Hi Anne
Your message has come through to the site fine. I feel the same, my life also feels ruined, nothing will ever be the same again. You are trying, going out and seeing people, that is a step in the right direction and like my Kathryn, Scott would want you to try. Always here for you and I think of you often.
Sending love and hugs Deborah 
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Oh Deborah , I am so pleased you are going to put Kathryn portrait , it will be painful to start with , as I know every time I looked at Dawns lovely happy face I just wanted to cry . But eventually you will be pleased you did it .I know you said you talk to her now , but it so different you can talk to her portrait as she will see and hear you , and it will give you a lot of comfort. In time . Donāt forget to take a small photo on holiday with you next week , as you can carry on with it . And I am sure she will be with you in spirit. Hope you have a peicefull day . Maddie xx
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Thanks Maddie. It is up and I havenāt stopped crying. I just canāt believe that she has gone 
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Oh Deborah, try and keep yourself busy today if you can , ? Try and do a little. Bit of gardening and get a bit of fresh air . I wish I lived closer would come and give you a big cuddle cxx
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Hello All,
Yet again and although it is nearly 5 years on I literally just looked at Samās photo and said out loud I cannot believe youāre not here anymoreā¦and now the tears are falling and they wont stop yet. Jason Samās best friend text earlier and has managed to get a date for Samuelās christening (Samuel is Jasonās son who he named after my Sam) and would I be a godparent, bittersweetā¦but I said yes.
With love
Helen
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Helen , what a tribute to Sam ,I so envy you that you have such good friends , and Sams best friends . Sam would be so happy for you . With love Maddie xx
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Thatās lovely. Iām feeling a sense of peace at the moment and Iām desperate for it to last. Iām sure Henryās helping me.
Thank you for posting it.
Purple x
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Dear Helen
Wonderful you were chosen as a godparent to Samuel.
Such a lovely tribute to Sam too 
Iām so sorry youāve had tearsā¦Iām having respite from them, but know of course that anything can trigger them 
My other son was knocked off his cycle last week and has a fractured sternum. He was so lucky to have not sustained anything worse. Iām totally focusing on supporting him at the moment. Thatās a good distraction from Henry.
Iām sending you love and a hug.
Purple x
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Oh Purple so hope your son will be ok , thinking of you as you have been through much , xxx
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Hi Deborah
Think of you often too
I hope you fo manage to put up a photo, I now have photos of Scott in every room, I had photos from our holidays enlarged and now in bathroom. I talk to his photo often and light a candle at night next to it, it helps me, I hope it could help you too.
Thinking of you
Anne xxxx
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Hi Purple
Sorry to hear about your other son. I worry so much about my son Euan, if he is slightly late getting home I call him.
Yes you need to focus on him at the moment which is a good distraction. Sometimes I think distraction is all we have.
Anne xxxxx
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Dear Helen,
What an amazing tribute to Sam you must be honoured and proud what an emotional day the christening will be.
Love Michelle xxxx
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Dear Purple,
So sorry to hear about your sons accident hoping he makes a speedy recovery x
Love Michelle xxx
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Thank you 
Thank you Michelle x
Dear Anne,
I am just like you i have photose everywhere and I light candles, for me this is a big help as I feel Mattās presence everywhere I look, although I know its not everyoneās preference but we have to do what works best for us, I agree about all we have left Is ditracractions and I just keep going for our girls and constantly worry about them, I donāt feel Iām worthy of existing but I think thatās guilt as we are still here and precious children have been taken far too soon 
take care Anne its lovely that you are back posting again .
Love Michelle xxx
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Dear Purple,
So sorry to hear about your son and hope he makes a speedy recovery. Just a few months after we lost Gemma, our grandson, Coren, was rushed into hospital and I still remember the feeling of dread. But it all went well and he was soon back on his feet. That made me realise that things didnāt always turn out so badly and gave me a little hope and confidence. xxx
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Dear Helen,
A wonderful tribute to Sam it shows how close they were,and also a tribute to you Helen for being so strong for Sam when he needed his Mum by his side more than ever.
Take care,ā¦Marina xxx
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Oh gosh,hadnāt seen your post earlier. So sorry to hear about your Son. What a shock for you. I send love and hugs to you. Hope he is recovering now though.
Kate xxxx
Hi All
Thank you all for your kind words, it is a tribute to Sam what Jason has done. Whenever you saw Sam you saw Jason and vice versa, he has struggled himself with Samās passing, he used to say āa brother from another motherā, when I said to Jason about loving Sam he said he loved you unconditionally Helen Iāve never known a bloke so close to his mum which was lovely. Even now Iām lucky I can ring Jason or Danny if anything needs sorting IT wise as they are both IT specialists.
Hope your son is OK Purple and yes youāre right he didnāt sustain anything worse although I imagine thatās painful enough. and glad youāre havving a respite from the tears that is Henry helping.
Love
Helen
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