Sorry
I was saying it’s just so difficult to just survive.
Hi Kate,
My Goodness! What a fearless brave little girl Brooke is, its because she has her dear mom right by her side willing her on and watching over her 
you must be so proud and its so lovely that she is so like your dear Lisa a reminder of her everyday for you all 
God bless love Michelle xxxx
1 Like
Thankyou darling girl. She is a living memory of her Mummy.
We are off to the beach again today. At least there is soft sand under this climbing Web!xxx
1 Like
Dear Michelle
I’m late picking posts up. I hope you’ve coped with Matt’s birthday. As mother’s we remember the births of our children so vividly. They have brought us so much joy in the time we had them.
If only we could take the pain of loss away…Matt sounds amazing and I’m sure he’s still with you all. It’s love keeping us going…
Big hugs
Purple x
1 Like
Dear Tracy
I’m overwhelmed as I’m sure many are to know you e suffered multiple losses and how you lost your son in such appalling circumstances. My heart breaks for you. 
.
You are right to want acknowledgment and answers from the authorities. No amount of money would or could compensate you for losing Shaun.
You sound an amazing mother. I feel I failed my son - whose death at 30 was drugs related. Could I have done something more? You did absolutely everything right.
Keep in touch with everyone.
love and hugs
Purple
1 Like
Dear all,
Tracy I am so sorry you lost your son in such terrible circumstances and hope that you get some answers. You sound like an amazing mum.
Purple, please don’t ever feel that you failed your son. I’m sure you did everything you possibly could. I feel the same about Gemma and have spent so many nights going through everything in my mind, trying to understand and wishing I could have helped her more.
Kate have a lovely time with Brooke. I think we all have learnt to cherish every moment now.
Michelle well done for getting through Matt’s birthday. I was thinking of you all day.
We are waiting for Maddie and John to arrive and so looking forward to seeing them again. Much love to you all xxx
1 Like
Dear Purple,
Thank you for your kind words yes I think their birthdays are the hardest to get through and the build up is so hard, we had a lovely day went to the cemetery had a birthday cake and a toast with family and Matt’s girlfriend, they also made a tribute video for Matt on the 'Stand Easy Soldier ’ site and was shared amongst all his friends it was very emotional but lovely that he will never be forgotten by all
Sending all my love Michelle xxxx
Thank you for supporting me. I don’t know what is happening to me at the moment but I’m going through a bit of a spell of rewinding it all and then feeling a failure. I know so many will understand this and I know there isn’t any point or any logic to it…
Have a wonderful time with Maddie and John and enjoy the sunshine.
Much love to you all.
Purple. x
2 Likes
Hello All,
I haven’y posted over the last few weeks, I have been to Scotland and caught up with Kate and Alan, and now my mum…it’s so hard, but a very long story. Tracy you have suffered such terrible losses and especially the circumstances surrounding Shaun, like all of us on here our heart goes out to you and you’re right there is no amount of money in all the World that will compensate. Please keep posting.
Purple I am sure you are not a failure, and yes rewinding it in your head isn’t logical, but we all do it t’s the black hole that you are staring in to saying what if what if. All we can do as mothers is our best and try to guide them, but at 30 he was a man with his own choices to make. You did not fail him, you loved him and I know that he will have loved you too. He loves you still and will be all around you.
With love
Helen
1 Like
Dear Helen
Your words mean so much - thank you and thank you for understanding. I hate these spells when it feels like it’s just happened!
It seems particularly difficult at the moment- my Dad’s in care and his dementia is speeding up…Mum struggles every day with her frailty and illnesses. It all seems so much on top of everything else 
I hope you managed to find joy when you were away. I’m so thankful for this site and the lovely people here…one day we will see our beautiful children again.
Love and big hugs
Purple
1 Like
Dear Purple, you have so much to deal with. Try to take each day at a time and don’t be too hard in yourself. We are only human and there is only so much we can deal with.
Please don’t blame yourself. As Helen said, Shaun was 30 years old, you had guided him through his life and loved him so much xxx
Hi Victoria
Thanks for taking the time to send a kind message.
I’m feeling more positive today- as you know it comes and goes…no good sitting here feeling sorry for myself.
This sites a godsend as you all understand
Sending you love and a hug
Purple x
3 Likes
Hello all dear friends , sorry I have not posted , but have been away for a few days. . But I have been reading all your post and feeling your pain. . We ended up with staying the last night Victoria and Bill , and had a lot of laughs and tears as we understand each other’s pain … We are looking forward to seeing Helen and Deborah very soon . Take care everyone . With love Maddie xx
3 Likes
I think it is so lovely and such a blessing that we are forming friendships out of the horror and sadness that we have all been though. I am so looking forward to meeting everyone xxx
2 Likes
It was so uplifting meeting Helen and John, lovely friends too. We gotvon so well. Like we had known all of them forever. Its all because we share and understand.
Look forward to meeting you all later in the year.
Love to all.
Kate xxx
2 Likes
I am so glad you met Helen , hoping to see you later on in the year . Will arrange something. . Maddie xxxx
2 Likes
Thank you so much Kate.
1 Like
Hi all I have been in hospital for a while and haven’t been reading your posts. I was too poorly to even pick up my phone. I was in touch with Maddie as I had to cancel meeting up this month. I was very disappointed as I had been looking forward to meeting some of you. I have been reading your posts this morning to catch up. It really is a struggle every day isn’t it. I felt my daughter in my room at the hospital and I knew that she kept me safe. It was touch and go at one stage as I had sepsis but luckily I had a fantastic team of doctors. On the 2nd day of my admission when I was at my lowest and feeling like I would burst into tears at any minute with fright something told me to look down to the floor beside my bed (no mean feat in my condition) and there on top of my slippers was a feather! Knowing that my daughter was with me helped me gather some strength to pull through. Love to you all Deborah xxx
3 Likes
Hi Deborah, I’m sorry you have been unwell, I hope you are on the mend and feeling better. It’s good to know you were sent strength from your daughter.
Love Chris xx
1 Like