If that finds you peace, that’s what you have to do xxx
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Was talking to my little grandson who was playing xbox in sams room .i asked do you miss sam teddy .he said no i feel hes still here. Gave me comfort xxx sam loved lindor balls . Ted said sam always shared we better open them now . Kids dont know what i would do without them xxx much love zoe x
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What a lovely place to live Deborah, I feel so close to Matt when I’m outside walking anywhere around nature, I am sure our children walk beside us and am sure your lovely daughter was so happy walking beside you taking in all the beautiful surroundings, the photo is lovely with the rays of the sunshine, its good to get out daily and make a regular thing of having your coffee and chatting with your precious girl 
I go to visit Matt at the cemetery most days I take my coffee and light a candle its a lovely spot and have made friends with some of the moms who are on this journey, it helps me feel close to Mattb and its just our time if you know what I mean, enjoy your walk Deborah and we look forward to seeing some more pictures.
Love yo all Michelle xxxx
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Dear All, I came across this today and think it is very true for me and wonder if anyone else does the same? In the earlier days after losing my Gemma, I kept myself so busy to the point of exhaustion. Lots of love to you all xxx
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Yes Victoria , that’s the best way , I have always found keeping busy and planning things does help us through some our most differcult days. With love Maddie xxx
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Hi Victoria,
Definitely agree only way to survive this horrendous journey is to keep the mind busy, its been one of my main coping mechanisms, hope you are well and keeping busy 
Much love Michelle xxx
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Yes its so true. But im at the stage cant believe sams not going yo walk through door and i have horrible dates in my head .jan 10 sam cried out in pain his pelvis had fractured went hospital did scans 13th jan got told sam had sarcoma and cancer was in bones and lung 15 th marsden biopsys then 28 sam had less than a year he was 24 didnt cry didnt moan just cuddled me .be alright mum 27th april he passed my mums birthday did she call him .im broken. Dont think i can ever mend .all these dates flashing in my head it waS to quick it was such a shock .its to much pain xx sorry .l know everyone has there grief love zoe xx
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I still feel that Matt will walk through the door that feeling never fades, you are bound to be remembering all these dates as it a year since it all happened the first anniversary, those dates were so horrendous for you they are embedded in your mind, im so sorry that this happened to your dear Sam, why is life so cruel, no one can say try not to focus on these dates but how can you not? We all do it I say that date was last time we saw Matt before he went abroad and that was the last time he messaged us and so on, All we have is our memories most of them happy ones but quite a few very sad ones, you will get through Zoe because Sam is willing you on and also for the love of your family, he is safely tucked in your heart pocket and he will never leave you 
don’t say sorry on this site you never have to apologise for saying how you feel, we get it and we feel your pain, sending you a big hug 🫂 love Michelle xxxx
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Dear Zoe, that must have been so hard for you, watching your darling Sam being so poorly.
January is difficult for me as we lost Gemma on the 1st February and she went downhill so quickly after such a lovely Christmas together. That is why I struggle to get through Christmas. I had a very surreal experience yesterday. I was asked to go to a village by somebody yesterday and as I drive in they had the most beautiful Christmas tree with the prettiest star on top. It was glistening all over and gave me such a feeling of hope, just difficult to describe. I took a photo of it.
I wonder if I was meant to see it somehow? xxx
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What a lovely tree it looks quite spiritual, I am not surprised it gave you the feeling of contentment whilst looking at it…xxx
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That is how I felt, Marina. It felt spiritual xxx
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Oh Victoria , I can understand why you felt like that , I think we know when something happens or see something special we know it’s a sign from our children . . I still can’t get over Dawn anniversary this year Dec 11 th . I went to pull the blind in our bedroom and I have a photo of Dawn right opposite the bed when it just slid off the dresser . I just know it had to be a sign . Even last night lying in bed , I couldn’t get off to sleep thinking about it . They truly must be around us. Looking forward to seeing you both next week , love to all Maddie xxx
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Sorry meant last year , keep forgetting we are into a New Year , . . A another year ahead without my Darling girl . I so miss her ringing me every night at 6 , we would talk for about an hour . Then she would say got to go mum Eastenders or Coronation Street is starting . Those were precious days love maddie xxxx
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I do start to feel brighter once we get her anniversary over. Like you I do miss our chats over a cup of coffee 
. We are looking forward to seeing you and John next week. I think Gemma sent you for me! 
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Oh yes let’s hope Dawn and Gemma are together, I think you are right I sure we were meant to meet xxxx
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Dear friends, well we all made it through Christmas and new year. I have been OK on the whole until yesterday.
I took Brooke home after a 2 night sleepover. Jemma was here till yesterday morning and we had a lovely time.
Anyway, I left Brooke with Jamie and set off home . Suddenly tears were pouring down my cheeks. I was overwhelmed by sadness and got that sickly pain In my guts when I realised again that Lisa is gone forever. Not just away somewhere, just gone. Strange how the grief trips us up when we least expect it.
Love to you all.
Kate xx
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Hi Kate , sorry to hear you are feeling so sad, when you have had your family around and it all goes back to normal , that’s when thel loneliness sets in let’s hope it won’t be too long before you see Jemma and Brooke again. I did text Sarah I took a chance wished her happy new year and asked her if we could talk . But she said she wasn’t ready to see me yet it will take time , but atleast we are texting ocationally. . . Take care love Maddie xxx
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Oh I do hope you can get back to a good relationship with your daughter.
I am fine now it just took me by surprise.
It’s Brooke’s birthday on the 11th so I guess that’s been on my mind too. We aren’t having her party till the following weekend when Jemma’s back up.
Anyway, on Saturday Brooke and I are going to look at new big girls bikes! She is so excited! Looking forward to that.
Love to you Maddie.
Kate xxxx
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Oh that’s something to look forward to . How old will Brooke be this year. . ? Xxx
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Hi Michelle thank you for your kind words .i have to believe hes with me.little things songs adverts .feathers and robins .i wouldnt cope without that believe .i really dont know how i would get through some days no one understands .but you beautiful people on here .thank you michelle for taking time to answer me big hugs zoe x
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