My love, I too thought I would have a heart attack as the physical pain around my heart was so real and I now know what a broken heart actually feels like.
We are with you all the way.
Take care.
Kate xx
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JSS
I used to count the days thinking I was being taken further away from Henry, but each day that passes takes me a day closer to being reunited. That helps.
I still have a son here, and grandchildren, a husband and friends and family so i want to be here with them until I stop breathing. Henry’s waiting patiently- there is no time on their side to count.
Sending love.
Purple
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Dear Purple,
So beautifully put. It describes exactly how I feel and so very comforting. I still talk to Gemma, we chat about her. She is still my daughter and still part of my world xxx
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Oh Iss , I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your Darling Boy . It’s only been a few weeks , and I know the pain is so raw . I thought when we lost Dawn my heart was going to break , it’s like psychical pain, , I still can still feel it now when I am having real bad days even after 5 years . We are off to Cornwall again tomorrow , and we always take the part of Dawn that we have and photos . So like all mothers we do as much to include our beloved children so they do not miss out , I sure they will be with us in spirit . The best thing you could have done was to join this site , as we are truly the only ones who will know how you are feeling . Take care Maddie xxx
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Thank you all for your insight and words of comfort xx
Purple,
That is fantastic I know they are around us all the time, glad your hip is OK I had mine replaced (luckily) just before lockdown. When you think quietly our spirit never leaves until the job is done (when we’re healed) that will never be, so they stay helping us watching out for us. When our time is done they will be there to take us over. Talk out loud to Henry he will hear you xxh
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Thankyou for sharing , , so how we are feeling , grief consumes us and has made us different people now . We are not the same . We do learne to live with our grief we don’t want this new life , but what choice do we have ? Maddie xx
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It’s a different life that we are now living, and sadly we have no option but to accept it and make the best of what we can of life for our loved ones still around us,…,xxx
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So true, Marina and I think that is the best way that we can honour our lost children xxx
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Bir and all
That is so true, I fear the future I worry myself sick about John, and Geraint. John has problems with his younger son who is an alcoholic, doesn’t wash and turns up for work when he wants to (he works for john). Now he is turning our life upside down with his behaviour its a terrible thing but I just wish he would walk off the face of the earth when I think how Sam was and how he fought, its not fair xxh
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Awful for you Helen. Absolute nightmare. Sending love and thinking of you and John.
Kate xx
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So true Maddie. My sister is in a very black place after losing her husband. I sent her this this morning, hoping it might help her understand her feelings of desperation and not knowing what she needs to do. She is in absolute turmoil a d as we life 6 and a half hours away , I can’t just pop in, so to speak.
Bless her aching heart.
Sending love to all dear friends.
Kate xx
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Dear Helen, it sounds as though John’s son is struggling too. Is he getting any help? Although sadly I am only too aware that people often won’t accept it until it is too late. I think grief always affects us all so differently.
Very difficult for you and John though … just heartbreaking xxx
Dear All
I just cannot accept my life as it is. It feels so empty without my daughter. My younger daughter is now 16 weeks pregnant and it’s a girl. I feel so guilty because I cannot feel any joy for her. She feels Kathryns loss every day but I cannot console her, I feel so selfish but in all honesty I just feel emotionless and numb. All I feel is heartache and pain for the loss of my daughter. I hope that as time goes on I will feel something for others and not feel like a robot just going through the motions every day.
Deborah x
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Dear Deborah, it is such early days for you my love and you have no reason at all to feel guilty or selfish, what you are feeling is the feelings that a Mother feels when she has lost her child, utter despair ,shock and disbelief that she will never see her child again, and though the pain will soften slightly we will take those feelings with us until it is our time to go and god willing to see our child again. …Marina xxx
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Thank you Marina.
Deborah 
Dear Deborah, you are so lucky to have a new granddaughter coming. You are blessed. Once you see the baby I am sure your spirits will be lifted. I would love a new grand baby. Maybe you could knit or crochet a cover for the pram. I pray you will feel better soon.x 
I lost my daughter last year. And feel I am letting my grandchildren down by losing the energy and inspiration to sort clutter out in my home . I have been praying for inspiration and some divine help to get me started. Well I have taken the bull by the horns and I’m getting hired help. They will help me organize and declutter. I know I need this help as it has gone on too long and it upsets my grandson when he visits. So I am doing it for the grandchildren and myself. Its not doing my depression any good looking at it every day. I feel so overwhelmed. So I’m looking forward to my first visit from these 2 ladies. I hope you will gradually start to feel better. I do know how it feels. It has been a year and half dince I lost my daughter and things seem to have got worse. So thanks to whoever is in charge my prayers are being answered not in the way I thought but for what I really need. Best wishes to you. 
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I think we have to do whatever we can if we feel it will help on the journey that we have in front of us…I hope it helps. xx
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Well done in getting your home organised. That is a big step to take and I am sure you will feel better for it. We are all doing the best we can. Let us know how it goes. Sending a big hug xxx
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