Zoe, you have found the right place for help. We have all experienced the tragedy of losing our children.
We lost our youngest Lisa to a virus she picked up in Majorca which caused her underlying rare lung condition to become so bad she was on ECMO life support for 54 days. She lost the fight just 15 days after her 31st birthday. She was so well before going on holiday. She was a wedding florist and a young mother and never ever complained about anything to do with her health.
It’s so unfair that we lose our beautiful children, cruel and unimaginable.
We are all here for you Zoe, it’s two years and 3 months since we lost Lisa. Still very painful but friends here have helped me through.
Sending love, Kate x
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Hi Deborah thank you for taking time to reply . When terrible things happen you feel so alone .so thank you love zoe x
Thank you kate thats terrible .why do these awfull things happen. Your children are not ment to go before you .sam had open heart surgery at birth he got through all that to get this dreadful cancer .its so unfair . Thank you i dont feel so one in all this madness love zoe
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Thank you for your kind words .im sorry for your loss. The pain is just unbearable and you feel so alone .thank you x
Well, darling girl, we picked up our granddaughter today from our eldest daughter. She had taken her to Edinburgh where she lives for the second week of the Scottish school holidays. We had her out and about the first week. Here there and everywhere. She doesn’t miss out on love from her Daddy, Uncle and our family.
We drive an hour and a half to meet Jemma and wee Brooke to hand over. She seemed to have grown up in a few days. Unbelievable.
So… we dropped her at Daddy’s ,in their beautiful new house and she ran into Daddy. Then we said our goodbyes, cuddles kisses … Then, we sat in the car and both my husband and I were in tears. We both said ‘Lisa should be there’ . We cried and cried but I had to drive away so they didn’t see us.
It’s so hard and nobody can understand unless they have been in the same situation.
We are all thinking of you and sharing our pain with you to help you understand that we really, really understand like nobody else can.
Love yo you . Kate xx
Oh kate it vreaks my heart your beautiful little grandaughter without her mummy.wheres the right in that …i have a daughter 29 jess she has three children.sam and jess was so close and sam was there superhero they are 8 .5.and three they saw him everyday uncle sam … life i dont get it i feel in great shock .thank you for your support sending my love zoe
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Hello Zoie , after reading you post , my heart breaks for you , what has happened to your beautiful son , is unbearable . No mother should go through all this pain . We lost Dawn in 2016 , December 11 and we could not say goodbye untill 28rh Dec . And to leave her in the awful place , I can’t even say the word untill then I now hate Xmas and we go away if we can , but as you know because of the dreadead covid haven’t been able to . But we have booked Lake Garda again ,to be away for Xmas , well we hope. . Michelle , I am so pleased you met up with Victoria , my heart breaks for you what you have been through, she told me the details , and I just wanted to cry . I know it’s still not over yet . But will be thinking of you on Monday with the verdict . Sending love love Maddie xxxxx
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Hi Marina-m2
So Sorry for your loss of Christian , I also lost my son , (sudden death at home in May) and I come to this site when I am falling and thank goodness I can read through other people’s posts for help. I just came across yours which has given me a bit of comfort as it’s not just the loss, that i will never see/ touch/talk to him again, but all the guilt to. If I had done the CPR better, if I had spoken to the doctor myself as I know my son would Have under played his symptoms On the phone to the Dr. If I had just taken him to A&E when I was worried, if I had taken more notice, if I had hugged him more, if I had been a better mother. My goodness no one could have loved him more and I think he knew that , I just did my best as a mother does , but feel that it was not good enough and beat myself up about everything. As you say all the what ifs , it’s so painful losing a son without all the guilt that comes flooding back with the memory of it all. At least it’s good to know that others have the same feelings even if there is no quick fix. Thanks jss x
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Dear Jss,
It will be four years in December since we lost Christian, and I still have feelings of guilt and so many what if’s and I think that will stay with me all of my life. But deep down we know that there is nothing in the world we would not have done to keep them with us, when I spoke to the coroner after the inquest he assured me that nothing else could have been done for Christian…but the what if’s are still there
My heart goes out to you for I know how those early months feel, no Mother should have to go through such pain and agony,
On this site we are all here for each other and that’s the biggest help and assurance we can have ,so please keep posting…
Thinking of you and remember you are never alone, xxx
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Hello JSS,
Like Marine said, there is nothng we would not have done for our children. All those doubts and guilt are normal and hindsight is a wonderful thing. I too like you think back my son Sam was diagnosed with a brain tumour in 2012 in Sweden where he was living with his wife came home to tell me had a seizure and could not go back. I look back and think if he had been living here i would have seen the first seizure and got him straight to the doctor, but I know deep down there is no more I could have done and yet I remember as a little boy him saying there is something in my ear…now I think was that the tumour growing slowly, I will never know. I will miss and love him all of my life because he filled my life with his can do attitude and his laughter.
with love
helen
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Dear Helen. and Marina , I think we all feel guilty that we could have done something to save our children, that we should of spotted something . I kept telling Dawn she should look after herself more , but she just carried on her own way , but I still blame myself. And now it’s too late , nothing will bring her back. I don’t know if it’s the time of year but I know the Three of us have lost our Daughter .and Sons in December, and I am starting to get more weepy than usual. It’s the time of year when Dawn started to go downhill really quickly , and thought if they could get her into hospital again , they would sort her out . But it wasn’t to be . Take care everyone Maddie xxx
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I know what you mean Maddie about the tears…I dread December… and what makes it seem even worse, is everyone else is so happy getting ready to celebrate Christmas with their families… Oh how I envy them…the true sadness is that we never really fully appreciate the full joy of our loved ones until they are cruelly taken from us…we always expect them to be with us forever… only now, we know that’s not true. xxxxx
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Hi marina-m2 how I agree, I keep asking myself how could I have taken it all for granted that everything would just carry on ok in the same way , I was so naive.
Christmas is always a big deal in our house as it’s my sons birthday as well , this will be the first Christmas ever without him and I am feeling sick already when I see all the decorations in the shops , I just crumpled when I heard a Christmas carol on the tv yesterday.
It’s going to be so hard to get through this year 
xx
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Thanks Helen for your kind words . I have seen some of your other posts and Your son Sam sounds such an amazing character with his positive attitude To life, he must have been such a joy. xX
Hi to all you ladys on this chat .i thank you its the first time i dont feel so alone .i cant imagine xmas without my son sam he was 24 last xmas very homely never went out only to his sisters .he was so layed back .content with himself and asked for nothing …he was so brave we just thought he had siatica nothing showed in bloods . Sunday 10 jan he screamed out he couldnt move his hip had splinted coz of the sarcoma .which caused bone cancer and lung on the 13 th we got told sitting in a room .i was hysterical .but sam was calm . On jan 28th we was told sam had less than twelve months .he had radiopherpy to help pain .he went downhill fast .he died at home in his sleep 27 th april my mums birthday .did she call him theres no words .i have my 60 th and xmas i cant imagine bit have grandchildren our hearts ate truly broken .i thank everyone for there support love zoe x
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Hi Zoe my sons birthday is Christmas Day as well, it’s going to be so awful for us all this year, do we keep the Christmas traditions to honour him or not because it will be so painful.? I have already said I don’t want the decorations up as he always did that, but maybe the other things we did , I don’t know , have to see how it goes. Your son sounds like mine to , worrying about me more than himself. Such kind souls. We will get through this with the help of others in this group, I am so grateful to have found this place of comfort and understanding xx
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Oh Zoe , I am so sorry for the loss of your wonderful boy , , you have been to hell and back . Are darling children did not deserve to go . so young I am sure God calls for best first , how else can you exsplain it ? Sending love to you and your family . Maddie xxxx
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Thats so sad .im sure they would like us to carry on .if i cried sam would say come on its ok mum .sounds mad but did my sam and jess a stocking all there lives. You know funny rubbish i might still do it . Dont know . Yes we all have each others support love zoe
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Yes they are needed in a better place i hope xxx
Hi Zoe
My heart breaks for you reading about your son Sam. How awful for you all. He sounds so unbelievable brave.
My son Scott was 25 and died from an underlying heart condition. It’s not fair for their lives to be cut so short.
My son died on my birthday so I will no longer celebrate it and christmas is about survival and distraction.
This group is so helpful to me and I hope it can help you too
Anne
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