IDear Maddie,
I also hope and pray that our children are at peace and in a better place. I agree that it is hard when the sun is shining. I am still looking for signs from Gemma. xxx
To all you lovely Mumsā¦It is lovely to have warm sunny days but the emotion that comes with them can be unbearable ā¦there as been a little happiness thoughā¦Chris loved red robins I didnāt realise how much until we had to clear his flat,he had beakers and all kinds of things with little red robins onā¦and a few weeks ago when I went into the garage there was a couple of them them bobbing up and down it seems we have a nest of them, they are there every morning when I go in the garage and the look they give me as if I am intruding,I just wish Christian was here to see themā¦
Love to all ā¦Marina xx
Dear Marina, Maddie and all,
I feel so uplifted by the lovely comments on this forum.
You all make such a difference to me.
Night night everyone xxx
To Victoria Wynne Maddie,Helen and allā¦It is a comfort to come on here knowing we are all feeling the same feelings going through the same emotions, not only do I feel I know you all but I feel I know your children as well they come alive to me when you are talking about them ā¦To be able to say truly how you feeling and knowing you will be understood helps so so muchā¦Love to allā¦Marina xx
Hi Marina , thankyou for your lovely words , yes I feel the same its so nice that we all seem to know each other through our children, but its so sad that we are in this awful club that we do not want to be in , Hugs Maddie xxx
Hi everyone, today Iām feeling so stuck. This world which weāre in just seems so far removed from the one which we shared with our daughters and sons. So lively, hectic, happy and āordinaryā to thissadness and agony in which we try to survive. We seem to ā functionā How? I dont know sometimes. Its a constsnt struggle to edge forward to then be knocked back by the wave of emotions and grief. Somehow we get going again. The clock doesnāt stop, life goes on, we know and try each time to accept this but it is so difficult.
In my head, id like to find something new, be in contact with new people (it has taken over 2 years to even think this) but i dont know what, where or how.
I know you all understand.
Love to all x
Hi bir89, so sorry you are having a bad day, I know what you mean though, we have been trying to keep ourselves realy busey since Dawn passed away 16months ago, but no matter what you do its always there ,the constant pain of losing her. I try to be cheerful when I go out ,so I do not depress everyone ,but its not the real me anymore , every time I think of Dawn I just want to cry no matter where I am .Ifeel so frustrated she should be here. I hope you you find some sort of new contacts, ,anything different does help to keep the pain away for a while. Hugs to you Maddie xx
,
Hi Maddie, thank you for you reply. I do keep really busy but it seems as though when I stop or if Iām driving on my own or in the evenings at home it all catches up. Some days you feel like youāve hit a brick wall.
Youāre right about the frontage. I donāt know myself anymore. I keep reminding myself that this is the new world. I canāt give up as I have others to live for and it would be so bad for them. Today, I have told myself that I am going to tell as many people as possible (as and when this may arise and who want to listen) about my wonderful, clever, courageous, inspirational daughter.
Love to all x
Hi, Bir, you are right it is a different world now, I want to talk about Dawn all the time, Iām not going to act like she did not excist ,I want people to rember her and I think they do, but they do not mention her, at least her best friend today says she wants a few of her ashes to make a necklace. like your daughter, Dawn was,very clever,courageous,and she was my rock, no one ever understood me as much as my darling Dawn. Best wishes Maddie x
Hi Maddie, itās lovely to hear Dawns friend would like to do that. These things give comfort.
Joās godfather climbed Kilimanjaro for Cancer Research in her name and his parents name. He took letters to leave there. From the same place where he left these, he brought small stones to keep by their headstones. We have placed our stone.
Take care. X
Hello Everyone,
I too like you all feel very very sad that Sam is not with me anymore in the physical sense but I know he is around me all the time. I like you Maddie bring Sam into the conversation with everyone. Somehow, like last night I had a story to tell of when he was 4 and we were at Gatwick Airport waiting to do the Orlando trip but our new passports had been stamped with the same start and expiry date so they would not allow us to board the plane until it had been sorted out. Sam turned to me and said never mind mummy we can go to Newquay!! It is at times like that I realise what a character he was all through his life. Like you all I sometimes think it would be easier to not go on, but I have no choice because I have another son my husband and grandchildren and I would not give them double the pain they are in now. So I will go on and I know Sam will help me with that.
Love to you all
Helen
Dear Bir and Maddie,
So lovely to hear the stories of your children. Gemma was a real animal lover and campaigned against fox-hunting. I am so proud of her. A man she met on Twitter started a fund-raising campaign in her name and we have raised enough money to build an enclosure at a fox sanctuary to keep them safe.
Take care xxx
Hi VictoriaP, how special and a lovely way to hold Gemmaās memory. I forgot to mention that for the climb, they raised over Ā£330000!! I am very proud too.
Xx
Hello everyone here, I very much agree with what you have been saying about talking of our children. I found myself feeling very unhappy about constantly lying about how I was feeling.
It struck me in particular when I went to church services at All Soulsā Day and then at Christmas for the bereaved . The churches were packed ! So there are so many others who are also not talking about their loved ones.
I decided then that I was going to be a lot more open about my feelings, and about talking about Chris.
You are so right, maddie and bir, we need to let people know of our children how much they are loved.
Thinking of you all, Anneka x
Hello Anneka,
Yes you are right, we need to be more open and talk about our wonderful children
Here is a poem that sayās it all, I changed a few words to him because I am talking about my Sam on his birthday last October:-
I talk about him because Iām proud. I talk about him because he deserves to be remembered. I talk about him because even though he isnāt physically with me, heās never far from my mind. I talk about him because he is part of me, a part that I could NEVER ignore or disown. I talk about him because I love him still, and I always will. FOREVER. Nothing will ever change thatā¦ Happy 35th Birthday my gorgeous son. I love you with every piece of my heart. Wherever you are, I really hope you know that xxx
With love Helen
Hi Helen, such lovely words exactly how I feel, not having a good day today, keep thinking back to when Dawns was in hospital this time two years ago when we were going off to Florida and she was suppose to be going with us and we had to leave her there,we wanted ti cancel , but she insisted we go, and it was so sad, Every day some thing different seems to creep back into my mind , but I suppose thatās all we have now is memories. Love Maddie xx
Hi Maddie
Iām sorry youāre not having a good day, all you can do is keep trying and think of what Dawn would want you to do. Sam was rediagnosed in the August of 2016, and we had a holiday booked to Portugal for 1st October for 7 days. I said Iām not going and he went totally ballistic, something he had never ever been before. I think with Sam as very probably Dawn they wanted us to carry on as normalā¦and you are right all we now have are memories and they are many, they will keep us going they have to as we have no choice but to carry on.
Love Helen
Dear Maddie and Helen,
It feels as almost every day there is something ready to trip us up. But you are right we do have our memories to treasure.
For me ā¦ after losing Gemma I keep going for my family and especially my 21 year old grandson who is such a credit to her.
Take care xxx
Such lovely words I was in tears reading themā¦My Christian wasnāt perfect he had his faults like we all do,but Christian loved his family and his animals, he donated to many charities mainly being for the homeless, the under privileged and of course the animal charities,he was so grateful for what he had in life and yet it was taken from him so earlyā¦Life can be so cruel and unfairā¦
Love to allā¦Marina xxx
Dear Marina, Victoria, Helen and all other mums plus dads,
I love to hear the little anecdotes of all your sons and daughters. It really does help to keep them fresh in our minds. They are always in our hearts but I know that friends seem to forget so easily when they are discussing their children and I can no longer be part of those conversations. It is good to hear of all the charities and good works that you support in their memories. We all need so desperately to keep them close. I still toy with the idea of seeing a medium but I know Daniel would probably not approve but I just want to know he is okay is that so wrong? Sending love to all. Wynne