Hello Maddie,
It is so easy to look back and say why didn’t we persist in trying to get her home for Christmas, but as you said they wouldn’t let you that is because they knew her body would not take that, not because you didn’t do all you could…you did and Dawn will know that. Everyone of you was so tired, I like you think why…in my case Sam was in the room next to the lounge that we had converted for him yet when I came back to the lounge and sat I invariably dozed for a few minutes at least whilst another member of the family went in and spoke with him so he knew someone was always there, yet I too feel guilty about that short space of time dozing. I know deep in my heart I like you did everything we could and I try to tell myself that Sam would know I did everything. I am going to Billericay on the 19th Feb to see a guy called Tony Stockwell and if I am allowed to ask some questions that is one that I will ask. I will let you know how it went. You can look him up on google
Dear Helen, Maddie and other dear mums and dads,
Another weekend to face as the dreaded anniversary gets closer. I seemed to be dreaming more about Daniel - I guess that is the anxiety and the need to have him back in our lives. Like others it is so hard to understand and if it is true that we will see our loved ones again. Helen, I am curious about the person called Tony that you are going to visit on 19th February. Is he a medium? I have toyed with the idea but am wary of false prophets. I know Daniel was not religious but he was spiritual- what would he want me to do? I know like others here that our loved ones are deeply entrenched in our hearts but not being able to share them physically, hear their laughter and even get annoyed with them is truly killing me. Things go round and round in my head, never ending thoughts of what ifs and maybes. I feel caught in the maze of grief and there seems no exits. Sending you all love. Wynne
Hi Wynne,
His name is Tony Stockwell and he is a medium lives in Billericay in Essex. You can find out about him on google. It is so difficult, only this morning I cried, but they tears didn’t last long because I could hear Sam talking to me telling me to stop.
In the build up to Sam’s anniversary I too found it very very difficult but the day itself was a lot easier than I expected. We were with friends in Cornwall so I think that helped a great deal and Sam too was near me urging me on…he is always with me, remember you will see Daniel again, I truly believe I will see Sam again when I close my eyes for the last time he’ll be there to take me through. I am not religious at all but I do know that our spirit and soul stays around those that we love and those that love them, Daniel knows how much you love him…I will never talk of Sam in the past tense because he is still around me although like PaulM said not in the physical sense.
Hi everyone, many of us have experienced happenings which seem to be very strange coincidences? such as a song that comes on the radio at a significant time. These times comfort me as I feel my daughter is around. I don’t attend church regularly, but have been taking my granddaughter a few times recently as she is going to be Christened (something which my daughter wanted but didn’t get organised due to illness). Today, the last hymn was one she chose for her wedding. I could hardly believe it! But yet again, proved to me, she was with us today.
X
Hello,Wynne Helen and others, how are you all coping, ? I know you are coming up to the anniversary W ynne , its very hard I know when it was Dawns I relived every minute of that dreaded weekend the pain was unbearable , but all I can say when it is that awful day ,like Helen said try and surround yourself with as many friends and family as you can ,they will helpyou through it. We are still going to the grave 3times a week I feel close to her there, my husband keep saying ,try not to cry every time you come away ,but I cant help it ,just seeing her name on the lovely blue heart with her name on it , just brings it back to reality. I have just rang british airways to ask if we can take just a few ashes on the plane with us ,as she wants a few scattered in Disney world round by the castle , which she always loved , she and us have been there many times, so we will have to try and be descreet. hugs to you all Maddie x
The first year is full of “anniversaries”, so hard for us all. I’ve got through Christmas and Chris’s birthday, and now the anniversary of his death is only five weeks away.
My daughter and I have decided that apart from this year, be will only mark Chris’s birthday, which brings happier memories
We will of course always remember that day privately.
There are still flowers on his bench from his birthday, from friends and ex girlfriend s which I must remove soon as they are rather sorry looking now.
I hope you can scatters Dawn’s ashes safely
Chris has traveled several places with us. He loved to travel.
You are so right the year has been full of anniversaries, some painful and others less so. It is now only two days until we reach that dreaded moment when the clock seemed to stop ticking and we saw our beloved boy leave us. The tears are coming so often now and it’s hard to face the reality of him not being with us. I have bought a small yellow rose tree to plant in our garden on Sunday. It will be very emotional but we will scatter some ashes and hopefully it will bloom and grow as he can no longer do this. I bought a rose with a strong scent as Daniel was a great one for his after shaves and he always smelt so nice. Even now his room has a lingering of his scent. I so wish we could see him and just know if he is okay where ever that might be.
Hello Wynne
What a lovely thing to do, I am sure Daniel knows what you have done. Let your tears fall I know that mine still do often, when I think of Sam but then I try to remember all the good times we had and the fun and I eventually stop crying and smile which is something he would want as I am sure Daniel would want for you.
Remember love is too strong a bond to be broken… with love Helen
Hello Wynne , sounds lovely what you are doing for your beloved Daniel on sunday, just to let you know we will be thinking of you and your family on that very sad . Love to you all Maddie and John xx
Hi Wynne, I wish there was something that I could say to make things easier for you. There isn’t. The day will dawn and fade as each day does, time doesn’t stop, but you will get through it even though it is so painful to think about at the moment. I’m upset writing this as I know the feelings you are going through. I hope the day isn’t as bad as the build up, that you feel some relief afterwards and there is a small sign Daniel is around you, a robin, a butterfly, a feather or a song on the radio to bring you some comfort.
Love to you all and everyone suffering. X
Hello Wynne,
Maddie and Bir have said what we are all thinking as the day draws near…you are not alone and all of us on here will be thinking of you.
With much love to you Helen
Dear Anneka, Henley, Maddie and everyone who kindly is thinking of us as tomorrow looms closer and closer. It feels all surreal and that I am living another life in parallel to mine. Tomorrow is meant to be sunny so that will give a small comfort. Daniel loved the colour yellow so it is fitting to hope the sun will be out. Thank you all dear friends on this journey- although I do not know you personally or what you look like I do feel a warm thread of love between all of us which helps in these terrible times. We have all suffered and lost some precious jewels and we know how that feels. Sending you my love. Xxx Wynne
Hi maddie49 I am going through the same as you i lost my son in December to cancer and every day is a struggle if I am not crying I am having anxiety I too am under the doctor and having counciling but nothing is working at the minute. I hope you can find some comfort from somewhere xx please keep in touch as we may be able to help each other
In life we do everything we possible can for our children and death does not alter that.So tomorrow you will cope well because it’s Daniel you are doing it for and he will be by your side all the way…With love Marina xx
Hi Mirlos , I am so sorry for the loss of your son , it is early days for you we lost Dawn December 2016 and all I can say is its very very hard . I wish I could give you words of comfort , but all I can say some days are worst than others , and all you can do is do anything that will get you through a day , luckerly we have had quite a few holidays this year and we went away for xmas , as anywhere different does help take our minds of it. when I wake up at home when I am by myself all I want to do is cry as I always think of that first morning when we did not have Dawn in our lives anymore . I am still seeing a councillor at the moment she has been coming round for a year now , not a lot of help and did not find the doctor any good with his perscriped drugs, just look out for tiny signs from your boy and keep talking to him and let him know how you feel you might get some response, which will give you some comfort, as to tell you he is around you , keep in touch , hugs Maddie x
Hi maddie49 yes it is so so hard I am not finding much help with counciling and I need to start coming off the Meds soon. I have a job but just can’t face going back yet .yes I would like to keep in touch with you x
Hi maddie49 yes it is so so hard I am not finding much help with counciling and I need to start coming off the Meds soon. I have a job but just can’t face going back yet .yes I would like to keep in touch with you x
Hi maddie49 yes it is so so hard I am not finding much help with counciling and I need to start coming off the Meds soon. I have a job but just can’t face going back yet .yes I would like to keep in touch with you x