Yes the dreaded Mothers Day. I will have Jemma home for the weekend. I will try so hard not to be upset that her darling sister isn’t with her. When they were little they used to come to our bedroom on Mothers Day both holding the card and gift. So lovely. I remember when they were about 5 and 8 they brought me breakfast in bed as we didnt have guests.
It was a boiled egg and toast. The egg wasnt actually boiled!
Makes me laugh when I think of it.
Hope we can all get through this weekend.
With love to all.
Kate xxx
Dear Kate,
Yet another difficult day for us. Tiffany said a few days ago ‘I’m so sorry Mum … Mothers Day must be so hard for you’. I have always kept my cards from the children so will find out a Mother’s Day card from Gemma and it will be on my mantelpiece alongside the ones from her brother and sister.
This morning, lying in bed, I suddenly thought of Gemma and that she has gone and I don’t have her with me any more. I could feel this terrible panic rising inside me and quickly had to get out of bed, my heart was thumping so hard. I had to find Bill and calm myself. I somehow manage to live and pretend it never happened. So hard to explain I think I must shut down that part of my brain. It never leaves us xxx
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You explain it perfectly. That’s exactly how I feel. My stomach muscles contract into my back, my heart races and it is a feeling of panic.
With love, Kate xx
Yes - it’s like that for me. I’ve kept cards too so I can put one up.
It’s so strange how it gets you…I was making dinner and I saw the little boy across the road playing football with his brother- just in the car park outside their houses.
Henry used to play in the garden for hours with his brother and I’d watch them as I got dinner organised.
It took me back and now I’m crying and I’ve got that desperate feeling again 
I know it will pass but I miss him so much. I know you all understand and I know I was so fortunate to have had him.
This is us celebrating Mother’s Day in 2018. We went the weekend before so my parents could join us. It was a lovely day 
Much love
Purple
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Hi Victoria so sorry to hear you had a bad morning .Thats what I was referring to earlier it’s so hard excepting that they. have actually left us .Its still so for my brain some days to take it in.I have to block it out if I can when I go to bed other wise my mind takes over .the same in the morning as the tears will flow and I am weepy for the rest of the day.0h god if only we could turn back the clock love to you and Bill xx
Oh purple what a lovely photo of you and your darling boy .What a terrible loss for you .Sending love Maddie xx
Dear Purple,
What a lovely photo of you and Henry. He looks so lovely and you both look so happy. I do love to see photos of our children. xxx
Dear Victoria and Maddie
Thank you. We were so close and I never ever imagined I would be without him.
Honestly I cope well now overall but when I feel it…it’s like it’s just happened.
My own Mum is so brave and she misses him too…plus Oli, Henry’s cousin who took his own life shortly after Henry died. How terrible to have lost two grandchildren.
Thanks again for your kindness and understanding.
Much love
Purple
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Such a lovely photo. He is so gorgeous. Much love.
Kate xx
Purple,
That is an absolutely beautiful photo,
Henry looks like such a lovely young man with a gorgeous smile. My heart breaks for you.
Anne
Dear Victoria,
Thats just how I feel, its like you can’t allow your mind to rest for one minute you always have to be thinking or doing something to distract yourself from thinking to deeply as then you realise this really did happen, Matt was away a lot in the army so i just imagine that’s where he is as that’s easier to bear, sometimes I think I might have PTSD or depression as I feel dead inside like my emotions have died, I too will get my card out from Matt on Sunday thinking of you all and on Sunday Evening at 7pm we should all liight a candle for our precious children and close our eyes and know we are all here for each other moms together , much love to everyone.
Love Michelle xxxx
What a good idea Michelle,I must admit I have lit a candle for Dawn the last 4 years ,but I do have a special one so will light that at 7 and think of all our beautiful Daughters. and Sons.xx Maddie xx
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Dear all
Like you all I am dreading Sunday. My daughter always made it so special for me. Purple the photo of you and Henry is so lovely. You both look so happy.
I had a telephone appointment with a medium today who was highly recommended to me. My father and my daughter came through to me. The medium knew nothing about me not even my name. I asked her specific questions that gave me proof that it was them. It was very emotional. She could not have known the things about them that she told me. It was heartbreaking but comforting at the same time.
Deborah xx
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Hi Deborah your medium sounds amazing … where did you find her number? I would like to see someone when we can xxx
Deborah
Thank you for your kind words 
I’m thinking I’d like a phone call with a medium. I’m so glad you found it comforting.
I saw a lady last July- she was quite good- certainly said things specific to me.
We will be united on Sunday- we are still and always will be mothers- wherever are children are.
Much love to you, Kathryn and all your family.
Purple x
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Hi Victoria
She was recommended through my niece. I can give you the number for her manager. I had to wait 6 weeks for an appointment. Her manager is her daughter who is also a fantastic medium. My mums sister was a clairvoyant and medium who was really revered. My daughter also has the talent. Some of the predictions that she has made have been mind blowing.
Deborah xx
Hi
Victoria is the person that I spoke to. Truly amazing, the cost is £40.
Xxx
IWould love to see a good medium,as I have seen about 6 without any joy.The best ever we did a quija board with some friends and was so over whelmed what came through.Ican remember 2years ago on Mother’s Day my mobile phone started to play music never had it done that befor or after,so hoped it was a message from Dawn .xxx
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Dear Michelle, that is such a lovely idea and I will be lighting a candle at 7pm on Sunday to think of you all and also all our beautiful, cherished children 
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Dear Purlple,
Lovely photo of you with your precious son and you both look so happy we have our memories but we just wanted more 
Take care love Michelle xxx