Should say propose to do…sorry
xxh
Hi All
I’m just sat here now and said out loud to Sam… I love you and I wish you were here bouncing through the door asking if I’ve got any food on the go…!!! I know how lucky I was to have Sam in my life. We once went shopping and I started trying on hats and being daft…as people looked and went past…he would say shes not with me I’m just taking her out for the day!!! Laughing his head off at me. Nothing fazed him at all
Love Helen
Oh Helen I remember you saying about the candles in bulk and I had to laugh , as I know they change things regularly ., and you would not want to run out of their favorite things . I am sure you will do the headstone when you are ready , but always keep part of Sam with you . About 3 years ago when we picked the urn from the dread read undertakers , Dawns friend wanted a few , and believe or not we had ashes all over the garden table , , I said to John that is Dawn scattered there , I know she would have laughed . like Sam she was a character with love Maddie xxx
Dear Helen, thank you fir your wise words. I think that Gemma’s service was so hard for me that my sister’s behaviour almost went over my head. I am trying hard to move in from it and not let it upset me now. Xxx
Morning everyone, I do feel slightly envious at everyone reading old texts and having photos around. I am still not there yet as looking at photos of my darling girl reminds me of how much I have lost. I have put a small one up of Gemma with Charlie as he stays with us so often and I thought it is nice for him to see. xxx
3 Likes
Helen
That’s a lovely memory- knowing we’ve had that time is so special. They were happy times.
For all we’ve lost - I’m so very grateful to have had Henry and I still have George - his brother and all my family. I still feel fortunate.
Sam sounds such fun 
Love to you
Purple
1 Like
We are also so grateful that we have a wonderful daughter and Lisa’s wonderful partner Jamie and our little Brooke.
We have lots of photos of Lisa up in the sitting room. Brooke wanted me to buy a little fairy from a local gift shop when she was over a couple of weekends ago. I asked why she wanted it, she said it was to sit with Mummy’s photos. Bless the darling child.
I still get awful flashbacks to Lisa’s last moments but I feel she had suffered enough, I know she wasn’t in pain but what must have been going through her mind those last few weeks is so hard to contemplate. She never once complained. Always so lovely towards her nurses. One special young woman. I often feel humbled when I complain about some niggling little pain. I think her presence in our lives was a true privilege.
Love to all
Kate xx
2 Likes
Dear All,
Just been reading your posts and all your lovely words Victoria I totally understand about finding it hard to look at Gemma’s texts and photos but pray one day you will as I know you will find a comfort in doing so but only you will know when the time is right 
when I’m driving back from the Cemetery I often shout out to Matt and tell him how much I love him, Lisa your precious Brooke is so wonderful it melts my heart to hear the things she says such a credit to Lisa,
I struggle with being here still even though I do love my girls and hubbie, maybe it’s because we are still waiting for the inquest and perhaps that will help me to move forward but I don’t enjoy this life I’m living at all, I wouldn’t do anything but I think you know what I mean.
Take care everyone
Love Michelle xxxx
1 Like
Dear Michelle, I know how you feel as I often feel the same. I am not the person I was and don’t seem to look forward to things in the same way. Sometimes I am so restless and can’t seem to settle. I am coping much better than I was but always have this undercurrent of sadness.
That is why I value you all so much as you know how I feel and I can be open on here.
Sending you warm hugs xxx
1 Like
Sorry Kate I keep say Lisa instead of you it’s because my best friend is also called Lisa please forgive me
1 Like
Dear Victoria,
You are so right it’s such a help sharing our deepest feelings with those who truly understand us, take care my friend
Love Michelle xxxx
1 Like
It’s OK. I am not offended in the least. Love you all btw.
Kate xx
2 Likes
Hi Purple
Yes he was a bundle of fun, he must have known or googled how long people get to live with a brain tumour but like Lisa never once did I hear why me or hear him complain in fact the opposite. His mates all said to me “we forgot he had that thing in his head” I miss him so much because he was such a bundle of fun, one thing I know for sure is he will be waiting for me.
Love Helen
3 Likes
Yes Helen…they will be there waiting for us and what a moment that will be
Until then we have our lives to live as well as we can without their physical presence.
Love purple xx
2 Likes
Hello everyone , I hope you are ok and coping at the moment ? I must admit the months seems to be flying by so fast , on the 11th a number I hate Dawn would have been gone 4years 8 months , . We met with the MG club the other evening , first one in 15 months and they are still having the Xmas party this year John and myself have not been before as I have not wanted to go as I have always felt guilty enjoying myself . But they begged us to go this year , but it falls on Dawns anniversary 5 years . They saw me put my hand up to my face , and I told them I don’t think I could stand going to a Xmas party on that awful day . . So now I just don’t know what to do . Aimee our Grandaughter came this afternoon and put You tube on my phone so as I was listening to one of my favorite songs Richard Marx , Right here waiting for you , I have always looked at Dawns photo and I always sing to her, but as I was doing this a Robin appeared right outside the conservatory , strange as haven’t seen one in months . With love Maddie xxx
2 Likes
It is lovely when they pop into our gardens or on a path we are walking. I remember when we were all planting a climbing rose called Lisa, Brooke was involved too. When we were all patting it in a Robin was watching on the railings above. Once we had finished it hopped down to take a look!
Love to you all.
Kate xxx
1 Like
Dearest Maddie, such a difficult decision for you. I always find that the lead up to anniversaries are worse than the actual day. I don’t know if anyone else finds the same?
I was wondering if you could say that you will go and there is no shame if you can’t face it on the day and if you are struggling. But you may find that it feels okay to go out and have a lovely time with John and your friends.
I am sure you will make the right decision.
Much love to you xxx
1 Like
Hi Victoria and Maddie
I am the same the lead up is worse than the day itself. Maddie go and enjoy yourself Dawn would expect it and be very proud of you doing it xxh
2 Likes
Thankyou Victoria ,Helen. I think we might just think about the MG Xmas dinner and dance . We usually go away with a couple of friends to a hotel in Bournemouth and just have a quiet time . Anyway we don’t have to book yet . I do know what you mean about the build up being worse than the actual day , as I think all the tears had been shed before the the anniversary , Especially like you Helen , can you believe it will be 5 years since we lost Dawn and Helen xxx
2 Likes
Do sorry Helen , meant to say Sam xxxx