are, and in some way glad that we are all together.
xxHelen
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So right Victoria. X
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Hi all I had a lovely day today with my son and my grandchildren. I did a spread of food for them which is what I would normally do but I felt a great sadness that my daughter was not here to enjoy the day with us. My daughter and her partner joined us We walked over to the beach which my daughter loved and we talked about her and shed lots of tears. My son gave me a lovely basket of flowers for mothers day and I tried to be a little bit cheerful for all their sakes but inside I was hurting so badly. My granddaughter told me that she has been wearing the angels wings necklace that I gave her containing some of Kathryns ashes all the time and that she talks to her and tells her how much she loves her. Sheās 14 and I thought that it was so lovely. My daughter is still so loved
Deborah xx
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How beautiful this is. So nice to finally have a lovely day.
We have Brooke overnight. She is so lovely. I made her dinner and she said I was a good cooker! Bless her. She was talking today about a time with Mummy when we were playing āwhoād afraid of Mr Wolfā I am amazed that she remembers so much as she would only have been 3.
They are such a joy our grandchildren.
With love, Kate xx
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Oh that is lovely Kate I am so pleased you have had a lovely day with Brooke and shared is talking about Lisa that is so comforting Andyou are feeling a bit better as you were down yesterday .Maddie xx
I am better Maddie. You know how it is. Something just takes us back to those awful times. Then, the next day we are back in our new world. The one we have had to adjust to.
Love to you dear Maddie.xxx
Yes it doesnāt take much to take us back to those terrible days.But all it took today to cheer you up was little Brooke by the sound of it .xxxx
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Aww Deborah,
Iām so glad you had a lovely day with your family.
Iām sure Kathryn was with you as Scott will be with me on his birthday tomorrow when I leave a birthday card where we scattered his ashes. His friends are coming and one of his ex girlfriends.
Its so lovely that your granddaughter wears a necklace with your girls ashes.
Your girl will forever be loved
Anne xxxx
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Hi Anne
Iām sure she was with us today. Iāve been really tearful since they left and am crying as I am writing this. It doesnāt get any easier does it. I will be thinking of you and your family tomorrow. Much love Deborah 
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Hello Anne will be thinking of you and your family tomorrow which I know will be a difficult day for you all.with love maddiexx