Oh Deboragh
Oh Deborar I am so sorry you are feeling so low .i know some are worse than others life is hard trying to to get trough this life we have been dealt.Losing our children is the worse thing everWe all understand itās just early days and I know the pain is unbearable but please try not to drink too much as it will make you more depressed and I know your beautiful girl would not want you to do this to yourself .I know as I am speaking from exsperiance .sending love Maddie xx
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Dear Kate and Maddie
Thank you for responding. It is all so hard. I feel like giving up. Life has no meaning anymore and the pain is unbearable. I donāt know how you carry on each day, it just doesnāt seem worth it. I feel totally sad and despondent xx
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Dearest Deborah,
I am so sorry to hear you are struggling. I wish I could scoop you up and bring you home with me for a few days!
It is so hard and sometimes I wonder how I have managed to keep going but I think it is the love I have for my family and the knowledge that they still need me.
I hope you have a better day tomorrow. Keep posting and weāll catch up again.
Big hugs to you xxx
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Deborar I just wish there was something I could do or say to help you .Istill canāt believe even after4 years that it is actually Dawn that has gone it still doesnāt seem real .She was my rock. Xx
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Dear Deborah
Iām so sorry youāre feeling overwhelmed. We all understand those feelingsā¦ itās difficult to know how to channel the pain. Unfortunately alcohol just makes it worse-however tempting it is to blot everything out 
The reason to carry on is to honour your childā¦ who still lives so strongly in your heart. And for all the people who truly care about youā¦including people who havenāt met you in person.
Weāre all willing you to find a little peace. Be kind to yourself.
Warm hugs and love
Purple x
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Dear Deborah,
I am so sorry you are feeling so low, its so hard not to drink it does help to numb things but its a depressant as we all know but I know sometimes you canāt help it as it seems the only way of escaping, please believe us that tomorrow will be a better day but this journey is never ending but it does get better and you have days when you donāt break down and can laugh without feeling guilty but you are in such early days but we are all here to help you through, I loved hearing about the lovely spread you did for your lovely family and how much they all need you and think how your granddaughter would feel if she didnāt have you, Kathryn would have been so proud of you for taking care of everyone and you know how much your other daughter is struggling without her sister but because she has you she will get through, stay strong dear friend and msg anytime as I work nights so will answer you 
Love Michelle xxx
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Aww Deborah, Iām so sorry , its hardly been any time since we lost our children. Its still all so raw and shocking.
I wish I could turn back time and we could both have them back again.
Do what you have to get through the days but remember there are people who love and need you still.
I miss my boy terribly too, you are not alone
Anne xxxxx
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Deborah love, please get some help even if itās only going to the Doctors just to sit down with someone face to face and tell them exactly how you are feeling may help even if just a little.
I know what you are going through itās a living hell, but it will get easier though I know at the moment you will find that hard to believeā¦
Thinking of youā¦xxxx
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Hi all thank you for your lovely messages of support. I spoke to my GP today and he was very supportive. I also had my 1st counselling session with Cruse today. I cried all the way through it, iām sure that they are used to that. Although it was very painful to go through it all it was quite therapeutic to get it all out. He told me to take each day as it comes and try not to look too far into the future. My GP signed me off work for another 2 weeks as I am not ready to go back yet if at all. Thankfully after over 3 months off I am still getting full pay. Iām not going to make any decisions at the moment just going to see how I feel when I wake up each day. No wine tonight, just tea xx
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Oh well done Deborah ā¦ I am so proud of you! It is a brave thing to do. My daughter had counselling after we lost Gemma and it did help her. We are all with you and will be step by step. I hope you are feeling brighter today.
I think it is good advice not to look too far ahead ā¦ one day at a time. I was off work for 9 months when I lost Gemma. I now work 2 days a week and can cope with that. I work for the NHS and they have been amazingly supportive. Lots of love to you
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Hi Victoria
Thank you for your message. I do feel a little brighter today but have still just had a good cry. Its so hard to accept it all. I still canāt believe that it has happened. I too work for the NHS and like you experienced my team have been very supportive.
Love Deborah x
That all sounds so positive Deborah
Iām luckily still on furlough, work seems the last thing you could deal with right now.
The counselling sounds helpful, one day at a time
Thinking of you xx
Anne xxx
Hi Deborah,
So glad you are getting help and I also work for NHS and had 5 months off and they were very supportive, I went back only because I chose too, take your time as you say its still hard to take it in, even now I feel like that, keep fighting Deborah and Anne we are here for you both and your children are always with you in and will be in your hearts forever
Love Michelle xxxx
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sure it will do you good in the long run.I know the hardest thing is accepting they have gone
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Maddie, you are absolutely right and takes a long , long time.
Love Chris
Xx
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Dear Deborah
Well done you on going to counselling and talking to your doctor. I couldnāt do either
I can still only take one day at a time - and I donāt expect that to change.
Motherās Day looming doesnāt help.
Big hugs to you
Purple
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Yes the dreaded Motherās Day .I lost my mum on Motherās Day as well which doesnāt helpā¦just the weather nice so will be able to get out .with love maddie xx
Hi Maddieā¦I donāt think we ever fully accept they are goneā¦Christian lived in Yorkshire for a couple of years and there are times I pretend he is still living thereā¦ crazy though it sounds it does help me to get through some of the bad timesā¦xxxxx
I used to always think that I would care if she was the other side of the world as long as she was well and on the same planet xx
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