I’m just picking up the threads on here as it’s been a difficult month. You’ve summed my feelings up so well.
We know how desperate times are…how the pain just keeps coming.
I’ve been struggling as it was Henry’s 32nd birthday on the 5th…then on the 8th we had a memorial service for my sister in law who died from Covid19 back in March 2020. It was just like attending a funeral- something we couldn’t do due to the rules at the time. Heartbreaking.
Henry died on her birthday- 20th October so this whole month is full of pain. I’ve already decided to go away this time next year…a change of scene might distract me.
I know it will subside…I’ve been in this group long enough to understand how it ebbs and flows.
Everyone here is so brave, so kind and a testament to the best of humanity.
Bless you Purple , you ha be been through so much , and I know we all know you have been such an awful time . E very time we attend a funeral of another love one , it brings back all the the bad memories of losing our
beautiful children , I know when we went to the first after losing Dawn , it was a friend and and he was a lot younger than us , so pleased it was not the same place we had Dawns as I know I could never go back there . And I cried a lot , but I knew I the tears were for Dawn . , not our friend . . Does that sound awful, I did feel really guilty after the service , I know I should not have gone With love Maddie xxx
Hello Purple,
Yes Maddie is right, you have been through the mill. It will be Sam’s 39th birthday tomorrow. Geraint his brotherwill be going to his tree with a can of fosters. I shall just go out for lunch with John, and raise a glass quietly. His anniversary is on the 9th December and I always go away. It does help.
I shall put this on his page tomorrow
Happy birthday Sam 39 today
I didn’t quite know what to do with your memories so I packed them up and put them in a box labelled SAM trouble is they keep escaping and finding their way back to me. At the most random moments
A song…A word…A thought
And then a tear would make its way silently down my cheek.
Miss you everyday Sam
All my love forever
Mum
Thank you all. It was so hard putting her photo up and pain grips me every time I look at it as in life she lit up the room. She deserves to have her photo everywhere and be remembered.
Deborah xx
Im sorry I put my screensaver on from my phone, it will go on his page tomorrow without the icons!!!
I have only just been able to log back in using my laptop up to now I have only been able to use my emails on my phone
Oh Helen say happy heavenly birthday from us tomorrow , to Sam . Another birthday without him . , . And shortly another anniversary coming up , I will. Never forget Sams as it was the day when the doctor called us into his room and gave Dawn 2 awful days to live , and I lost my Dad tghat day In 1972 and I was carrying Sarah. Oh God Helen I don’t know about you , but some days I still l want to scream. I still cannot believe she has actually gone. She was so strong . She was amazing what she put up with with your health . Sending love for tomorrow Maddie xxx
thank you, yes it is so hard, most of the time I cope but sometimes like you I want to scream and ask why I’m still here, but I know Sam would be so angry at me
Thinking of you Helen and Maddie. I will raise a glass to Sam tomorrow and you Helen for being so brave. Our hearts are broken but we are still here, remembering and loving our precious children
Deborah xx
